Telling Secrets

Celebrating Women's Ministries

2012-02-10T09:29:00.001-05:00

The closing Eucharist for the GOE (General Ordination Exams) was a special event designed by one of our chaplains, the Rev'd Dr. Katharine C. Black. Katharine is Priest in Charge of The Church of St. John the Evangelist, Bowdoin Street, Boston, MA, a former seminary classmate and someone I am pleased and honored to call my dear friend - proof positive that we're both still crazy after all these years.

Since the year 2012 marks the 35th Anniversary of the "regularization" of the ordination of women, Katharine proposed that we designate a special day on the liturgical calendar in Celebration of Women's Ministries.

She further suggested that we have it on the anniversary of the consecration of the Right Rev'd Barbara Clementine Harris, the first woman to be ordained bishop in The Episcopal Church.

Katherine proposed several wonderful hymns and wrote a collect prayer. I am delighted that she has given me permission to publish her sermon and the collect.

I am doing so in hopes that Katherine's "modest proposal" of a date on our liturgical calendar to celebrate Women's Ministries begins to spark some conversation which in turn will generate a movement to make this a reality.

In the meantime, enjoy the sermon. It's really quite wonderful.

LET US PRAY:

Gracious, energizing God, you fill your faithful people with gifts of leadership, hospitality, and kindness; we thank you for women in all ages, who have heard your voice, received your gifts, and responded as themselves to your call (in particular for the ordination of the Rt. Rev. Barbara C. Harris February 11, 1989:) fill us, too, with the fire and grace of their witness; through Jesus Christ our Saviour, who with you and the Holy Spirit lives and inspires us, now and always. AMEN.

In the name of God who created us from love, saves us through love, and loves us now and always. AMEN.

GOE Set I: Liturgy. Design a Votive Eucharist for a Common of Women’s Ministries, naming date, texts, color, music, and other details of the liturgy, making it useful for a Variety of Women and Their Ministries. Include the homilette you’d preach. Limited Resources: BCP, EOW, BOS, NOAB, authorized hymnals.

A year ago, I realized it would be both nearly Barbara’s (Harris') 23rd anniversary and my 12th and final year here, so I asked for this occasion to consider with all y’all the necessity of the 11th of February being a Day on the Calendar to celebrate Women’s Ministries, in particular.

I was a Deacon when Bishop Harris was elected and ordained. I’d asked my seminary professor what the election would be like, and he said, “Boring. Episcopal elections are boring; you’ll need two books to last the whole time.”

the Rev'd Dr. Katharine C. Black

The voting went back and forth, until the 7th ballot. The rector for whom I worked was the lieutenant for the long-time diocesan faithful male priest, and the rector’d asked me to sit with AND vote with him. With as much ingenue sweetness as I could muster (even then,) I said I’d sit with EDS friends, with my historian friend, behind Sue Hiatt, architect of women’s ordination, and Carter Heyward the most frequent public face of those 11 women.

When Bp. Johnson said, “We have an election,” Sue and Carter looked at each other in wonder, sweetly, and then most people stood up, whooped and hollered. I turned to my friend, “Did you think this was boring? I thought it was pretty exciting.” “No, Katharine; this was not boring.”

Because Feb. 11th secured the knitted row after the ordained women’s row, it’s the date that makes most sense for celebrating Women’s Ministries. What color do you think should be used for this votive?

I think blue for Our Lady and all other women, but it’s Epiphany, so maybe green, so is this blue or green? Yes. (Note: It was teal)

What should the proper preface be? Of the Holy Spirit— “Who (by water and the Holy Spirit has) made us a new people in IX,” or Pentecost, (“lighting upon the disciples, to teach them and to lead them into all truth,”) or a Saint (1) “for the wonderful grace and virtue declared in all your saints,” or Apostles—although that may be cheeky, (“after his resurrection) sent forth apostles (to preach,”) or Baptism, (“you have) received us as your sons and daughters, (made us citizens of your kingdom,”) or the seasonal, Epiphany, (“you have caused) a new light (to shine in our hearts, to give the knowledge of your glory in the face of your Son,”) today—that—but in your doing such a liturgy, on 11 Feb, naming “in particular Bishop Harris, and... ” you might choose a more apt preface.

The hard part for me, was, of course, the scripture.

The Canadian BCP has such a votive, but its choices didn’t much suit me, and I’m not a Bible Baptist, so I sent out a plea to my bible churchy friends: to Mary Sulerud, Mary Callaway, Tony Lewis, John Hooker, Kathryn Piccard, Francine Cardman(Church History at Weston-Jesuit,), Sandi Rufo Civitareale, and other wise women and men. Several thought I was casting about for what to say, but really only texts.

Some suggested Bible women I didn’t know, to my shame: Rizpah, Vashti, and Jochabod. I’ve thought for years, that if Jews and, then Christians, had prayed instead of “in the name of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob,” or even “Sarah, Rachel, Rebecca, and Hagar,” but “in the name of Deborah, Jael, Rahab, and Judith,” a different sort of notice would have been given which might have simplified life for women for these eons.

Laurel Ulrich in Good Wives observes that it was such women’s behavior of “feminine strength and assertiveness” that was “proximately problematic for everyone in a woman’s sphere, running against the grain.” Naming such women aloud would have made them part of all our grain, to become whole grain— and we know whole grain’s better for us than just white....

People offered a range of texts. From Hebrew Scripture, the wives of the patriarchs, or wives and spares, and Hannah and Miriam, but I chose Deborah because she sat listening, was a fair judge until rudely attacked, and then found someone to destroy the enemy; patient, effective judging, and a decisive successful winning result— a fine model. The Epistle took choosing, because for almost every woman named, there’s a scholar to say a serious, “But...”

Ephesians, though, asks everyone to grow to adulthood and real maturity. That would help faithful living and mission in any/all worlds.

The Gospel choices were hardest.

The 11original Philadelphia women chose Mary Magdalene, but to me her story sounds like an irregular wife, less a woman of independence who met Jesus and continued as she was, in her best self; she’s almost more a companion—which isn’t a bad thing, but to me doesn’t add much to the Sara/Rachel/Rebecca models, oddly. Mary& Martha are fraught because of the “better” part in one text, and I can’t remember what Bp. Harris used.

This woman, the woman of Syrophonecia, comes in faith to Jesus, and he refuses to help her because she isn’t one of “his.” She refutes him, with her “Even the dogs deserve the crumbs under the table.” Whatever Jesus thought of himself after his baptism, healings, and other wondrous things he’d done, I doubt he expected a foreign woman to argue with him.

He heard her need, but more he heard that he had to expand his thinking and doing, beyond “his” sheep, and look around to help out in the whole world. Jesus, Son of God, Savior of the world, learned, changed his mind, grew, expanded and updated his vision, because a strong woman taught him more about his own nature than he’d known about himself—so she’s my choice.

Were you to do such a commemorative service, these are the elements you’d juggle.

What lists would you include in your “And in particular...” I’d start with Phillipa from In This House of Brede, by Rumer Godden, even though she’s fictional, Sr. Luke from The Nun’s Story, Willa Cather, Rose Macaulay, Dorothy L. Sayers, and P. D. James. They’ve taught me about vocation from the time I found their books.

Florence Li Tim-Oi

I know I’d make a day with Florence Li Tim-Oi, (even though she now has her own day,) with Sue Hiatt, Carter Heyward, and maybe Anne Robbins, the first woman to celebrate for GBEC.

I might have a music day including Kathleen Thomerson, Lesbia Scott, Cecil Frances Alexander, and Ruth Boshkoff. Maybe I’d have an NT day, with Mary, Mary Magdalene, Mary&Martha, Anna, Phoebe, Dorcas, and all, or a church history group of—who’d you pick—Monnica, Macrina, Clare, Hildegard, Joan of Arc, Hilda of Whitby, Margaret of Scotland? Maybe Joan of Arc should be in a Women of Politics day, with Queen Elizabeths I and II, Victoria, Mary Dyer, Eleanor Roosevelt, Frances Perkins, Jane Addams, and who was the first woman Senator, President of a major university or general/admiral?

Maybe I’d include the men who’ve been of support and help, Bp Ladehoff, and our bishops here, a flock of musicians and MC’s who haven’t batted an eye to play an octave higher for women’s chant, or to teach us patiently what we’d not been taught earlier because we’d never need such, to be thurifers, move in liturgical patterns as though when they taught us, it was as ordinary, as it now seems to some.

Holy Women, Holy Men does a fine job in coloring in many days on the calendar with people who’ve served in a variety of ways. The models for women have been expanded from the earlier common ones of young, beautiful, tortured, and suffering an early death, or celibate, plaster and emaciated.

Still there needs to be a Common of Women in Ministry date, and it should be on February 11th. Who’d be on your list? What lists would you develop? Women of Principle? Teachers? Unnamed women who just served?

Your best English teacher, and your kindergarten teacher who taught you to read, to love reading for life, your first woman math or science teacher, who taught women could do science as well or better—that gender didn’t matter for science. Or women artists? Mary Cassatt and who else?

Women poets— Emily Dickinson— “The supper of the heart is when the guest has gone,” a memorable thought on Eucharist, and Pattiann Rogers’ poem, “I have a need to adore,”—I fear leaving out individuals and categories.

Who’re yours? Who taught you to follow Christ as YOU are, not in someone else’s shoes or model? Who allowed you to follow Christ? Who helped you argue with, talk to Jesus to help him understand the world as it has become, so that he —with your work —your whole-hearted heart and mind’s work, play, and life—could further the coming of the reign of God?

Do develop your own observances for 11 Feb. remembering: “Life is short and we do not have much time to gladden the hearts of those who make this earthly pilgrimage with us. So be swift to love, and make haste to do kindness.”

It’s to our best selves we’re called. We give thanks for those who’ve prepared and are preparing a path for us, and for our own modest path-making, until Jesus welcomes us, each and all, into Paradise forever: Good News.

One million

2012-02-09T19:33:00.000-05:00

When I was a kid, there was a MacDonald's not too far from where I lived. It was considered a HUGE treat to go there because....well, I don't know....probably because we heard the commercials on the radio and saw them on television and, oh my gosh, we actually got to go and eat at a place that must be famous because....well, I don't know....probably because we were there at the very place we heard commercials about on the radio and TV.

I remember when the sign under the distinctive golden arches read "One Million Served". My siblings and I were inexplicably excited and overcome with squeals of delight in the back seat of the De Soto car my father drove as we passed by the restaurant. We - WE - had been among those millions served a greasy hamburger with melted cheese on a sesame bun along with french fries drenched in ketchup that I still think are the best anywhere.

Somehow, that made us feel...oh, I don't know..."special" in a way. I guess because it meant that we had achieved a modicum of affluence to actually eat in a place where others had also been able to afford to eat.

We lived a very modest life and going out to eat - even at MacDonald's - was a treat almost akin to getting a good report card and being treated to a hot fudge Sundae at the local ice cream parlor.

I haven't noticed a MacDonald's sign in a long while - the golden arches are now part of the landscape of Americana, so who notices, anymore - but I believe that last time I saw one, it read, "Billions and Billions Served".

I say all this because, just last night, I noticed that my site meter reported that, as of July 29, when I installed the thing, I have had over 1 Million "hits" to my blog.

Over. One. Million.

In a little less than six years.

I'm astounded.

And, profoundly humbled and grateful that so many of you actually read what I have to say about everything from all things Anglican/Episcopalian, to religion in general and politics in particular, to gushing about my children and grandchildren, to reflecting on my life on the water, to sharing recipes to ranting about something or other in the news.

Beyond the obvious narcissism of blogging - I mean, it IS narcissistic to think that what I have to say about what I think might be of even passing interest to others - I blog what I write because it has become a spiritual discipline of sorts.

The habit of writing is for me what daily exercise is for others. It's part of what I do to sort out and make sense of what's happening in the world around me.

It's a form of prayer that keeps me centered and focused. I write about it, and then I can let it go. Or, channel my passion or my anger into some form of action - even if it's just keeping folks informed about an issue and urging them to take action.

When I started this blog a little less than six years ago, I naively thought I was doing so as a way to keep my congregation informed about General Convention. Three years earlier, I had written daily emails to my Wardens who then shared them with others. My Parish Administrator at the time suggested that I set up a blog so that everyone could read it more quickly and we wouldn't have to Xerox everything.

He neglected to tell me that, unless you make sure the settings are such that only those who are invited to your blog are the only ones who read it, the whole world can tune in.

Imagine my surprise - and, no small amount of horror - when I began getting comments from people I had never met. And, not only in this country, but around the world.

Apparently, many people were very interested in what The Episcopal Church was doing at that General Convention. That's when I learned about "Google". Type in a few words, press 'search' and voila!

I'm embarrassed to admit my ignorance and naivete but that's the Gospel truth of it.

Now, Google has - as so many things do these day - transformed from a noun to a verb. I, like so many others, google several times a day. What would I do without it?

When I returned home from General Convention, I learned about a site meter and, curious as to how many people actually read this blog (since not everyone leaves a comment, thanks be to God), I check into it from time to time.

I've not always done well with blogging. Mistakes have been made. I've written things I later regretted writing. I've actually pulled down a few posts after writing them. And, I don't post half the things I write - like my poetry - because they are too personal to send out into the blogosphere.

More than the number of people who read this blog, I'm astounded by the spiritual hunger that is out there in the world. I think some people read my posts because they are struggling with many of the same issues I struggle with and they are hungry, not so much for answers, but for a little companionship in the struggle.

Sometimes, I think blogs are the MacDonald's of literary form. They are fast food for those on the go. You can drive through a pick up a Mac Nugget of theology or a Big Mac of politics with special sauce of Anglicanism.

Little Miss Tiara

It's not anywhere as substantive as, say a Filet Mignon of Hemmingway or a Shakespearean Lobster bound between two fine, rich, leather covers, but it is, I think, it's own form of artistic expression.

So, here's to you, whoever you are, who come and sit by my fire and listen to my stories and rants and other ruminations of my heart and soul about life in general and my passions in particular.

Thank you for your companionship and your comments. Thank you for your loyalty and your love.

I've made some wonderful friendships over the past six years, some of which have been "consummated" over a meal and others which await an actual incarnational, embodied visit.

Despite the occasional hate-filled, nasty comment (which I've learned to 'moderate' so only I have to read them and you don't) I've learned that mostly, a stranger is just a friend I haven't yet met.

For all the successes and failures, for all the friends I've made, for the profound privilege of being a vehicle of the Holy Spirit, and for the love of God I've known incarnate in Christ Jesus, I give thanks and praise.

I have been truly blessed "billions and billions" of times

Unplugged

2012-02-08T17:51:00.000-05:00

I'm here in a wee cabin by the lake at Kanuga Conference Center in the Western part of North Carolina where I am privileged to be a GOE (General Ordination Exam) reader.

The schedule is brutal but the conversation and companionship are wonderful and the work is intellectually stimulating and spiritually satisfying.

There are no televisions to be had. My smart phone, I've discovered, isn't so smart without a cell tower to link the AT&T signals to my phone. I can't call, text, IM, check my Facebook or email or other blogs or send the pictures I've taken.

The Wifi in the main lodge works fine but the connection here in my cottage is iffy at best. I've lost the signal on my laptop twice just typing this.

I am, for the most part, unplugged.

And, ya know what? It really ain't half bad. I mean, I'm not even annoyed. It's okay. Really.

There was life before technology.

There is life without technology.

I'm not even really sure I can claim that life is better with technology.

Oh, we're saving tons of forests (and money) by having everything available online and, when I'm near the main lodge, I can access it easily. And that is good.

However, I'm not sure that being plugged into the world for the greater part of my waking hours is as important as I once thought it was. I'm not entirely sure it is good for either my soul or my psyche.

Oh, I'd like the convenience of making a few phone calls, but mostly, I can live without the constant chatter of conversations through social media that I've grown so accustomed to being the "background noise" of my life.

On Monday night, we heard an absolutely stellar presentation from the Rev'd Dr. Patrick Malloy who is a GOE chaplain and a professor of liturgics at the General Seminary in Manhattan.

He talked about the Triduum - the three Holy Days of Maundy Thursday, Good Friday, The Great Vigil of Easter - which prepare us for Easter Day.

Beyond being three separate liturgies which are parts of a unified whole, they are celebrations of our history as well as the reality of the present. In other words, because of those historical events, we can celebrate the mystery of our faith:

Christ has died. Christ is risen. Christ will come again.

I always knew that, of course, but hearing it in a fresh, new way has sparked something in me that deeply resonates with my present circumstance of being 'unplugged'.

I think I spend so much time being connected to the present that I sometimes miss the miracle of the moment that is right in front of me.

It's ironic and paradoxical and it's true.

I think I'm realizing that being plugged in has become a false god of sorts - a jealous, demanding god who requires more attention than it probably deserves.

No, I'm not going to dump my smart phone and lap top in the lake. Neither am I going to stop using technology to assist me in my work.

I think what I'm trying to say is that, after I leave here, I'm going to try to be smarter about using technology, so that I don't allow it to use me.

I'm not going to be so much "unplugged" as I will try to be connected to things in a new and different way.

It's a pretty liberating thought, actually.

I'm going to take a walk now, before dinner, and listen to the Canada geese and ducks out by the pond. I'm going to plug into the sounds of Mother Nature and try to turn down the noise in my head just from reading the batch of almost 100 emails that were waiting for me to read when I finally plugged back into technology.

Who knows what new thing I'll see or hear or think while I'm unplugged from one information source and plugged into another?

ENS: War on Women

2012-02-06T17:38:00.001-05:00

I wrote the following article which was published by ENS today. You can find it here or read it below. I'm hoping ENS will ask other women to write and this War on Women becomes an ENS series.

If you have something to say about this undeclared war, why not write an article about it and send it to ENS? It's one way to get your voice heard.

Note: I'm at Kanuga this week, having the privilege of being a reader for the General Board of Examining Chaplains. I just arrived. The scenery is beautiful. The schedule looks brutal. Blogging will probably be sporadic. I'll pray for you. You pray for me.

The ‘war on women’

Round I: Komen vs. Planned Parenthood

By Elizabeth Kaeton | February 6, 2012

[Episcopal News Service] There is an undeclared war on women in this country and around the world.

The recent decision by the Susan G. Komen Foundation to essentially end its decades-long partnership with Planned Parenthood brought this struggle, which was played out in the Internet at head-snapping speed, to a different new battleground.

Komen’s founder and chief executive, Nancy G. Brinker, held a news conference and insisted that the organization’s decision had nothing to do with abortion or politics. Rather, she said, it resulted from improved grant-making procedures and was not intended to make a target of Planned Parenthood.

Her comments directly contradicted those of John D. Raffaelli, a Komen board member and Washington lobbyist, who reported that Komen made the changes to its grant-making process specifically to end its relationship with Planned Parenthood.

By the end of the week, Brinker apologized and said that the grants promised to Planned Parenthood – $700,000 last year, a tiny portion of its $93 million in grants to finance 19 separate programs – would be re-instated. Indeed, in the process, Planned Parenthood received over a million dollars in additional contributions – including a very public matching grant of $250,000 from New York Mayor Bloomberg – in less than 72 hours.

No one from the Komen Foundation is talking, but from the buzz on the Internet, hundreds of thousands of people – men and women – are pledging not to support the efforts of the organization that made pink ribbons an outward and visible sign of the “race for the cure” to end breast cancer.

That battle was won but the war is far from over. The reproductive rights of women are under sharp attack from the religious and political forces of the evangelical right, the Roman Catholic Church, and the Tea Party wing of the Republican Party. The battle plan is patently clear: limit women’s access to abortion, birth control, and services after rape and sexual assault by changing laws, state by state, and ensure that government funding is not delivered to any agency that supports reproductive rights in any way. Do this with a ballot in one hand and a Bible in the other. And when you don’t get what you want, cry “religious intolerance.”

On another front, human trafficking is a mega-billion dollar global industry unregulated by any country or international body. It is a criminal activity ignored and/or tolerated with devastating consequences for the person involved. Trafficking ranks just behind drug and arms trading as the most lucrative forms of commerce. It is no surprise that the vast majority of trafficked persons are women and children. Nor is it any shock that most of those who do the trafficking are men.

The violence continues unabated. A report released in late December 2011 by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention states that one in four women in the United States suffers “severe physical violence,” and one in five is raped at some time in their life. Millions of women are suffering serious violence quietly at any time.

According to another CDC survey, four women die because of domestic violence every day in the United States of America. For every woman who dies, hundreds keep suffering without any recourse, without any letup in violence. They remain alive, but are not “living” by any dignified definition of the word.

These are just some of the battles of this war. There are many, many others, including employment, education, immigration, access to affordable health care options, health insurance, the military and yes, the church,

As national convener of the Episcopal Women’s Caucus, I receive calls and e-mails from women – ordained and members of the laity – who tell horrific stories of unfair employment practices, which include discrimination in salaries as well as hiring, firing, insurance and pension benefits. These may not show up in the statistics of the church, but the anecdotal evidence is overwhelming.

The recent battle between Komen vs. Planned Parenthood gives us many insights on how women and men of quality can fight back for equality. The fatal flaw in the Komen battle plan was to consider Planned Parenthood just another organization. It is not. It is what it always has been: a movement. Organizations are fine. Movements are better.

Social media played a critically important role in this battle. Women can mobilize without the cost of meetings and gatherings and travel expenses or salaries for executives and staff. It is relational but not incarnational, so it does have its drawbacks, but it remains a highly effective way to have our voices heard about what happens to our bodies.

“The personal is political.” That was the battle cry of the early feminist movement. It has never been more true than today. It is also deeply spiritual. Women of faith must begin to use the tools offered to us in the post-modern world to fight a battle that in many ways is as old as the Garden of Eden. With a modicum of organization, we can become a movement that is a force to be reckoned with.

So, pick up your smart phones, ladies, and take up your fax machines, turn on your laptops and fire up the Internet. Let’s tweet, text, IM, Facebook, fax, phone and e-mail our way to justice and equality.

There is an undeclared war on women in this country and around the world.

– The Rev. Elizabeth Kaeton is an Episcopal priest in the Diocese of Newark and the national convener of the Episcopal Women’s Caucus. She was recently elected to a three-year-term on the national board of the Religious Coalition for Reproductive Rights.

What's in it for you?

2012-02-04T12:09:00.004-05:00

Agnus Day

Of all the things Jesus said and did, texts like this one from Mark 1:29-39 are the ones that make me squirm in my stiff white collar. We'll hear it tomorrow morning in church.

Jesus had no Temple or Church. No office hours. No one made an appointment to come see him. He went out to where the people were and preached and taught and healed them where they were.

He collected no salary or pension or health or life insurance. No travel or housing or continuing educational allowance. No car, in fact.

He hoofed it on foot, walking all over Israel, from the North to the South and sea to shining sea.

In a way, I envy him. He never had to worry about the Three Killer B's of Parish Ministry: Budgets, Boilers and Bishops. (There are another B-words some use to describe some of the people in the pew - or the pastor in the pulpit - but since this is a family blog, I'll refrain from elaboration.)

St. Paul told the early church in Corinth: "For if I do this of my own will, I have a reward; but if not of my own will, I am entrusted with a commission. What then is my reward? Just this: that in my proclamation I may make the gospel free of charge, so as not to make full use of my rights in the gospel". (1 Corinthians 9:16-23)

What he means by this, I think (and whoever knows what Paul is really thinking), is that he didn't want to give anyone any ammunition to discredit him or impugn his motives for preaching the Good News.

You have to admit, it's a powerful argument.

When I was going through the ordination process, someone on the Commission on Ministry asked me, "So, what's in this for you?" At the time, I was shocked and deeply resented the question. I was angry and hurt that anyone would question my motives.

Understand, please, that I was the fourth woman to go through the ordination process in a diocese that had been intensely hostile to ordaining women. I automatically assumed that his question was filled with gender bias.

Perhaps there was some of that in there, but I was comforted when I later learned that he asked that question of all aspirants for Holy Orders who came before the COM.

It's a good question. It's an important question. It's a question everyone who is doing any kind of ministry - lay or ordained - should ask themselves and each other: Why you are doing what you are doing in the church?

What are you getting out of it? I mean, besides the fact that you love Jesus and want to live a sacrificial life of servant ministry? What's in it for you, besides the good feeling that comes from feeling good and righteous and noble?

Tough question, isn't it? Makes you squirm a little, doesn't it?

The thing of it is that, unless we get clear about our motives for ministry, we set up ourselves and others for all sort and manner of power dynamics and dysfunction.

Agnus Day

There's an excellent article by Bradley N. Hill in this month's Christian Century: "An elephant in the room?: How meeting agendas get hijacked".

When someone claims there is an elephant in the room it generally means a huge and hot topic present that is so volatile everyone tacitly agrees to avoid it.

"The elephant," Hill writes, "is an obvious but hard truth that is not being addressed, in part because to face, name and own the related issue would be frightening. Honesty becomes taboo. No one wants to cause embarrassment. The group prefers avoidance and feigned ignorance to bold but painful confrontation. It is a form of denial."

More often than not, however, it's more like crying wolf in the midst of sheep. Or, yelling "Fire!" in a crowded movie theater.

It's a power-play.

"As a result," says Hill, "the elephant crier takes over the meeting and the elephant - whatever it is, however big or small - defines the terms of engagement. We must deal with the elephant before we can do anything else. The elephant crier usurps the agenda and owns the floor......Either way, any other discussion is cut off because of the urgency of this "new" issue.

I submit that the real issue in these cases can be found in the murky baptismal water of motivation for ministry.

I know I'm going to sound really, really jaded when I say this, but here it goes: I suspect that all this talk in the church - well, these days, in The Episcopal Church - about mission is not about mission but a power-play that serves the institutional church.

Here's why I say this: A plan that seeks to 'restructure for mission' which limits the power of the baptized but not ordained is not an honest plan. It's not at all about mission but institutional preservation.

The presenting problem would seem to be declining membership and finances. Instead of putting our energies into dealing with the problem, we invite a herd of elephants into the room which are not the problem but may be part of the diagnosis of the problem.

Besides "not doing mission" - which is a valid issue, here are some of those elephants I've heard:

* Liturgy and music and preaching have to be more 'relevant' - the definition of which changes depending on which elephant is crying loudest.

* We've got to "get back" to using *only* the BCP.

* We've got to have more "creativity" and use language that is not only expansive and inclusive but more reflective of the times.

* We have to have more "ethnic" music.

* The sermons have to be shorter - or, longer - and more expository in nature.

* The liturgy has to be "fun" or (gasp!) "entertaining".

* The younger generation is not just missing, it's members are missing because they don't have a youth group or a designated meeting room, or they're not allowed to 'tweet' or 'text' during the service, or the "music doesn't speak to them", or the service is not otherwise "youth friendly".

* We don't "market" our church. We need a mission statement that relentlessly appears everywhere on everything: the agendas of every meeting, the committees of the Vestry and even the budget has to be organized around the mission statement.

* Unaddressed issues of 'sin' - primarily among the leadership, staff or members.

* The congregation has never 'healed' from past disastrous leadership. They need 'time'.

* "Money follows mission". (This one makes me cringe. Every. Time.) If we just started doing the mission of the church - whatever that is - we'd have lots of money for the church. (As if those were two separate things.)

Mind you, these may be valid components of the reason congregations (and dioceses) are stuck and do not have something we like to call 'vitality' but, like 'mission', we're not really certain what that means.

We don't really have a consistent set of 'vital signs' to be able to determine whether or not a congregation has 'vitality'. Clearly, the old weights and measurements of ASA (Average Sunday Attendance), numbers of Baptisms, Marriages and Funeral, the number of children in Church School, and the Accounts Balance Sheet do not give the whole picture.

What if we looked at other standards, like, say, how many of the congregants feel that what they hear in church on Sunday shapes and forms what they do the rest of the week?

Or, how many of the church members have a strong sense that they are better equipped to be moral agents in their families, neighborhoods, and work and market places in the world because they are members of a faith community?

Or, here's my own, personal favorite 'vital signs' of a faith community:

How is 'church' defined - locally, diocesan, nationally and internationally?

How many would say that the church is a vehicle of transformation and healing?

Do the community members see themselves as servants of the Gospel of Jesus Christ?

Do the ordained leaders model servant leadership?

Do people in the congregation sense the living presence of the Risen Christ?

Is the focus of the church on what happens on Sunday morning or does what happen on Sunday morning shape and form what happens in the church - and the world - the rest of the week?

What risks has this community taken - what sacrifices has it (and it's individual members and leaders) made - for the Gospel?

Is the wilderness wild enough for them to confront their demons?

Is the desert dry enough for them to let die what needs to die?

Is the well deep enough for everyone who is thirsty to drink?

Is the spiritual food rich enough for everyone who hungers to be fed - and empowers and enables them to go out and feed others?

There are lots of reasons for church decline and financial difficulties, but crying 'mission' as the elephant in the room is to not confront some of the more difficult problems inherent in the fact that 'trickle down ecclesiology' - financial support of the institutional church at diocesan and national levels as the major focus of the church - has become *the mission* of the church.

Jesus came to save and heal others - not the church.

I remember hearing the rector of the congregation that supported me in ordination process preach, "The church that lives for itself, dies by itself." That is the picture that is emerging from the last Executive Council meeting. Clearly, that is the picture we'll be confronted with at General Convention in July in Indianapolis.

Clearly, that's not the picture we see in either Sunday's Gospel or in the snapshot Paul gives us of the early church in Corinth.

There's a little non-denominational evangelical church up the road from me that always has sayings on the church sign out front that sometimes makes me angry, sometimes makes me laugh, and sometimes makes me squirm.

This month, the sign reads: "Free coffee and eternal life at every service."

The gospel, says St. Paul, is "free of charge". He says that this is lest anyone question or impugn the motives of those who bring the Glad Tidings of God in Christ as we read it in the Gospels.

And the rest, as they say, is history. The Gospel was spread and the church grew and has lasted for centuries.

In the morning, while it was still very dark, he got up and went out to a deserted place, and there he prayed. And Simon and his companions hunted for him. When they found him, they said to him, "Everyone is searching for you." He answered, "Let us go on to the neighboring towns, so that I may proclaim the message there also; for that is what I came out to do." And he went throughout Galilee, proclaiming the message in their synagogues and casting out demons. (from Sunday's lectionary).

I know, I know. It makes me squirm, especially as I sit here typing this on my seven-year old $600 lap top in my nice warm home on the water, living frugally but comfortably on the pension I earned which is calculated by the income I received from working for the institutional church and the itinerant ministry I now perform.

Perhaps squirming is the beginning of the process of transformation. You know, the way you decide to begin to diet and exercise when you begin to feel too snug in your favorite jeans.

Perhaps transformation begins with the clarifying question, "So, what's in this for you?"

I suspect that question is the biggest elephant in the room.

Tough talk about tithing

2012-02-02T15:17:00.000-05:00

I've been intrigued by the reports of the "dueling budgets" at the recent meeting of Executive Council.

At least at one point, part of the discussion was whether or not the "asking" from the folks at 815 (As in "Second Ave., NYC, NY", The National/International headquarters of The Episcopal Church) to the dioceses ought to be 19% or 15%.

Which is interesting because, at least at one point and in my diocese, we subscribed to "50/50 Giving". The scheme was that every church give 50% of its operational budget away - 25% to the diocese and 25% to mission. In turn, the diocese would do the same: 25% to "headquarters" at 815 and 25% to mission.

I never understood it. I mean "50/50 Giving" sounds more like a raffle than a Stewardship Plan.

In my diocese, we've reduced our giving to the National/International Church (815) from 25% to 19%. We still owe a couple hundred thousand dollars from one year when - oops! - we somehow didn't pay our pledge, so we're paying that back $10,000 a year until we're solvent again.

The bishop, in his State of the Diocese address, said that the majority of congregations in our diocese pledge 10% of their congregational income. He said that wasn't enough and we had to improve.

I have a few questions about this whole 10%, 15%, 19%, 25%, and "50/50 Giving" thing.

First of all, what is the scriptural basis for anything other than 10%? I've been asking that question for almost 25 years and I've never been given an answer.

Yes, 10% is the "minimum standard requirement" we find in scripture. We give more when we can.

St. Paul told the church at Corinth that if you 'sow sparingly, you will reap sparingly", but if you 'sow generously, you will reap generously'. (2 Corinthians 9:6)

Indeed, Jesus said to the rich young man / ruler, "If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me". (Matthew 19:16–30, Mark 10:17–31 and Luke 18:18–30.).

In Luke, it is reported in this way, "When he heard this, he became very sad, because he was a man of great wealth. Jesus looked at him and said, "How hard it is for the rich to enter the kingdom of God! Indeed, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God."

And, he applauded and gave as an example to his disciples the widow's mite who gave everything she had to her name (Mark 12:41-44, Luke 21:1-4).

So it's pretty clear that tithing is a spiritual discipline. It's the habit of a generous heart.

It's also pretty clear that it's 10% or everything.

So, where, exactly, did we get these other percentages?

Beyond the math and theology, there's an issue of leadership. One of the most important lessons I've learned as a leader - besides having authenticity and integrity and honesty - is that consistency is incredibly important if you want to get your "message" across.

One of our daughters reminds me that people in the business of marketing report that a person needs to hear a message seven (7) times before they really "hear" it.

The consistent message of "striving to tithe" is 10%. That's scriptural. We teach people to "strive to tithe". And to "live into the tithe" as a spiritual discipline vs. simply "giving to the church".

Clergy are to model that behavior. We reinforce it every year from the pulpit and in Adult Forums and during Stewardship Season.

And then, without fail, clergy find ourselves sitting around the finance committee - some of us with smart, experienced business people - formulating the budget for the next year, or trying to figure out how to balance the budget we developed, when someone says, "Tell me again about the 10% tithe and why we need to give 19% to the diocese?"

So, we launch into the fact that the 10% is a minimum standard and that "to whom much is given, much is expected" and that this is part of living into the words of the Nicene Creed when we say, "one, holy, catholic and apostolic church".

Someone else says, "I get that, but who decided that 19% was 'beyond minimum' when 19% is actually almost twice the minimum? Why can't we give 11% or 12%?"

Insert awkward smile here which accompanies the awkward response, "Erm....the bishop?"

Someone else says, "I understand the scriptural thing, but that was when the church was the only social service agency in town. Now, there are organizations that do things and care for people in ways that the church can't. And, they do it better. So, is it reasonable to give the church the entire 10%? Why not give 5% to the church and 5% to some of these organizations? Or 6% and 4%? Or........But, 19%? What's up with that?"

Awkward silence fills the room.

"So," another member pipes up, "Where does this 19% go anyway?"

"To support the diocese," we say, relieved to have a concrete answer.

"And, what does the diocese do with it? I mean, what comes back to us? To put it another way, what 'bang' to we get for our 'buck'?"

"Well," we say, "that's the way the world may think of it, but this is not "trickle down Regeanomics" The church is a community. That's the 'catholic' part of what we say in the Nicene Creed. We give so that the diocese can help other churches. And, in turn, the diocese gives to the church at the national (and international) level, which, in turn, supports the Anglican Communion."

"Okay," says someone else, "So, it's like a 'membership fee', but what do we get from the national and international church and the Anglican Communion, except grief about how we do things at the local level? I mean, haven't you been teaching about this nasty thing called 'The Anglican Covenant'? Is this what we get for our 'membership dues'?"

The priest responds by placing a hand on the forehead and silently curses because this was never covered in any of the seminary courses she took.

You see where I'm going with this.

The thing of it is is that people have been listening and they ARE taking tithing and pledging seriously. This is why people are asking such difficult questions. They want to know. They are confused. Because the message has not been consistent.

Frankly, I've never had an answer that met with anyone's satisfaction. Including my own.

I've actually been part of a family conversation about stewardship where the single mom in a scruffy urban congregation handed me her pledge card and said, "I was only able to increase my pledge by $50 this year. I figure that new winter coat I need can wait until next year."

When the total pledges for that congregation didn't reach the amount required by the diocese, the chief financial officer at the time actually said to me, "I don't think you are teaching your congregation about Stewardship."

"Oh,", I said, "actually, they are teaching me. You should come and listen to them. You'd be amazed at what you could learn."

Look, I always thought Herman Cain's "9-9-9" tax plan was seriously flawed but at least it did have its own logic. It was consistent. Apparently, it made a lot of sense to a lot of people.

I'm not proposing that there is a simple answer to the problem of financial support for the church. I'm certainly not espousing simplistic solutions to a complex situation.

I simply think it's time that the church developed a consistent message about Stewardship.

The 'old' system isn't working. You can ask people to "do better" than 10%. You can also expect to get blood out of a turnip but don't be too surprised if all you get it red colored water.

If we ask people to "strive to tithe" and "live into the tithe", then why don't we ask churches and dioceses and The Episcopal Church to do the same? Make the same sacrifices we make? Reduce some diocesan staff? Do without some travel and entertainment expenses? Move diocesan offices out of costly, energy-deficient old buildings and share some space with some inner city churches who'd love the company and benefit some financially?

Why can't we expect dioceses - and, indeed, The Episcopal Church - to "live into the tithe"?

That's a serious question.

I'll expect your answers on my desk - single page, type written, double spaced - by 10 AM tomorrow morning.

Because, I, for one, really need to know.

An Open Letter to Congressman Rohrabacher

2012-01-31T14:06:00.000-05:00

Dear Congressman Rohrabacher,

I happened to catch a rerun of last week's (1/27) episode of "Real Time with Bill Maher" on HBO. You were on the panel along with Mario Batali, Kennedy, and Martin Bashir.

I was listening but not paying close attention to the conversation - honestly, it was so much of what I've been hearing in the Republican debates that, after a while, it just becomes background noise - until it came to the topic of immigration.

I don't have the transcript, but I remember hearing you say, "The children of immigrants are bringing down the level of education in our classrooms. They come here and they don't speak English and they are taking away time from *our* kids [Note: I am quite certain you said "our kids"] which denies our kids the opportunity to learn".

Rep. Dana. Rohrabacher

That's not an exact quote but close enough, as it is said, for government work.

I was shocked and disturbed by your comments because I have always thought of you as one of the more "moderate" Republican Conservatives in the House. Not a Tea Party Republican but a man after Ronald Reagan's own heart, having served as one of his senior speech writers with input into the development of his "trickle-down" economic plan which has come to be known as Reaganomics.

So, I went over to your webpage to learn a bit more about your political positions. I was especially interested in your posture on Immigration. Here's what I found:

Rep. Rohrabacher vigorously opposes any attempt to legalize the status of millions of illegals and continues to support common sense immigration policies that serve the American people first. This year, Rep. Rohrabacher has co-sponsored bills to end birthright citizenship, declare English as the official language, strengthen the E-verify program requiring employers to check the work eligibility of all applicants, and introduced H.R. 1822, the No Health Care Subsidies for Illegal Immigrants Act. Rohrabacher's bill would prevent illegal aliens from receiving health insurance subsidies under the new health care law by requiring proof of citizenship for eligibility.

In light of all that, I was especially intrigued by your term "common sense immigration policies" and wondered what those might be, exactly. Especially those that "serve the American people first".

When I read the June 3, 2010 report in the LA Times about your unannounced visit to a Mexican consul's office which had been established in a restaurant on Catalina Island, I began to understand.

The Mexican consul’s office first offered the photo identification cards to local illegal immigrant workers two years ago, setting up shop for a day in the upscale Catalina Island Country Club restaurant. The matricula cards can be used to establish credit, open bank accounts, buy insurance and apply for government services.

Apparently, after being quoted as saying,“Where you have illegal immigration, crime and drugs are sure to follow," you forced the Consul to move out of the restaurant, as apparently the restaurant did not have federal approval to host the Consul’s operations. The Consul then moved to a nearby church. You followed. Here's that report as published in the LA Times:

At 10 a.m., Rohrabacher and an assistant strode into the church to personally express his concerns, raising eyebrows. Rohrabacher was greeted by Deputy Consul General Juan Carlos Mendoza Sanchez of Los Angeles in the middle of a room where Mexican specialists were typing information into laptop computers from two dozen men and women seeking their services.

But all eyes were on Rohrabacher and Sanchez, who launched into a carefully worded dialogue, expressing strongly opposing opinions.

Standing inches apart, Sanchez told Rohrabacher, “We have a lot of respect for you. At the same time, we have certain responsibilities.”

Rohrabcher responded: “I understand that. But there is a problem in our country; there are too many illegals here.”

“This is not done with any type of belligerency,” Rohrabacher added, referring to his unannounced visit.

“Everyone has their own point of view,” Sanchez said. “We are performing this activity under international law.”

“Well, that will be decided in Washington and Mexico City,” Rohrabacher said.

Photoshopped by The Orange Juice Blog

I would hope this incident has since come to some satisfactory resolve for all parties, but I tend to doubt it.

I write all of this to allow the readers of my blog to have some context in which to understand what I'm about to say to you.

I am one of those "immigrants". No, not Mexican. Portuguese. I grew up in an apartment above my grandparents in a tenement house in Fall River, MA. All the men in my family worked in the factories and mills and all the women worked in the 'sweat shops' which were part of the 'garment industry'.

Our neighborhood was, for all intents and purposes, a little Portuguese village transplanted from Lisbon and the Azores where most people who were my family and neighbors were born. We all spoke Portuguese.

When I went off to school, I could only speak enough English to purchase what my grandmother needed at the local market. There was no Head Start or Kindergarten, so I was excited to be learning my ABCs and 123s.

Except, there were no provisions made for immigrant kids like me, so I began my academic career in a classroom for those with "special educational needs".

To enlarge for easier reading, click on image

We didn't really know much about learning disabilities then, so the fact of the matter is that I was in a classroom with high functioning children who had low IQs. Not low enough to be institutionalized, but high enough for the educational system to be compelled to have to do something with and for them.

My parents were mortified. Horrified. They knew I didn't have a low IQ but the tests I had taken were all in English, so I had failed miserably. Enough to qualify me to be in the class all the other kids called "The Retards". I was embarrassed and confused.

My teacher, a feisty Irish woman named Mrs. Kelliher, looked deep into my eyes and said, "It's okay, honey. You will learn English. I'm going to teach you."

And so, while other kids were learning how to identify colors and stack blocks and wipe off trays and tables in the cafeteria, Mrs. Kelliher taught me English. With her help and the encouragement and support of my parents and family, I did so well that, by the end of the first quarter, I was placed into the 'normal' classroom.

Today, I am a productive citizen of the United States. I am an Episcopal Priest with my doctorate and have done post-doctoral work. I have been gainfully employed since I was 15 and a half years old. I pay taxes, mow the lawn, and do not have chickens in my living room nor goats in my front yard.

Oh, and I vote.

Our six children are all gainfully employed and wonderfully educated. Most are married and have blessed us with five grandchildren, all of whom attend public schools. I have no doubt that they, too, will grow to be productive citizens of the United States of America.

I have made certain that they know the story of how their grandparents came to this country and how they worked hard so that their children and grandchildren and great-grandchildren - and children of all future generations - could enjoy the liberty and justice guaranteed for all in our Constitution.

Here's the thing, Congressman Rohrabacher: We don't have too many "illegal aliens" in this country. We do not have enough Mrs. Kellihers.

We have immigration laws that are unjust, when they're not draconian, and need to be reformed. And, not to "serve the American people first" but which are in service of the principles of "freedom and justice" which are the foundation of American society.

We have too many "good American" small businesses who are only too happy to hire those "illegal aliens" so they don't have to contribute to payroll taxes, social security and Medicare.

We also have too many "good American" big businesses who "outsource" their employment to other countries so they can keep production costs down and profits up and then get special tax breaks because they are in a higher income bracket.

Which is part of the reason our educational system is in trouble and there aren't enough Mrs. Kellihers in classrooms anymore.

And, don't even get me started on the Evil Twin of the debacle of our immigration system: Human Trafficking.

I know these words will probably fall on deaf ears and blind eyes, but I wanted you to know that in your righteous indignation and anger about "illegal aliens" taking educational opportunities from "our kids" and jobs from "the American people," your words fall heavily on my heart.

I know you're not a bad person. I'm sure you love your country and serve it with pride. You've simply and rather conveniently neglected the fact that we are a nation of immigrants.

Except for the First People - the Native Americans - and yes, many of the Mexicans who are part of your constituency, everyone is a foreigner in The United States. Everyone came here from a different place. My grandparents did. Perhaps your grandparents or great-grandparents or great-great grandparents did.

Every single one of those people contributed to making this country what it is today. Indeed, they helped to make us who we are today.

I don't want big government either, Mr. Congressman - especially in terms of Reproductive Rights - but the worst of it is that we pretend like we have an immigration policy, we make coming into the United States without our permission illegal, and then we actually don't enforce it because it benefits big business.

As long as we give tax breaks to big business, we're going to have big government.

It also seems to me that as the American public continues to focus more intensely on illegal immigration and securing the nation's borders, the number of members of the House Immigration Reform Caucus continues to grow as the situation grows worse.

I'd like to see some "common sense immigration policies," too, sir. Ones that serve the American principles first so that the American people can be served.

I urge you to spend some time with some of those "illegal aliens" in your district. No, they don't vote. Yet. But, they want to become American citizens and if you help them, they will vote for you.

Listen to the stories of their lives. Work with local, small businesses as well as large corporations to hire and pay them fairly. Help their children get a good education so they will grow to be contributing, productive citizens of this great country of ours.

It's called The American Dream. For too many, it's become the American Nightmare - for those who are immigrants as well as everyone else in this country.

We can change that.

It takes equal amounts of common sense and compassion.

I don't imagine I've changed your mind, but perhaps I have touched your heart.

Political dogma without compassion is surely the ugliest blight on 'America the Beautiful' which is reaching epidemic proportions in this country.

Along with Terry Waite, the British envoy to the Archbishop of Canterbury who was held captive in Lebanon for four years, I believe, "At the end of the day, love and compassion will win".

I believe that because I have lived it and know it to be true.

If you open your heart, your mind will follow and you'll know it, too.

David Kato: God loves you. God created you. God is on your side.

2012-01-30T15:07:00.000-05:00

Today marks the one year anniversary of the murder of David Kato, Ugandan gay-rights activist.

Kato was 46 years old. His life had been threatened for months. His picture even appeared on the front page of a right-wing Ugandan newspaper which bore the headline: "100 Pictures of Uganda's Top Homos Leak" and "Hang Them: They are After Our Kids".

I wrote about his funeral last year in a piece I titled, "Unbearable Sadness". Indeed, blogger stats report that it's the 5th highest read blog post here at Telling Secrets, with almost 11,000 page views.

I had been deeply moved by a video shown on Rachel Maddow that night which depicted scenes from Kato's funeral. Local town and religious officials said hateful things and tried to disrupt the prayers and attempts to give Kato a dignified, peaceful burial.

I don't think it's an overstatement to say that Kato's death has achieved martyr status in many communities around the world.

Which is why there has been talk at the Creating Change Conference, held this past week in Baltimore, Maryland, to nominate a Queer activist for a Nobel Prize.

According to Jay Michaelson over at Religious Dispatches, there are two leading candidates for consideration: Frank Mugisha and Kasha Jacqueline Nagabesera, two Ugandan LGBT activists who have risked their lives to advance the cause of freedom, in one of the most hostile societal contexts on Earth.

Although he, himself, is heterosexual, I would add the name of Bishop Christopher Senyonjo, Anglican Ugandan bishop who stepped up at Kato's funeral, faced down the angry mob and officiated at the burial service.

He told the mourning LGBT friends of David Kato: "Do not be discouraged. God created you. God loves you. God is on your side".

Bishop Christopher lost his pension and his ability to function in any ecclesiastical way in Uganda as the cost of his discipleship to LGBT Ugandans.

One way to create change in the hearts and minds of people is for an international committee to recognize the work of these activists to bring peace and reconciliation for people who have long been held in the vice grip of the violence inherent in oppression.

It's about time.

I'm sure David Kato did not want to die at age 46. I'm quite certain that no one wants to be bludgeoned to death by a hammer in their own home. I'm also convinced that no one wants to be oppressed or feel the cruel sting of bigotry, prejudice and hatred because their very existence doesn't meet the criteria of those in power and authority to be deemed fully human.

How is his death at the hands of people who had been seized by homophobic rage any different than being killed - or threatened with death or life imprisonment by laws enforced by the State and supported by the Church - because they were Irish or Black South African or the Middle Eastern or Polish or Serbian or.... fill in the blank?

A Nobel Prize would recognize on the international stage that a great injustice is being done. It would recognize and reward those who are actively working to relieve the suffering of a targeted group of people. It would also inspire those around the world who are working to create change and bring about peace and reconciliation.

Most importantly, it will bring a form of judgment against those who create and perpetuate archaic and draconian laws and, perhaps, create some change in some of the most hostile societal contexts on the face of the Earth.

No, it won't bring back David Kato, but it might prevent the deaths of other David Katos in Uganda and around the world. It might provide some measure of protection for LGBT people and encourage young LGBT people that their lives are worth living and not ending in suicide.

It will remind the right wing that sticks and stones can, indeed, break bones and names can not only hurt but kill people. The truth of the matter is that right-wing rhetoric leads to right-wing violence, and not only must it end, but those who perpetuate this violence must be held accountable for it.

A Nobel Prize to an LGBT Activist would be a tribute to the life of David Kato and become his best legacy. It won't make sense of his death, but it may instill some sense into those who hide behind Scripture and The Law while they wield swords (and hammers) of hate.

On the first anniversary of the unbearable sadness of his death, I can't think of a better way to honor his life than to continue his work.

At Kato's funeral, Ugandan Bishop Christopher Senyonjo said,"Do not be discouraged. God created you. God loves you. God is on your side".

I think a Nobel Prize for an LGBT activist is the best way to embody those words.

Don't you?

The risk of being a brick

2012-01-28T15:02:00.000-05:00

The Diocese of Newark, where I am canonically resident, is, at this moment, gathering in Parsippany, NJ at Annual Diocesan Convention.

Last night, Bishop Mark Beckwith gave his convention address. It is a great address. It is both passionate and inspiring. You can read it here.

He begins by telling the story of the Prophet Jeremiah.

The assignment from God to the prophet Jeremiah is a tough one. God asks, no God tells Jeremiah, that he has a prophetic sermon to preach: to “pluck up, tear down, overthrow and destroy – in order to build and plant.”

Bishop Beckwith goes on to say how "a variation of Jeremiah’s dissembling message is just what we have been hearing and seeing for the past several years" - in our economy as well as our educational, religious and social systems.

Yet, the bishop encourages the diocese to "Risk something big for something good."

I'm a risk-taker. I'm no stranger to it. I know it confounds and concerns and yes, annoys, those who have an aversion to risk - especially those who disagree with what I believe to be 'good'.

Oh, I'm sure I've been considered 'abrasive' by some - especially by those who like their women to be pink and soft, sweet and nice and, well, 'good' - by which they mean doing what others expect them to do. You know, like be a 'lady'. Well, that's not going to happen any time soon, so just get over it.

I'd like to think that I've not be reckless. Rather, I'd like to think that I have been thought-full and prayer-full and care-full in my decisions.

Sometimes, those risks were small. Other times, those risks were big. In each decision to take those risks, I was not always certain of the outcome but I was very clear that God was calling me to take that risk for something good.

Whether the outcome has been good or not-so-good, I have found that 'je ne sais quoi' peace that passes human understanding in knowing that God has been with me every step of the way.

I have found comfort in knowing that, even if I didn't get what I want or that things didn't turn out exactly as I wanted them, it changed me and changed others.

Sometimes, we are God's bricks, building a road that brings us and others closer to catching a glimpse of the Realm of God.

This week end, across the miles to the "Left Coast", the good folks at All Saints Episcopal Church in Pasadena, CA are celebrating the 20th Anniversary of the first time their rector, George Regas, presided at the Blessing of the Covenant, this one made between Mark Benson and Philip Straw.

Susan Russell, so-called (by people who disagree with her) the "Archlesbian of the Episcopal Church" writes:

A 1992 editorial in The Living Church wrote of the service : “Undoubtedly similar events have taken place in clandestine circumstances but this is the first known “public” blessing in a prominent parish.”

Well, once again, The Living Church got it wrong. They often do. Mostly because they don't pay attention to things they don't want to see or admit.

Truth is, "public" blessings had been going on all over The Episcopal Church. It's just that this one caught the eye of the secular media. That tends to happen more on the Left Coast which is 'blessed' by the presence of lots of secular media.

Meanwhile, back - way back when - in Jerusalem, tomorrow's appointed Gospel allows us to witness another event of risk-taking. Jesus entered the synagogue in Capernaum and spoke and taught "as one having authority, not as the scribes".

He even healed a man with "unclean spirits" - a Schizophrenic, perhaps? - and everyone was amazed and kept asking, ""What is this? A new teaching - with authority!"

Clearly, Jesus did something good in healing the man with "unclean spirits".

The risk is that he did so without authorization from the local authority.

In doing so, he also attracted the "media" of his day. Mark tells us, "At once his fame began to spread throughout the surrounding region of Galilee."

I'll just bet it did. And, I'll bet the 'living church' of his time didn't get the story right, as well.

Authority is a big issue in the church. In fact, it's huge.

I've told this story before on this blog, but it bears repeating. When I took General Ordination Exams, one of the questions was, "What is the difference between 'the good' and 'the right'?" One of my colleagues had a brilliant - and correct - answer, "God is good," she wrote, "and the bishop is right."

I think the issue of authority is often the biggest stumbling block to church growth. Bishops talk a good line about 'taking risks' but their job description to "guard the faith, unity and discipline of the church" often renders them highly aversed to risk.

Unless, of course, it is a risk which the bishop authorizes because s/he agrees that there is "something good" to be gained from the risk, and "cost-benefit" analysis is something to which s/he is willing to subscribe.

If not, you're on your own, pal. Which, I don't have to tell many of you, is a HUGE risk. It takes a mature, patient, wise and very courageous bishop to support and encourage her/his clergy (or laity) in endeavors which s/he may not see the good to be gained in outweighing the risks to be taken. Or, in an issue which s/he is in sharp disagreement.

It has been my experience that bishops often use the authority of their office in service of their vision. If your vision doesn't happen to fit in with that of the ecclesial authority, well, my experience informs me that you're in for a journey on some very rough baptismal waters.

Just ask George Regas about the fallout he got for blessing the covenant made between two men.

Or, ask the so-called "Philadelphia Eleven" and the "Washington Four" who felt called to priestly ordination even though it wasn't yet "authorized" for women in the Episcopal Church.

Or, ask The Rev. William Wendt who invited Alison Cheek to celebrate at St Stephen's and the Incarnation in Washington, DC., and was later charged, tried and disciplined for violating canons.

Or, The Rev Peter Beebe who invited Alison Cheek and Carter Heyward to celebrate at Christ Church, Oberlin, OH., and was charged and tried for violating canons.

Or, perhaps you might like to have a little chat with Jack Spong about his ordaining Robert Williams as "the first openly gay man" (tosh, of course) in The Episcopal Church and was formally 'disassociated' from his colleagues in the House of Bishops.

If Walter Righter were still with us, you might speak with him about his heresy trial for ordaining Barry Stopfel, another openly gay man, to the priesthood.

All of these people - and many, many more, too numerous to mention here - risked something big for something good. Each one has paid a very dear price because the highest risk they took was not so much the good they were trying to achieve; rather, the something good was also a direct challenge to the institutional authority of the church.

It has ever been thus in the church.

Just look what happened to Jesus.

The thing of it is that the decision about what, exactly, is "something big" is just as important as deciding what, exactly, is the "something good".

What seems a 'no brainer' for some can prove to be a monumental decision for others.

Here's the thing about authority: You have to claim it. Even when someone won't give it to you.

You decide what's right. You decide what's good. You decide what risk you're going to take for God as you know God to be revealed in Christ Jesus, having been guided by the Holy Spirit.

Sometimes, that's a bigger risk than the actual risk itself.

And, the 'something good' it does your soul may be even better than the good you intended.

Sometimes, we are God's bricks, building a road that brings us and others ever closer to catching a glimpse of the Realm of God.

One brick at a time.

Dream a little dream with me

2012-01-27T16:31:00.000-05:00

I'm fascinated by dreams. Always have been. Probably always will.

The unconscious mind is a vast, mostly unexplored space that often comes to life when we are asleep.

One of the most dramatic, life-changing things for me happened when someone I was seeing in therapy charged me with asking "The Dream Maker" to come and visit me when I was asleep at night.

"Ask her to give you an image of yourself doing what it is you think you are supposed to be doing," she said.

Sounds easy, right? Not so.

Well, first of all, I had to admit that there was something - or someone - known as "The Dream Maker". Well, maybe not 'admit' so much as accept the possibility of the existence of such a being who only exists in an unconscious state of mind.

Then, I had to get past my sense of the ridiculous in asking this "Dream Maker" to "visit" with me - while I was asleep.

I mean, it sounds positively batty, doesn't it?

Finally, after having the dream, I had to be willing to wake up, write down my dream, and then share my dream with my therapist so together we might be able to interpret the images and symbols and actions in the dream.

It all seemed fairly daunting - when not flat out ridiculous - but I gave it a try.

At first, nothing happened. For weeks, it seemed, nothing happened.

Or, at least, nothing that I remembered or could report.

"Have you ever had a dream that you liked?" my therapist asked. "Or, one that perhaps you're not so fond of but it comes to you anyway?"

Why, yes, I said.

I have had this recurring dream that I am standing on a very tall building. I think it's in New York City but I can't really be sure. At least, I don't see any familiar landmarks, but it must be because that's the city I associate with very tall buildings. It doesn't seem to matter to me in my dream.

I'm standing very close to the edge and I can feel the wind blowing on my face and through my hair. I am not afraid of heights, but I don't especially like them. And yet, in my dreams, I'm without any anxiety or concern or fear.

I don't know what I'm doing there, up so high on that very tall building, but I know that I'm supposed to be there. I'm exactly where I ought to be. Of this, I am quite certain. Nothing else seems to matter.

I look down and I can see people on the sidewalk. They look very tiny, but as I move closer to the edge, I can see some of their faces.

A few people have noticed me, up there on the ledge, and they're talking to each other, pointing up at me, letting other passersby know what they see.

I can hear a murmur of concerned voices. Others are nervously giggling and saying derisive things. I step up to the ledge and stretch out my arms like wings. I hear some of them gasp. I am calm and unconcerned.

Slowly, deliberately, I move forward as the crowd gasps. Someone yells with great alarm, "She's going to jump!"

I wait for just the right moment - the right feel of the wind, the beating of my heart, the lightness of my body - and then, I lean forward as I feel my body leave the ledge and begin to fall into the sky.

I am floating gracefully as the crowd gasps, but as I get nearer to them, I pick up my head, lift my arms just so, and begin to soar upwards. I lean to the left and then to the right, gently swooping and soaring before I begin to return to the ledge.

I circle and circle and circle the crowd, to their gasps of concern and applause of delight. Someone says something about calling the police or an ambulance. Still, I soar and swoop and fly.

And then, my dream ends.

I've had this dream many times. Sometimes, I ask the Dream Maker for it to return. I know it is an anxiety dream. Risk-takers often get them. Well, not in this exact form, but the themes are there. I suspect it's one way risk-takers assure ourselves that we're going to be okay.

It's also quite grandiose, isn't it? I don't know how to take a risk without someone criticizing that you've over-stepped your bounds, or that you've got a 'big ego', or that you're selfish in not being concerned about others who care about you and your safety.

And, it's admittedly, unashamedly narcissistic. Then again, all dreams are. Jung said that we are every person in our dreams, and every person in our dreams represents a part of us.

I grew up hearing Cinderella sing, "A dream is a wish your heart makes, when you're fast asleep." Like all little girls, we were carefully taught to dream for our Prince Charming to come and sweep us off our feet and carry us back to the Castle where we would live "happily ever after".

What we learned is that "happily ever after" is a crock. And, we learned that you can't live someone else's dream, much less someone else's idea of what a dream is for you.

What I've also learned is that, if you can dream it or imagine it, you have a better chance of making it happen. In many cases, we do create our own reality - through our dreams.

Indeed, what I've learned is that, if you can see yourself doing something and you believe it, others will see it, too.

It's a very powerful lesson about the power of the unconscious and the power of dreams. As Cinderella sings:

In dreams you will lose your heartaches
Whatever you wish for, you keep
Have faith in your dreams and someday
Your rainbow will come smiling thru
No matter how your heart is grieving
If you keep on believing
the dream that you wish will come true

My grandmother would hear me sing that, twirling around in my stocking feet on her kitchen floor like the princess I dreamed I would be, and she'd harumph, "Wishes don't wash dishes."

She was right, of course.

Wishes and dreams don't happen all by themselves. It takes work - hard work, often, a lifetime of struggle - and sometimes even then, life sometimes seems to conspire to render our dreams foolish for even dreaming them.

Without dreams and wishes, however, life is dull and often seems meaningless. Indeed, without hope, we perish.

In one of the Morning Prayer Suffrages in The Book of Common Prayer, we say,

V. Let not the needy, O Lord, be forgotten
R. Nor the hope of the poor be taken away.

I'm afraid we in the Church have lost touch with the power of dreams.

Indeed, the problem with the Church is not lack of money or resources.

The problem with the Church is that we lack imagination and creativity.

Don't believe me? Here, read Bonnie Anderson, the President of the House of Deputies, and what she had to say as Executive Council convened today.

I believe that the best way to find out what the future looks like is to invest where we know that mission and ministry is already most effective and closest to God’s people.

Let’s reduce the amount that we ask dioceses to send to the Church Center. Let’s study the best use of the building at 815 Second Avenue with an eye to freeing up for mission the $7.7 million dollars that is earmarked for facilities cost and debt repayment during the next triennium. Let’s expect that dioceses and their networks know best how to build up God’s church and support ministry where it is most effective. And as we change the budget, let’s acknowledge that we also need to change our models of accountability and responsibility to be mutual and respectful of the entire people of God, not just those with ecclesial power.

MKL's 'I have a dream' in 'Wordle'.

Mutuality. Respect for the entire people of God.

This is the stuff of the dream of our baptismal vows.

It's time for us to roll up our sleeves and "follow our dreams to reach our goals and follow our goals to reach our dream."

Yes, it's scary stuff. Sort of like jumping off a tall building and expecting to be able to fly.

Edward Teller, a nuclear physicist once said,

When you get to the end of all the light you know and it's time
to step into the darkness of the unknown, faith is knowing
that one of two things shall happen: either you will be given
something solid to stand on,or you will be taught how to fly.

Actually, I think all dreams are little bits and pieces of God's dream in the first place.

Dreams are just an occasional peak into the mind and heart of the divine within each and every one of us. They happen when we're asleep because we couldn't bear the truth of them when we're wide awake.

So, c'mon, church. Have some faith.

Dream a little dream with me.

Who knows? We may just step out on that ledge and, together, learn to fly.

Livin' on a prayer

2012-01-26T09:33:00.002-05:00

krystalane

My children were 'tweens' and teens when the singer Jon Bon Jovi was all the rage.

Frankly, he scared the beejeesus out of me - probably in the same way Elvis and The Beatles rendered my parents apoplectic.

He looked like Jersey Trailer Park Trash - he was born in Perth Amboy, NJ - with that long, scraggly hair, torn, sleeveless T-shirt, tattered jeans, tattoos, and classic Jersey sneer on his face.

And wait. Is he wearing eye makeup?

The girls thought he was "soooOOOOoo cute". He was a 'poser', they said.

The boys wanted to be Jon Bon Jovi.

I wanted him to just shut up, take that wild hair and his ripped abs and buff delts and go away. Besides, in my envy, I always feel there must be something 'inherently disordered' with people who have less than 0% body fat. I mean, get out of the gym! Eat a sandwich!

Here are some of the words to one of the songs that was a favorite:

Once upon a time not so long ago:
Tommy used to work on the docks
union's been on strike

He's down on his luck - It's tough
so tough.
Gina works the diner all day
working for her man

She brings home her pay for love
for love.

She says: We've got to hold on to what we've got
'Cause it doesn't make a difference if we make it or not.
We've got each other and that's a lot for love -
We'll give it a shot.

We're half way there - Livin' on a prayer

Take my hand and we'll make it
I swear - livin' on a prayer.

Oh, I liked the song well enough. Still do. It's always fun to sing at the top of your voice, "Whoooaaah - Oh, Livin' on a prayer," remembering the days when you were doing exactly that while you dance around like a maniac.

The words, however, are so 'teen love' they could almost be described as classic. Traditional, even.

Thinking that 'all you need is love'. All you need is each other. Living in the moment and for the moment. Unrealistic but boundless hope that you'll make it (I swear). Even if you have nothing and the future is uncertain but you're 'livin' on a prayer'.

Those sentiments are not confined by time. Change the words slightly, slow down the tempo, add a tinkling piano and an orchestra and you've got:

"I Can't Give You Anything But Love, Baby" . . . .

Gee, but it's tough to be broke, kid.
It's not a joke, kid, it's a curse.
My luck is changing, it's gotten from
simply rotten to something worse
Who knows, some day I will win too.
I'll begin to reach my prime.
Now though I see what our end is,
All I can spend is just my time.

I can't give you anything but love, baby.
That's the only thing I've plenty of, baby.

....... and...... "Let's Face The Music and Dance".

There may be trouble ahead
But while there's moonlight and music
And love and romance
Let's face the music and dance

Here's the thing: Some of us see the dark underside of these romantic songs.

"Just two kids in love" can look frighteningly unromantic when you have no permanent place to live. Not knowing where your next meal will come from. No health insurance and you become ill or have an accident. Not even a suitcase to schlep your clothes from wherever you are to wherever you may be going, so you use black plastic garbage bags.

And then, if (or when) a baby enters the picture, it's not so romantic anymore.

I've been working with a young couple who are really struggling. In their 20's. They met online. She left her home in the North to be with him in the South. He's in construction. The work dried up after a month. They moved to Delaware in search of a work. He found it, though it didn't last long so he got another job but not in construction. Right after Christmas, his hours went from 30-40 to 16. Per week. At $8.50 per hour.

She got pregnant. They lived with friends - a few weeks here, a few weeks there. She got food stamps. They applied for housing. She had a baby. Two weeks early. By C-section. Now, they need a place to live, no longer able to stay a few weeks with friends here and there. She says she's not afraid to be homeless, but fears "they'll take my baby from me."

Yes, they should have thought of all of these things. Months ago. They didn't. Which happens. More often than we care to think about. They're both adults with the choice to "live on a prayer". But now, there's the baby. Reality has set it and it is often a very rude visitor.

The thing about life in Lower, Slower Delaware is that there are shelters, I've discovered. Shelters for men. Shelters for women. Shelters for women and their children.

There are no shelters for families. Because, you know, the folks in power have "family values" but do not necessarily value families.

Thankfully, a consortium of churches in the Lewes-Rehoboth area have pooled resources to begin a community resource center which provides families with hotel rooms while the family works with the State to find employment and permanent homes. Which can take up to 24 months.

These kids are the very definition of "living on a prayer". Which is often hard to distinguish from "magical thinking". Which is a short hop, skip and a jump from looking positively delusional. Or, opportunistic. Or, manipulative. Or, religious. Or, all of the above.

I've done what I can. Bought pampers and formula and some high protein, basic groceries - cheese, eggs, milk, peanut butter, sliced turkey, ham, bread. Connected them with community services which is working on finding them permanent housing while paying for a hotel room. I paid for a night's say in a hotel before community services kicked in. Helped to do some problem-solving and reality-checking.

I've drawn some pretty clear and firm boundaries: I won't provide transportation. Can't. I won't give them money directly. I am not a source of financial assistance or housing but I will put them in touch with agencies that can provide those services.

Need money to take the bus? It's $2 round trip? Try turning over the coach pillows and search for change. I've gotten as much as $3.00 that way. But, the bus stop is about a mile walk? Thank God the weather has been so mild, right? Check the bus schedule. Bundle up the baby, get out the stroller or, better yet, the snuggli, and leave yourself enough time to pace yourself. Women and their babies have been doing this for centuries.

The question I keep wrestling with is: Where is the boundary between Christian charity and enabling dependent behavior and how will I know when I've crossed it?

I don't have an answer. Yet. I think it just means I evaluate each situation as it arises and deal with it as it comes, continuing to stress the boundaries I have set with each encounter. Let the professionals in the community with resources and knowledge take the lead. Advocate where I can.

The thing of it is that neither of these two young people have a mother. Both have died. I think they look to me for advice and counsel and guidance more than anything else.

But there are times when they try to push the boundaries. Because it's scary. And, everyone wants mommy to just fix it.

Oh, they'll do okay. Eventually. She has a job at a local fast food place. Work will pick up again for him. Oh, there will be issues with child care. Juggling schedules. They'll be okay.

I'm living on that prayer.

Okay, they won't do as well as Jon Bon Jovi who has not only done well, he's doing much good.

His band was declared the second richest band for 2011, behind U2, earning an approximate $125 million income. In addition, Jon Bon Jovi is one of the majority-owners of the Philadelphia Soul, a team playing in the Arena Football League. In 2010, President Barack Obama named Jon Bon Jovi to the White House Council for Community Solutions.

A Democrat, he campaigned for Al Gore in the 2000 Presidential election, John Kerry in the 2004 Presidential election, and Barack Obama in the 2008 Presidential election.

He's also given back to the community, starting something called 'JBJ Kitchen' in Red Bank, NJ, which allows people who are homeless or unemployed to order their food restaurant style and pay whatever ever they can. Or, not.

He's also teamed up with Habitat for Humanity to build homes in NJ cities like Perth Amboy, Red Bank, and Newark that have long been hard-scrabble places.

He married his high school sweetheart, Dorothea Hurley in 1989. Together they have four children. And, look at him now: clean shaven, well dressed, handsome.

Still got the tattoos, no doubt, but no eye makeup. And, look, Ma, no Jersey sneer.

Who knew?

Who ever knows?

Especially when you are livin' on a prayer.

And then, you may just find yourself living your prayer.

And the the question becomes: What will you do with your prayer?

How will you help someone else who is livin' on a prayer?

A luta continua

2012-01-24T14:02:00.000-05:00

Icon written by the Rev'd Dr. Ellen Poisson, OSH

Today's liturgical calendar marks the 68th Anniversary of the ordination of Florence Li-Tim Oi, 李添嬡 , the first woman ordained priest in the Anglican Communion.

Meanwhile, back in the Church of England, the Bishops are busily preparing for a Synod in February in which the issue will be discussed concerning whatever is to be done with these "troublesome" women clerics who feel called to the episcopacy.

The Archbishop of Canterbury and the Archbishop of York have whipped up a batch of what The Guardian's Andrew Brown describes as a "breathtaking" fudge.

The archbishops envisage that the Church of England, once it has female bishops, will continue ordaining men who do not accept these women, finding them jobs they will deign to accept, and promoting some of them to be bishops who will work to ensure the continued supply of male priests who refuse to accept female clergy. In fact, the church will pay three bishops (the formerly "flying" sees of Ebbsfleet, Richborough, and Beverley) to work full time against their female colleagues, and to nourish the resistance.

Of course, the good bishops' proposal will run amok of English employment laws but they are, after all, bishops - nay, verily Archbishops - in the State Religion. And, they are, after all, men who know what is best for the church.

Meanwhile, The Rt Rev’d Wallace Benn, the Suffragan Bishop of Lewes on the south coast of England, has written a recommendation for a book supporting the legalisation of marital rape and accusing the Queen of breaking her Coronation Oath.

I am not making this up.

You can read about it here, but let me give you a taste of this ancient porridge of misogyny.

The book in question, Britain in Sin by well-known fundamentalist Stephen Green of ‘Christian Voice’, accuses the Queen of breaking her Coronation Oath by signing into law 57 pieces of what Green describes as ‘unrighteous legislation’ which he claims offend Biblical principles. These include the Criminal Justice Act 1994, which introduced the offence of marital rape. ...... Green claims that “the marriage service of the Book of Common Prayer” establishes “a binding consent to sexual intercourse” and a married woman therefore has no right to refuse unwanted sexual advances from her husband. The book also criticises the 1970 decision to abolish a man’s right to petition a court for “the restoration of conjugal rights”.

Green also supports the economic exploitation of women, describing the Equal Pay Act 1970 and Sex Discrimination Acts 1975 & 1986 as unbiblical. Concering women in the workplace, Green says in Britain in Sin “[t]hat mothers should deprive their men-folk of work is a national scandal.”

Benn recommended Green’s book in glowing terms, saying, “This makes interesting and disturbing reading. We desparately need to understand, as a nation, that our Creator knows what is best for us, and to return to His way as the best way to live.”

If I didn't know better, I'd say that someone from Monty Python's Flying Circus has written an episode of Downton Abbey for Lambeth Palace.

Can't you just hear the Archbishop of Canterbury saying one of the Dowager Countess' lines: "Don't they know that no one wants to kiss a girl in black"?

To which the Archbishop of York will respond, "When she marries, her husband will tell her what to think."

The Bishop of Lewes will sigh deeply and say, rather wistfully, "In moments like these it might be good to send her abroad. One can always find an Italian that isn't too picky".

Canon Kenneth Kearon, never too far from the forces of power and authority but never possessing either himself, will appear distressed and, shielding his eyes whilst glancing up to the chandelier, say, “I couldn’t have electricity in my house, I wouldn’t sleep a wink. All those vapors floating about.”

Li-Tim Oi must be rolling in her grave.

Please allow me to share with you some of Li-Tim Oi's story.

Florence Li-Tim Oi was born on May 7, 1907 in Hong Kong, China. At the turn of the century, China was on the brink of dramatic change that would lead, unpredictably, to a highly-charged political revolution.

In the fishing village of Aberdeen, Hong Kong, however, the old way of life persisted as it had for centuries. At that time - as it is today and continues in many countries - baby boys were highly prized. Not so were girls. A bowl of ash could be at hand to smother unwanted new-born girls.

Not so with Li Tim-Oi's father. He gave his infant the name Tim-Oi, “another much beloved girl.”

Mr. Li also did not have any of his daughters’ feet bound like other girls of the educated and landed class, who, for centuries, had their feet bandaged from a very young age to keep the feet small and delicate, and to mark their station in society, as well as to confine and restrict their lives.

He also provided education for his daughters. Tim Oi completed her primary schooling at 14, but pursuing her studies was out of the question.

Her father had to provide for two wives, five sons and three daughters. And while Tim-Oi was a much beloved daughter, the boys had priority when it came to secondary education.

Tim Oi remained dutiful but fervently prayed that she be afforded the same opportunity as her brothers. She reminisced: “I used to pray to my heavenly father: if my father can afford to educate my brothers, perhaps at the end I could go to continue my education as well.”

Her prayers were apparently heard. After all her brothers finished their studies, her father relented. Tim Oi was sent to Hong Kong for secondary schooling at age 21.

Tim Oi and other students from Union Theological College

While a student she joined an Anglican church of Saint Paul. She was also baptized and took the Christian name Florence, because her birth-month, May, is a month of flowers, and for Florence Nightingale whom she admired.

Responding to a call to ordination after she heard a sermon in which the preacher asked, “Here today we have an English lady … who is willing to sacrifice herself for the Chinese church? Is there a Chinese girl who would be willing to the do the same?", she was awarded a scholarship by the Anglican Church and took a four-year course at the Union Theological College in Canton.

During her third year, peace was shattered by war with Japan.

Along with her fellow students, she served the thousands who were wounded and displaced by the incessant Japanese air raids. Li-Tim Oi experienced the horrors of war.

In response to the great need at the time, she was made deacon in 1941, and was given charge of an Anglican congregation in the Portuguese colony of Macao, which was overflowing with refugees from war-torn China.

When a priest could no longer travel from Japanese-occupied territory to preside for her at the Eucharist, Bishop Ronald Hall of Hong Kong asked her to meet him in Free China, where on January 25, 1944 he ordained her a priest in God's one, holy, catholic and apostolic church.

In his mind, Bishop Hall was merely confirming what he and many others witnessed - that Tim-Oi had the gift of priestly ministry.

After World War II, Tim Oi tried to diffuse the controversy surrounding her ordination by surrendering her priest's license, but not her Holy Orders, the knowledge of which carried her through Maoist persecution.

Diaconal ordination with Bishop Mok and her parents

She suffered from the Red Guards who made her cut up her vestments with scissors and humiliated her in many other ways.

The life and work and ministry and witness of Florence Li-Tim-Oi stands as rebuke of the good Archbishops and Bishops and churchmen of the Church of England and institutionalized sexism and misogyny everywhere.

Vocation is something which is heard by an individual, witnessed in her life and validated by the community of faith.

It begins with the individual but ends with an ever-deepening, self-sacrificial journey into the mystery and intimacy of community.

To turn a blind eye to the witness of the Spirit moving and acting in the life of another speaks more to the spiritual and corporal arrogance of those in power than it does of the validity of the person's vocation.

I have to believe there are consequences for the continued practices of injustice in the church and in the world.

Would that every man were like Li-Tim Oi's father and might be able to see the birth of each infant girl-child as a "Tim Oi" - "another much beloved girl" - capable of hearing the call of God to take on the mantle of servant leadership in the church as well as her place in the councils and corridors of institutional power.

A luta continua - "the struggle continues". May we be inspired by the life and witness of Florence Li-Tim Oi as we continue the work of justice for all God's children in the church and in the world.

I hear another conversation between the Archbishops of Canterbury and York, one that mirrors a conversation in one episode of Downton Abbey between Lady Cora and the Lady Grantham:

ABC: “I might send her over to visit my aunt. She could get to know New York.”

ABY: “Oh, I don’t think things are quite that desperate.”

Then again, gentlemen, considering the remarks of the Suffragan Bishop of Lewes, perhaps they are. Perhaps they are.

The story is far from over.

The struggle continues.

Stay tuned.

January 22, 1973

2012-01-22T15:43:00.000-05:00

Norma McCorvey was 21 years old and pregnant with her third child when two young female Texas lawyers recruited her to be "Jane Roe," the lead plaintiff in the Roe v. Wade class-action lawsuit. The "Wade" was Henry Wade, the District Attorney in Dallas County, charged with upholding Texas state law.

McCorvey never had an abortion, delivering a girl that she gave up for adoption. But the landmark decision she championed proved a critical - but far from final - chapter in the great abortion debate.

On January 22, 1973, the Supreme Court declared unconstitutional, by a 7-2 vote, a Texas law prohibiting abortion except for the purpose of saving a woman's life.

What the Supreme Court said, in simple terms, is that women have a constitutional right to privacy to make decisions about whether to have an abortion. Because this decision involves moral as well as medical considerations, the Court ruled, a woman has the right to consider her personal circumstances and the dictates of her conscience.

"Abortion raises moral and spiritual questions over which honorable persons can disagree sincerely and profoundly. But those disagreements did not then and do not now relieve us of our duty to apply the Constitution faithfully," said Associate Justice Harry Blackmun in the majority opinion.

Honorable persons - as well as nefarious scoundrels dressed in religious garb - have, in fact, disagreed both "sincerely and profoundly".

For the past year, zealots in Congress and state legislatures – many of whom preach the sanctity of privacy and freedom from government – have relentlessly waged a vicious war on women’s access to health care.

"Family values" they call it - a term they like to pull out and apply 'liberally' (/sarcasm) in opposition to everything from Reproductive Rights to Marriage Equality.

Can you say, "hypocrite"?

More than 1,000 bills were introduced in state legislatures, including the Ohio “heartbeat” bill banning abortion after the 6th or 7th week of gestation, and numerous bills requiring pregnant women to have ultrasounds.

In 2011, ninety-two (92!!!!) anti-abortion provisions were enacted – the most in any year since Roe v. Wade was decided!

In the U.S. House of Representatives, radical and repressive legislation was introduced, including the “Protect Life Act” which would allow hospitals to let a pregnant woman die rather than provide her services (see also 'hypocrite' above)

Lawmakers also launched a full-scale effort to defund clinics that provide reproductive health services, including Planned Parenthood clinics, where thousands of low-income women and children benefit from health programs on contraception, sexually transmitted diseases and more.

HHS Secretary Kathleen Sebelius overruled a scientific panel and rejected broader accessibility of emergency contraception on store shelves.

It is not a coincidence that these efforts come at a time when there is a Black man in the White House, and an 'uppity' former First Lady as Secretary of State.

But there were victories last year, too.

Voters in Mississippi defeated by 55% to 45% a personhood amendment that would have conferred legal rights at the moment of fertilization.

The governor of Kentucky refused to permit the merger of a publicly-funded institution with a Catholic health group that would have restricted abortion (even to save a woman’s life), sterilization, contraception and emergency contraception.

Just two days ago, HHS Secretary Sebelius eased our worst fears by reaffirming contraceptive services without co-pays or deductibles in new healthcare legislation, and permitting only a narrow exemption for religious employers.

Like the struggle for Civil Rights for People of Color, sexuality and gender-identity, the fieriest battles are on religious fronts.

People have often used scripture as the rationale for their prejudice, bigotry and oppression.

Proponents of "natural law" point to The Bible as the reason that "the way we were" is good enough for "the way it ought to be".

Read: 'Man on top' as the metaphor for the structure of society wherein everyone who isn't White, male, heterosexual and well-monied is in control of everything.

It boggles my mind that there are women - many, many women around the country - who support this position. My only response is to say that either these women don't understand their own potential or, if they do, they have consigned themselves to be underachievers.

Which is their right and their choice. I would never deny them that.

I would only ask for the same right and the same choices for myself and my sisters and our daughters and granddaughters who think differently.

Actually, I'm not asking. I'm insisting on a right that is mine - and, all women - and guaranteed in the Constitution of the United States.

In the 39 years since Roe v. Wade, many things have changed. Many more options are opened to women than have ever been previously available.

Many on 'The Right" are crying, "I want my country back."

Well, as Bill Mahr says, I want my country forward.

Let's use the observance of the 39th Anniversary of Roe v. Wade to renew our commitment to keeping information about human sexuality as well as early intervention and prevention of pregnancy widely available to women.

Let's try to reduce the number of abortions by reducing the factors that contribute to the reasons women choose abortion, which include but are not limited to poverty, poor education, and inaccessibility to affordable health care.

And, yes, let's keep abortion safe, legal and free from moral scrutiny and religious judgment and government interference.

It's been 39 years since Roe v. Wade. It's time to move the political, religious and cultural battleground somewhere other than a woman's body.

Like, let's say, Congress. Or, the Vatican.

Neither of which I trust with either a choice or a child.

A New Norm of Greatness for the End Time

2012-01-21T15:03:00.000-05:00

Painting by HiQi

I've been reading over tomorrow's lectionary texts for the Third Sunday after The Epiphany.

It's the 'end time' for Jonah in Nineveh (3:1-5, 10) as well as for Paul in Corinth (1 Corinthians 7:29-31).

In tomorrow morning's Gospel (Mark 1:14-20), Jesus says, "The time is fulfilled, and the kingdom of God has come near; repent, and believe in the good news."

And then, he calls two more disciples: Simon and Andrew and James and John.

Last week, we heard him call Philip and Nathaneal.

I'm struck, once again, by the choices Jesus makes in calling some of The Twelve.

Well, all of them, actually.

Maybe because the end was, in fact, near, and pickin's were slim, but consider His choices:

Peter had a tendency to speak before thinking…

James & John had quick tempers… (Jesus nicknamed them Sons of Thunder - Mark 3:17)

Simon (the other one) was affiliated with a known terrorist group… (the Zealots were a pro-Israel terrorist group who attacked the Romans)

Matthew had a bad reputation as a tax cheat (and he was collecting the taxes)…

Thomas had, shall we say, "faith issues…"

They were uneducated, unsophisticated, and untalented.

The only possible exception is a fellow named Judas Iscariot.

I'm reminded of a little letter I found in my files the other day. I first found it when I was a member of the Commission on Ministry and used to use it when working as a consultant with Search Committees.

I suspect I'll have occasion to use it again, soon.

It's a little something from from Greg Ogden, in his book "Transforming Discipleship: Making Disciples a Few at a Time."

Jesus, Son of Joseph

Carpenter Shop

Nazareth

Dear Sir:

Thank you for submitting the resumes of the 12 men you have picked for management positions in your new organization. All of them have now taken our battery of tests; we have not only run the results through our computer, but also arranged personal interviews for each of them with our psychologist and vocational aptitude consultant.

It is the staff opinion that most of your nominees are lacking in background, education, and vocational aptitude for the type of enterprise you are undertaking.

They do not have the team" concept.

We would recommend that you continue your search for persons of experience in managerial ability and proven capability.

Simon Peter is emotionally unstable and given to fits of temper.

Andrew has absolutely no qualities of leadership.

The two brothers, James and John, the sons of Zebedee, place personal interest above company loyalty.

Thomas demonstrates a questioning attitude that would tend to undermine morale.

We feel that it is our duty to tell you that Matthew has been blacklisted by the Greater Jerusalem Better Business Bureau.

James, the son of Alphaeus, and Thaddaeus definitely have radical leanings. They registered a high score on the manic depressive scale.

One of the candidates, however, shows great potential. He is a man of ability and resourcefulness, meets people well, has a keen business mind and has contacts in high places. He is highly motivated, ambitious, and responsible. We recommend Judas Iscariot as your controller and right-hand man.

All of the other profiles are self-explanatory.

We wish you every success in your new Venture.

Sincerely yours,

Jordan Management Consultants

Hear me, now: This is not an argument for serving up yet another helping of mediocrity in the church's leadership.

I'm simply shaking my head at the choices Jesus made in selecting The Twelve and wondering, yet again, why He called the people he calls.

Then again, God called Jonah - a reluctant prophet if ever there was one - to deliver a message to Nineveh. Even so, he was successful.....

"And the people of Nineveh believed God; they proclaimed a fast, and everyone, great and small, put on sackcloth. When God saw what they did, how they turned from their evil ways, God changed his mind about the calamity that he had said he would bring upon them; and he did not do it."

......but Jonah was not pleased and sulked under a withering Fig Tree.

And, somehow - for whatever reason - after his death and resurrection, Jesus called Paul who had been actively persecuting the Jews - and especially the new followers of the man named Jesus.

Maybe that's why he had a penchant for overstating his case and being just a tad obtuse:

I mean, brothers and sisters, the appointed time has grown short; from now on, let even those who have wives be as though they had none, and those who mourn as though they were not mourning, and those who rejoice as though they were not rejoicing, and those who buy as though they had no possessions, and those who deal with the world as though they had no dealings with it. For the present form of this world is passing away.

"The appointed time" is always short.

"The present form of this world" is always "passing away".

Thanks be to God.

The only constant is change.

I keep hearing that wonderful quote from Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Jesus gave us a new norm of greatness. If you want to be important, wonderful. If you want to be recognized, wonderful. If you want to be great, wonderful. But recognize that he who is greatest among you shall be your servant. That's your new definition of greatness. And this morning, the thing that I like about it, by giving that definition of greatness, it means that everybody can be great. Because everybody can serve. You don't have to have a college degree to serve. You don't have to make your subject and your verb agree to serve. You don't have to know about Plato and Aristotle to serve. You don't have to know Einstein's theory of relativity to serve. You don't have to know the second theory of thermodynamics in physics to serve. You only need a heart full of grace. A soul generated by love. And you can be that servant.

I think that's the message Jesus was giving us in the calling of The Twelve.

I would add, "You don't need to be ordained in order to serve."

And Jesus said to them, "Follow me and I will make you fish for people."

Sounds so easy, doesn't it?

So, what are you waiting for?

Drop your nets - or, pick 'em up - and follow Jesus.

Just be sure to fasten your seat belts and make certain your crash helmet is on your head, securely strapped under your chin.

This Jesus-guy will turn your life upside down - especially with his 'new norm of greatness'.

That's a promise.

And, a warning.

"The time is fulfilled, and the kingdom of God has come near; repent, and believe in the good news."

Finding the Messiah

2012-01-20T13:00:00.000-05:00

As the election year grinds its way forward, one is either completely aghast or thoroughly amused by the Republican nomination process.

As Agent J in "Men in Black" said, "This definitely rates about a nine-point-oh on my weird-shit-o-meter".

I read a quote somewhere that President Obama, in response to a question about his re-election campaign strategy, said, "Perhaps we'll just run transcripts of the Republican debates."

Democrats would be too quick to snicker.

I remember - oh, way back to 2004 - when "The Democratic Johns" -John "Swift Boat" Kerry and John "The NC Scoundrel" Edwards - ran for election and lost to Dubya and The Dick?

I know it's painful, but remember when the Democrats were in the driver's seat of the Political Clown Car? You know your election process is in the crapper when there are two Johns in the lead.

In 2008, the Democrats bested the Republicans by beating them at their own religiously-based political game.

We ran the Messiah.

I cringed then and I cringe now at the thought that one man could be the savior of The Democratic party in particular and the abysmal state of this country in general.

"Change we can believe in" and "Yes We Can" were two of Obama's campaign slogans.

We read the "we" and substituted "he".

Even Obama himself was uncomfortable with that slogan and said, "I’m asking you to believe. Not just in my ability to bring about real change in Washington . I'm asking you to believe in yours."

"We are the ones we've been waiting for," he said.

Still, we didn't listen. Or, we heard what we wanted to hear.

We don't listen today. Many are 'disappointed" with the President. They feel betrayed. He didn't 'save' us like he promised. Note: That was never a campaign promise. Salvation was not the issue. Change - and hope for change - was.

Granted, there has not been enough change for my taste, but after 26 years of activism, mostly in the church, I have a much better understanding of the political process.

Change is the thing we say we want most but resist best.

Many young people who voted for Obama in 2008 say they aren't going to vote for him in 2012. They say they may even vote for a Republican. Ron Paul is, apparently, the new hero for many in the younger generation.

Which makes my head spin.

As Stephen Colbert said, "Yes, Obama duped young people by not doing every single thing they want. So now, they’ll all vote Republican. It’s like when I want some bread, I won’t settle for half a loaf. Instead, I will have a muffin made of broken glass".

Barack Obama is neither the Messiah nor the Anti-Christ. Neither is Ron Paul.

They are politicians, people. Get a grip!

Rabbi and author Harold Kushner retells a story in his book, “Living a Life that Matters.” It’s a legend about a young boy who receives a bar mitzvah gift of a beautiful scarf that he uses as a prayer shawl; it’s a gift that he absolutely cherishes and treats as sacred.

One day, when the boy passes a beggar in the street who is dressed in rags, he recalls the ancient teaching that the Messiah will appear on earth as an outcast and stranger, waiting for “someone to recognize him and reach out to him, at which point he will reveal himself and redeem the world from sickness and misery.”

The boy gives away his prized possession, so that the beggar has something with which to wrap up his bare and bleeding feet; the boy is hoping, of course, that the beggar is the Messiah, and that he will have helped usher in the age of redemption.

As it turns out, though, the beggar is not the Messiah, just a person grateful for the care from another human being.

Rabbi Kushner preached about the legend at his own son’s bar mitzvah, and offered this interpretation:

“…no matter how much we would like to, we can’t bring the Messiah and solve the world’s problems. Nor can we bring the Messiah for ourselves and solve our own problems.

But maybe we can bring the Messiah for someone else. We can be the supporting actor who gives someone else’s life story a happy ending, and we can hope that someone will come along and do the same for us.”

I've always loved this story, because it has many applications for the human condition. I think it speaks quite well to our present political climate.

I think it's important to see ourselves as "supporting actors" in this life who try to give someone else's life story a happy ending.

I think it's also important to elect public officials who can, to the best of their ability, work to give our life story a happier ending than we could imagine right now - for ourselves and for our children and our children's children.

Let's not be distracted by the media circus which is leading us up the the "Deal-breaker" primary in South Carolina.

We need to stay focused on the issues as well as our own personal responsibility in our own lives and the quality of life of this nation.

Democracy is not a spectator sport.

Get involved.

For Christians, there is only one Messiah.

Note to Ron Paul: Jesus was a Jew. Remember?

We are the ones we have been waiting for.

The sooner we learn and understand that, the healthier our lives will be.

WoW: News from the front

2012-01-19T14:01:00.001-05:00

Two pieces of news crossed my laptop screen this morning.

MSNBC is reporting on the law suit brought by fourteen current and former members of the U.S. military on Tuesday which charged that the Pentagon turned a blind eye when they reported being sexually harassed, assaulted and raped by fellow service members while on active duty.

MSNBC reports that it is more likely for a woman serving our country in the Armed Forces to be raped than to be attacked in the line of duty.

They're calling it "The Invisible War". Last year there were 3,191 rapes reported in the military but the Pentagon itself estimates that there were actually a total of over 19,000 rapes.

Only eight percent of these reported rapes were prosecuted with an abysmal 2% conviction rate.

Here's one story of one woman who is breaking the code of silence about this despicable behavior:

Mary Gallagher, a former sergeant in the Air National Guard, says that within weeks of being deployed to an air base outside of Baghdad in 2009 she was brutally assaulted by a fellow sergeant who burst into the ladies' room, pushed her up against the wall, pulled her pants and underwear down and ground his genitals against her, talking the whole time how much he was enjoying it.

"I thought he was going to kill me that night," Gallagher told NBC in an interview. "I felt completely isolated and alone and really scared. Here I was, in the middle of a foreign country in the middle of a war."

When she reported the attack, she says her commander’s only response was to reassign her assailant and tell her "this stuff happens."

If that doesn't make you ill, here's another story:

Rebekah Havrilla, a former Army sergeant who served as the only female member of a bomb squad in eastern Afghanistan, said she was attacked by a colleague at Salermo Forward Operating Base near the Pakistani border on her last day in the country in 2007.

"He pushed me down on the bed and used his body weight to hold me down and proceeded to rape me," she said in an interview. While holding her down with one arm, her fellow U.S. Army sergeant took photographs of her, she said. She was later horrified to discover the photographs had been posted on a pornographic website, she said.

None of the alleged attackers named in the lawsuit was reported to have been convicted. In most cases, the charges were either never pursued or dropped.

In one case, an Army officer who denied one of the alleged sexual assaults was charged with "lying on a sworn statement." In another, an Air Force serviceman who was alleged to have broken into the room of a female coworker at 3 a.m. at Nellis Air Force Base was charged in a court-martial, but on the eve of his trial got off when a a new commander came in and ordered the charges dropped. The alleged rapist was later given an "Airman of the Quarter" award and his accuser transferred to another base.

Anyone got any questions about whether or not the War on Women is real?

Okay, here's the second item to come across my laptop screen.

First, the good news: A global analysis by the Guttmacher Institute and the World Health Organization indicate that, after a period of significant decline in the global abortion rate as a whole, researchers found that those numbers had begun to plateau.

"The stall in the abortion rate coincides with a plateau in the level of contraceptive use, which had been increasing in prior years," said Dr. Gilda Sedgh, lead author of the study and senior researcher at the Guttmacher Institute in New York. "Before the abortion rate stalled, it was declining, and contraceptive use was increasing.

Now, the bad news: Unsafe abortions are on the rise across the world. Researchers defined unsafe abortion according to the WHO description when analyzing data. The WHO considers an abortion unsafe when a procedure for terminating pregnancy is performed by a person who is lacking the necessary skills or in an environment that does not conform to minimal medical standards.
The report continues:

While almost all reported abortions were deemed safe in North America and Europe, nearly all abortions (97 percent) in Africa were considered unsafe in 2008. Nearly all abortions were performed under safe conditions in East Asia, but 65 percent were considered unsafe across south central Asia.

Over the past three decades, about 20 percent of all pregnancies around the world have ended in abortion, according to the research.

"What we clearly know is that making abortion less available does not make it performed less often," said Dr. Lauren Streicher, assistant clinical professor of obstetrics and gynecology at Northwestern University Feinberg School of Medicine. "It's just more unsafe. Condemning abortion is a cruel and failed strategy."

Even in the U.S., where abortion is currently legal, Streicher said access can be limited based on someone's insurance plan and where they live.

"Fifty percent of undesired pregnancies are due to failed contraception," said Streicher. "Of those unplanned pregnancies, 50 percent resolve in abortion, so the need for abortion is always going to be there. By criminalizing it, you're just increasing the amount of women who have poor and dangerous outcomes.

I'm waiting for some state to introduce the concept of capital punishment for any woman who has had an abortion. Now, that would be a "cruel and failed strategy" - but when has that stopped the Tea Party fanatics?

Overstating my case? If more Tea Party candidates get elected in November, watch for it in a southern state close to you.

I'm not writing this to be an alarmist. I'm writing to be an informant.

We have a little over 10 months to the next election process, including the election of the next President of the United States.

An informed electorate is comprised of people who will check to be sure where each candidate is on the important issues. I mean, besides employment and the economy.

And, the War on Women may be invisible, but it's real.

Very real.

War on Women

2012-01-18T09:07:00.001-05:00

Oh, I know what you're thinking.

It's just a little hyperbole from 'what's left of the Left'.

An over-reaction by women who are....you know....well....'emotional'.

The so-called 'War on Women' is a bit of an overstatement, isn't it?

Why, no, actually. No, it isn't.

Incidences of domestic violence are on the rise all over the world. Human trafficking - especially of women in the sex trade - goes on unabated. Girl children do not receive the same education as boy children in many countries around the globe.

And here, in this country, two powerful forces have combined to restrict and erode the Reproductive Rights of Women: The Republican Party and The U.S.Conference of Catholic Bishops.

Over the past two years the GOP-controlled House of Representatives has launched one of the most extreme assaults on women's choice the U.S. has seen in decades.

Republicans voted twice to slash federal family planning funds for low-income women, moved to prevent women from using their own money to buy insurance plans that cover abortion, introduced legislation that would force women to have ultrasounds before receiving an abortion and, most recently, passed a bill that will allow hospitals to refuse to perform emergency abortions for women with life-threatening pregnancy complications.

But the erosion of women's rights didn't begin with the GOP takeover. President Barack Obama's health care reform law contained some of the most restrictive abortion language seen in decades.

While the bishops have always been vocal on the issue of choice, they have emerged since the 2009 health care reform debate as one of the most powerful anti-abortion advocates on Capitol Hill.

Now, they are stepping up their attack on women's choice with a new, high-intensity campaign aimed at the latest front in the national anti-abortion battle: birth control. There is growing concern that they might have just enough sway over lawmakers to succeed.

I share that deep concern which is why I am delighted to let you know about my recent election to the National Board of the Religious Coalition for Reproductive Choice (RCRC) for a three-year term.

RCRC is a coalition of religious leaders - lay and ordained - representing over 40 denominations and faith groups. I will join John Vanderstar, who serves on the Strategic Planning Committee and has represented the Episcopal Women's Caucus for many years on that board, as the only two Episcopalians on the Board.

For the past four years, I have served as national convener of the Episcopal Women’s Caucus and past president of the New Jersey chapter of RCRC. I have participated in and coordinated training sessions for “A Peaceful Presence” at several outpatient clinics in Northern New Jersey and participated in the state chapter’s lobbying efforts in Trenton and Washington, D.C.

Episcopal News Service ran a story about my election. You can find it here.

In it, I am quoted as saying,

“I believe that the ‘war on women’ is real. Reproductive rights — from education to prevention and early intervention — are being eroded by the very people who say they believe in God and Jesus as well as ‘smaller government,’” Kaeton said via e-mail. “The work and voices of RCRC have never been more important. I am excited and honored to join this stellar board. My sleeves are rolled up, and my running shoes are on.”

I'm writing this as fair warning. Not only will you be hearing more about this important issue of growing concern, I will be enlisting your help to get the word out about the various marvelous programs being sponsored and coordinated by RCRC.

The War on Women is real. It's being waged in a legislative session - or Roman Catholic or Evangelical Church - near you.

I don't like the war-imagery either but we are fools if we don't arm ourselves with information and education. We must use the weapons of our hearts and minds and voices to work against this silent, stealth assault on women.

Go over to the RCRC web pages and check out where your denomination stands on Reproductive Rights. Learn how to be in touch with your law makers. Discover some of the wonderful educational programs that are available for your congregation.

Stay tuned for 'Messages from The Front' of the battle.

I'm going up to the front lines in DC.

I'm glad to know you've got my back.

Anxiety and Apathy

2012-01-17T15:21:00.001-05:00

I sometimes wonder if there's an ecclesiastical version of Xanax I could slip into the communion wine in some diocesan Eucharistic services.

Just a little something to lower the diocesan anxiety level just a tad so that we might raise the resulting level of apathy in the pews.

Anxiety and apathy are old friends. They walk together and feed off each other.

It's not that bishops and diocesan staff don't have a reason to be anxious. I've been reading some diocesan reports and resolutions in preparation for diocesan conventions ('Tis the season) and while it appears that some churches are inching up their diocesan pledge by point two or three (0.2-03) or even 0.5 percentage points, the actual dollar amount is less than the year before (and the year before that) because the congregational budget has been cut.

This is obviously not good news for diocesan administrations who are trying to do all the things they used to do - and more - with less.

And yet, the cheerful spin is relentlessly, anxiously cheerful.

Oh, look how much money we gave away to these organizations! Oh, look at what the bishop said about this Highly Relevant cultural issue! Oh, look at all the pictures of all the young people of color acolyting at the diocesan event!

That's because, at least in part, diocesan communications staff are being hired to "sell the diocesan brand" rather than communicating diocesan news.

Which, of course, is because if the diocese were actually to print "The News", everyone would collapse into a state of anxiety and then slip into a near comatose state of apathy.

In more than a few dioceses I know, the theme of diocesan convention is about mission. Of course. It's the current rage, you know. All the cool Christians are doing it.

What's fascinating to me is that one bishop - Himself and in print - admits that he doesn't know how to define mission. Says we need to clarify what we mean by mission. Says that it must be defined by congregations in their own particular location.

Well, here's the thing: We do have a definition of mission. It's intentionally - and, for some, frustratingly - broad: "The mission of the church is to restore all people to unity with God and each other in Christ".

There are some other helpful explanations that continue on page 855 of the BCP

Q: How does the Church pursue its mission?
A: The Church pursues its mission as it prays and worships, proclaims the Gospel, and promotes justice, peace and love.

Q: Through whom does the Church carry out its mission?
A: The Church carries out its mission through the ministry of all its members.

See? It's not so much that mission needs to be *defined* by congregations in their own particular location, it's that mission needs to be lived out in the particulars of the realities of their location.

Everything....*everything* - liturgy, music, pastoral care, and reaching out beyond the borders of the church - needs to be done in service of the restoration of the unity of God's people with God and each other in Christ.

So, for example, a church that says that it "welcomes absolutely everybody" but does not provide a good sound system for those who are hearing impaired or a wheelchair ramp or elevator for those who are physically impaired, or a worship service for their Hispanic or Asian neighbors in their own language or style is not fully living into the mission of the church.

Or, a church that provides maximum access into the church building and inclusion in their worship services but do not provide something - *anything* - to meet the corporal needs of their community - especially in terms of promoting "justice, peace and love" - is not fully living into the mission of the church.

And, I'm not talking about just throwing money at organizations who do these things, or depleting the rector's discretionary fund to help pay utilities or the rent - as important as that is (and it is increasingly important these days).

I'm talking about the 'sweat equity' of "all the members of the church" in actually making sandwiches or providing warm blankets or coats and maybe even distributing them at the local shelter.

Or, how about organizing a team of members to assist at a shelter a few nights a month? Or, working with Habitat for Humanity in building or remodeling or repairing a home? Or, helping to organize a bible study at the local jail or prison (and don't tell me there isn't one within less than 30 minutes from your church). Or, assisting or - how about this? - even hosting an ESL project in the Parish Hall?

I know one church that jokingly says that their unofficial mission statement is, "Hey, ya gotta eat."

They have a Sunday morning breakfast between services. Their coffee hours are amazing. Every special event features great food afterwards.

Last year, they raised a little in excess of $124,000 for the mission of the church and gave it all away. And, of course, they feed people the spiritual nourishment of Word and Sacrament every Sunday and once during the week at a Healing Eucharist.

It should not be a surprise, then, when I tell you that, last Sunday, the church was so full they ran out of bulletins. Pledges are up significantly this year - in this economy! There is, at this point, a 5% increase in new pledges. Their Youth Group is now double the size it was two years ago.

This is a church that is very clear about its mission - even if they don't have a snappy mission statement and the one they have is a little joke. It works.

I have seen a few advertisement for other churches and, at the bottom, it said,

"St. Swithens Church: We help people help themselves."

Another one said, simply: "St. Agatha's Church: We feed people."

A third said, "Holy Trinity Church: Inter-generational, International, Involved".

A fourth said, "St. James Church: Where everybody can be somebody."

This is not rocket science, people.

Indeed, it's downright biblical.

The Book of Acts is a study guide in how to live together in Christian community. The Pauline Epistles give us another glimpse into how the ancient church formed itself around the mission of Jesus.

The thing of it is that the bishop is the "Chief Missioner" of the diocese. The canons don't say that, exactly, but they're pretty clear in the expectation that the bishop will lead the way in mission.

It's the bishop's primary role. Interestingly enough, that's one of the reasons the boundaries around each diocese are so firm and clear. No Shepherd stealing any other Shepherd's sheep. Because, the role of the Shepherd is to care for the sheep - AND - to seek out the lost sheep and bring them into the fold.

S/he can't do that very well if the system is shot through-and-through with his/her anxiety about the finances of the diocese - even if there's good reason for that anxiety.

What inevitably happens when the leadership is anxious is that the base becomes apathetic.

That's biblical, too. "Without a vision, the people perish".

I swear one of these years I'm going to go to General Convention with a button that is circled in red with a red line through it and it will read: "No more nice guys".

I'll also donate a bunch of them to Episcopal Search Committees and Commissions on Ministries.

Don't get me wrong. "Nice people" are fine. Churches are always full of them. And, lots of people who aren't so nice but want you to think they are. Which is why they "appear" in church.

We need leaders. Non-anxious leaders who will see the possibilities and provide guidance and inspiration and - wait for it - support and resources for their ordained and lay leaders in local congregations who are trying - really, really trying - to figure out how to do the mission of the church where God has called them to live and move and have their being.

When congregations and clergy get no support or resource or guidance from "The Chief Missioner" because the level of anxiety is so high it's paralyzing, they fall prey to apathy.

Yes, my tombstone will be engraved with the following words, "They didn't ask me."

Here's what I know that I want you to know before I die - even if you didn't ask:

The focus on and clarity of mission is the best ecclesiastical Xanax I know.

Don't wait for your "Chief Missioner". Decide on the one thing - just one thing - you can do right where you are and do that. Then, look for other people to join you in doing that one thing - or a variation on whatever it is that helps to" restore all people to unity with God and each other in Christ."

Because, hey, everybody's gotta do something while we wait for Christ to return.

Wait! Here's a thought: Maybe He already has. Maybe He's here already. Walking among us. Disguised as a person hungry for food or affection, or imprisoned by addiction, or enslaved by poverty.

Hey, maybe it's the Body of Christ that is besieged by anxiety or near comatose with apathy and needs ministering to before it can minister to others.

Quick! Everybody! Get busy! There's lots of work to be done!

And, Jesus is watching.

MLK, Jr: Chaos or Community?

2012-01-16T14:24:00.002-05:00

I can not think of Martin Luther King, Jr., without thinking of "I have a Dream" speech. It was a moving, riveting speech - one that will continue to cry "Justice" and "Freedom" from the dusty pages of the history books that line the library shelves across this country and around the world.

I can not think of that speech, however, without thinking of what happened, a little over two weeks later, in the 16th Street Baptist Church in Birmingham, Alabama.

It was Youth Sunday and nearly thirty young Black children were sitting in the basement, waiting to be called upstairs for a special service after the sermon. There were estimated to be about 400 people in church that morning.

The title of that sermon was "The Love That Forgives" - something that would, within the next few minutes of impending calamity and tragedy that followed a heinous crime, appear poignant, ironic or prophetic - or, all three.

The evening before the morning service a group of Klansmen placed over one hundred sticks of dynamite outside the church building. At about 10:22 a.m., the explosives detonated.

Four little girls were killed in the blast and dozens sustained serious injury. Two more youths were shot and killed in the rioting later that night.

The Washington Post reported that:

"Dozens of survivors, their faces dripping blood from the glass that flew out of the church's stained glass windows, staggered around the building in a cloud of white dust raised by the explosion. The blast crushed two nearby cars like toys and blew out windows blocks away.

Negroes stoned cars in other sections of Birmingham and police exchanged shots with a Negro firing wild shotgun blasts two blocks from the church. It took officers two hours to disperse the screaming, surging crowd of 2,000 Negroes who ran to the church at the sound of the blast.

At least 20 persons were hurt badly enough by the blast to be treated at hospitals. Many more, cut and bruised by flying debris, were treated privately.

Meanwhile, NAACP Executive Secretary Roy Wilkins wired President Kennedy that unless the Federal Government offers more than "picayune and piecemeal aid against this type of bestiality" Negroes will "employ such methods as our desperation may dictate in defense of the lives of our people."

Reinforced police units patrolled the city and 500 battle-dressed National Guardsmen stood by at an armory.

City police shot a 16-year-old Negro (Johnny Robinson) to death when he refused to heed their commands to halt after they caught him stoning cars. A 13-year-old Negro boy (Virgil Ware) was shot and killed as he rode his bicycle in a suburban area north of the city."

The impact of the blast destroyed the rear wall and steps of the structure, and blew out all but one of the stained glass windows.

The Washington Post - 1963

The sole surviving window frame featured a stained glass rendering of Jesus leading children, an image all the more poignant given that it was “Youth Day” at the church.

While the frame and structure of the window miraculously survived, the window itself sustained powerful symbolic damage: the face of Jesus had been blown off.

In a gruesome parallel, one of the girls had been decapitated by bricks which fell into the basement room where the children had been.

In his recently published book, "Through the Storm, Through the Night: A History of African American Christianity," author Paul Harvey talks about the eulogy given in late September, 1963, by Dr. King at the funeral of those four little girls.

King suggested that the explosion that took the head of Jesus and the head of one of the girls also would destroy the career of white politicians who had poisoned their constituents with the stale rhetoric of racism. Moreover, it condemned apathetic or fearful black southerners who had stayed on the sidelines during the freedom struggle. Comprehending the death of the four girls meant understanding the entire system, the way of life, which had produced those who had murdered them, and a renewed commitment to make the American dream real for those who had never experienced it.

Carole Boston Weatherford was celebrating her 10th birthday that morning of September 15, 1963. In her book, "Birmingham, 1963" she writes of the more personal components of that day.

The day I turned ten
I rehearsed my Youth Day solo in the full-length mirror.
This little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine.

But Mama allowed my my first sip of coffee
And Daddy twirled me around the kitchen
In my patent-leather cha-cha heels.

The day I turned ten
Someone tucked a bundle of dynamite
Under the church steps, then lit the fuse of hate.

10:22 a.m. The clock stopped, and Jesus’ face
Was blown out of the only stained-glass window
Left standing—the one where He stands at the door.
The Lord is my shepherd, said the pastor on a megaphone.

I am haunted this day when we pause to remember the life and legacy of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., by his dream and the nightmare of four little girls in Birmingham, Alabama.

I think of that stained glass window. The only one left standing after the blast. The one with the face of Jesus blown off.

It's one way for me to put together the words of Dr. King and the poetry of one of the little girls who was there, in the basement of that church.

I visited the 16th Street Baptist Church a few years ago when I was in Birmingham to do a presentation for the Integrity Chapter there.

The window has been restored and resides on the side of the church which had been destroyed by the blast.

As I recall from my tour there, the folks at the church claim that only the eyes of Jesus were blown out.

This, according to my guide - and, admittedly, my memory - was considered highly symbolic because it represented to that faith community that the vision of the Civil Rights Movement had been distorted, the body remained intact.

Somewhere, in the midst of the memory of the nightmare and the vision of Martin's dream, lies the future of the Civil Rights Movement.

Why is that important to me? Well, I'm just a White girl trying to make a difference.

It's important to me because I know that my future - and the future of this country - is directly linked to the future of the Civil Rights Movement.

Dr. King was right. Comprehending the death of the four girls means understanding the entire system, the way of life, which had produced those who had murdered them, and a renewed commitment to make the American dream real for those who had never experienced it.

That includes the dreams of little girls in patent leather cha-cha heels and little boys with stained brown leather baseball gloves - young people of all races and ethnicities - to go on to celebrate future birthdays with all the hopes and dreams that are the bedrock of The American Dream of "freedom and justice for all".

It means comprehending the systemic nature of prejudice and oppression - how it produces and perpetuates the systems of poverty and economic enslavement.

Dr. King's last book was entitled, "Where Do We Go From Here: Chaos or Community?" which contains his speech to the Southern Christian Leadership Conference in 1967. Dr. King commented on the economy and how the poor were viewed:

“Now we realize that dislocations in the market operations of our economy and the prevalence of discrimination thrust people into idleness and bind them in constant or frequent unemployment against their will. Today the poor are less often dismissed, I hope, from our consciences by being branded as inferior or incompetent."

Our goal, our dream - King's Dream, the American Dream - is for all Americans to work together to change the systemic nature of prejudice and oppression as the way to end the racial and economic injustices that are killing us all.

There is another stained glass window in the 16th Street Baptist Church, as well. It sits in the front of the church and was a gift from the people of Wales.

It depicts a black man, seemingly in a crucifix shape, with one hand turned away and one hand open to the sky. The turned hand is pushing away prejudice, hate, and discrimination while the open hand represents repentance and forgiveness. The rainbow behind his head shows the harmony and peace that can be achieved with people of all races, ethnicities and creeds.

The face of Jesus was permanently altered the day the 16th Street Baptist Church was bombed.

On this day, when we remember the life and legacy of the Rev'd Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., may our vision of The Beloved Community of Jesus be renewed and revitalized.

Dr. King reminded us that "we are tied together in the single garment of destiny, caught in an inescapable network of mutuality."

We have a choice: Chaos or Community.

We have, as well, the memory of Dr. King and those four little girls in Birmingham to inform the choices we make.

The question is: Will we find the "Love That Forgives" - in ourselves and others - so that we may choose to live in Christ's Beloved Community?

The Priest's Wife

2012-01-13T13:45:00.001-05:00

I suppose, fifty or sixty years from now, the next generation will all be thoroughly entertained by dramatic performances (Will they still be making 'films'?) of this most amazing time in our religious lives.

I'm convinced future generations will watch dramas about "the ordination of women" and "homosexuality" in the church and scratch their heads in a mixture of confusion and fascination, much the way I am entertained watching the British 'Masterpiece Classic' Theater's production of Downton Abbey.

Earlier this morning, I received no less than three emails alerting me to articles about the wives of clergy. One was a short but silly little 'lark' from Lark Magazine entitled "Pastor’s wife sends body double to sit pleasantly on front pew". Here are a few snips:

GRAND FORKS, Mich. — Unbeknownst to her husband or congregation, Trudy Smith has been avoiding church for two years, sending a look-alike in her place.

The impostor played the role successfully, greeting people, hugging her husband, listening to the sermon, taking copious notes. But she was found out when (the pastor) invited her up one Sunday for a spontaneous reprisal of an old hymn they sang early in their ministry.

“I knew the kids’ names, anniversaries and birthdays, but I didn’t know that song,” said the fake Trudy, who asked not to be identified. She made roughly $10,000 over two years.

“Worth every penny,” says the real Trudy, who’s back on the front pew. “You know, mannequins are getting more realistic …” •

The other two emails were about the NY Times article "For Priests' Wives, a Word of Caution," which pondered the role of the wives of priests who have joined the Personal Ordinariate of the Chair of Saint Peter, a special division of the Roman Catholic Church that former Episcopal congregations and priests — including, notably, married priests — can enter together en masse.

The author, Sara Ritchey, who is an assistant professor of medieval European history at the University of Louisiana, Lafayette, reminds us:

The Vatican has stressed that the allowance for married priests is merely an exception (like similar dispensations made in the past by the Vatican) and by no means a permanent condition of the priesthood. If a priest is single when he enters the ordinariate, he may not marry, nor may a married priest, in the event of his wife’s death, remarry.

She then goes on to give us a history of the evolution of celibate, unmarried clergy in the Roman Catholic Church, and how it came to be that "decisive legislation mandating priestly celibacy" was not enacted until the reform movement of the 11th century.

During the....umm....assimilation...of married clergy, their wives were (Surprise!) treated horribly. Ritchey reports that

"The priest’s wife was an obvious danger. Her wanton desire, suggested the 11th-century monk Peter Damian, threatened the efficacy of consecration. He chastised priests’ wives as “furious vipers who out of ardor of impatient lust decapitate Christ, the head of clerics,” with their lovers. According to the historian Dyan Elliott, priests’ wives were perceived as raping the altar, a perpetration not only of the priest but also of the whole Christian community."

And .....

"Furthermore, the priest’s wife was often accused, along with her children, of draining the church’s resources with her extravagance and frivolity. Pope Leo IX attempted to remedy this problem in the 11th century by decreeing that the wives and children of priests must serve in his residence at the Lateran Palace in Rome."

Oh, but wait! There's more! Ritchey saves the best salvo for last:

Until then, priests’ wives should beware a religious tradition that views them, in the words of Damian, as “the clerics’ charmers, devil’s choice tidbits, expellers from paradise, virus of minds, sword of soul, wolfbane to drinkers, poison to companions, material of sinning, occasion of death ... the female chambers of the ancient enemy, of hoopoes, of screech owls, of night owls, of she-wolves, of blood suckers.”

You know, I have to say that I much prefer bigots who are simply bold and obvious in their bigotry. They're ever so much more entertaining and much easier to deal with than the subtle forms of institutionalized sexism with which we have to manage today.

Ritchey notes: "Given this history, I caution the clerical wife to be on guard as she enters her role as a sacerdotal attaché. Her position is an anomalous one and, as the Vatican has repeatedly insisted, one that will not receive permanent welcome in the church".

"Sacerdotal attaché"? Oh, dear. Ms. Ritchey may know her medieval European history, but she clearly doesn't know too many wives of Episcopal clergy.

Oh, to be sure, there are 'good wives' in the ranks of the wives of the ordained in The Episcopal Church. Indeed, there are 'good women clergy', too, who play the game according to The Boy's Rules.

There are lots of variations of both and I am sometimes hard-pressed to know which is the greater portion of wisdom and efficacy - the woman (ordained or spouse of the ordained) who commits her life to authenticity to one degree or another, or the one who lives in some manner with the understanding that her husband is 'head of the household' and does her best to be her best - for herself, her family and the church.

In thinking about it, I have been able to identify at least six different incarnations of 'The Priest's Wife'. They are, in a way, of course, stereotypes; but the thing about stereotypes is that there is always at least a grain of truth to them.

Admittedly, there's lots of 'cross pollination' amidst the six categories. And, I'm being completely heterosexist in my perspective. Those of you who are LGBT clergy or the spouse/partner of LGBT clergy will have to do your own translations - until the next installment on that particular issue.

I also hasten to add that I'm not trying to fit people into boxes. Rather, I'm trying to describe the ecclesiastical landscape as I've observed it over the years.

I know the risks involved in trying to describe what I see. I'm fully prepared to pick up lots of flack for this piece. So be it. I think it makes the point about the 'issue' I'm guessing Rome hasn't considered in this whole 'Ordinariate' scheme.

See if you recognize any one of these "Priest's Wives".

1. The Iconic Wife

I vote this woman 'most likely to succeed' in the Ordinariate. She attends everything, sits up front, takes notes on her husband’s sermon, and believes she lives in a glass house and so she acts like it. She 'minds her tongue' in public, and dresses modestly and impeccably. Everyone knows the sound of her proper Episcopal pumps on the center aisle as she makes her way to 'her pew' - which no one would ever dare sit in, except the occasional, unsuspecting visitor who is quickly whisked away by the ushers who know the exact time she will make her appearance in church. The congregation speaks well of her but not necessarily warmly or fondly - sort of the same way in which they speak of the rector's sermons (which, in a way, she is painfully aware that she is).

2. The Helper Wife

This woman will also fare well in her new role in the Roman Catholic Church. She sees her 'calling' as helping her husband be a priest - which does not mean that she teaches Sunday School or is involved much in 'traditional' church activities. She is often her husband's at-home secretary, confident, coach, and advisor but she does this without pay. Make no mistake (and, members of the congregation do so at their own peril), she is her husband's eyes and ears in the church, informing him about conversations she 'just happens' to overhear in the kitchen or lady's room or garden or parking lot or from an open window in the rectory. She is pleasant and may even provide sparkling entertainment at the rectory, but she relates mostly to her husband's ministry, rather than the church's ministry.

3. The Priest's Wife

That's it. That's all she is. Well, at least in the eyes of the institutional church. She's a member of the congregation who may or may not sing in the choir or serve an occasional 'season' as a Sunday school teacher. She may or may not bring a casserole to the church potluck supper or even entertain at The Rectory. The Priest's Wife, more often than not, has her own life and "works outside the home" as a doctor or lawyer or some other professional. Her attitude is, "“He is a priest and I am a lawyer. He doesn’t come to court to work at my job and I don’t interfere with his job at the church.” I suspect she'll do well, at least for awhile, depending on the relationship she has with her husband and the strength of her relationship with him and the quality of their family life.

These first three categories of women will do fairly well in their new lives and roles, I suspect. It's still going to be an adjustment - to one degree or another - but as long as the Roman Catholic Church in the post-modern world does not treat her as wives were treated in The Dark Ages, she'll be okay.

Time will tell, but I'm guessing most of these women will not.

The 'rude awakening' will come when she becomes The Dowager Priest's Wife. I don't expect the institutional Roman Catholic Church to treat her well if her husband predeceases her. Indeed, I don't expect any provisions have been made for her in this little arrangement.

It's the next three women for whom I have the most concern.

4. The Vicarious Wife.

This woman may have silently or even unconsciously struggled with her own vocation to ordination for years. Unlike the 'The Helper Wife', she believes her call is to the ministry of the church, not her husband's ministry - at least, for the first decade or two. She leads ministries in the church and often functions practically as the chief lay leader. This wife is intimately involved in programming, organizations, and often launches new initiatives or new programs on her own. She counsels, teaches, organizes, administers, manages and leads as if she is a paid staff member even if she gets no paycheck from the church. I have seen these wives - in middle age or after her husband's untimely death, or, in at least two cases I know, after her husband 'came out' as a gay man - come before Commissions on Ministry to seek ordination. Many of them do not pursue ordination and make their peace with their status - mostly because they are recognized as leaders in their own right by their husbands and members of the congregation.

I fear for the future of this particular woman more than I do the next two because I don't think too many husbands of too many of the following wives would seek membership in the Ordinariate. Oh, there will be some, but it would obviously require a sacrifice of major proportions such that the possibility could not even be entertained - unless, of course, there were to be a divorce.

Now, wouldn't that present an interesting problem to Rome?

Anyway, here are the other two 'priest's wives'.

5. The Ordained Wife

She may have been a Vicarious Wife for years who has come to realize that she has been called to ordination all along. Often, she is a deacon but sometimes, she is also a priest. She may or may not be a paid member of the staff, but she works in full partnership with her husband. She may even be 'co-rector', receiving - at least, theoretically - half of the salary package or, perhaps, simply working for health insurance and pension. She sometimes is called by the bishop or canon to help out in another congregation that needs short-term supply or interim. Sometimes, she also has a private pastoral counseling and/or spiritual direction practice. Or, she may work as the (paid) Director of one of the Church's Outreach Ministries. I can't imagine the turmoil the Ordinariate will bring to this person and her relationship with her husband.

6. The Parallel Wife

I vote this woman 'most likely to fail' in the Ordinariate - or, at least, least likely for her or her husband to become a member of the Ordinariate. She is also a priest (or Methodist, Presbyterian, UCC or Unitarian minister) but leads another congregation as Rector, Priest-In-Charge, or on staff as an Associate/Assistant. She may work full or part time. Sunday mornings, both are preaching at their own church and, throughout the week, both are involved in the pastoral and administrative and educational pursuits of their congregations. Sometimes, one of these clergy couples - it may or may not be the woman - is working part time while the other pursues a doctorate. In most congregations I know, there is, among some members, a low-level resentment about The Parallel Wife because they feel they have been denied the full benefit of having either an Iconic, Helper or even 'just' a Priest's wife. They may feel sorry for their priest if the wife is ordained in another denomination. We often want most what we can not have - which is 'the way it was'. Or, at least, the way we think it ought to be.

So, there it is. My perspective on one of the 'complications' of this complex and difficult shift to the Right in the creation of the highly impersonal "Personal Ordinariate".

I wish them all well. Really.

I've never been happier since my decision to leave the Roman Catholic Church and enter The Episcopal Church and the Anglican Communion.

I wish only the same happiness for those who have swum the baptismal waters from The Thames to the The Tiber.

Because the institutional Roman Catholic Church does not see women in the fullness of their humanity - despite the encyclicals that proclaim their 'full respect for the role of women in the church' - they will be blissfully unaware of the quiet revolution they have unknowingly begun.

Despite the ruling that these matters may not even be discussed, I suspect that many conversations will ensue in the pews and parking lots and in dark corners of the parish hall which question the church's decision about the unmarried, celibate state of their priests in particular and the role and status of women in the church in general.

Alas, I won't be around in 50 or 60 years to watch the dramatic portrayal of the drama of these days, but I have no doubt it will be the subject of many an entertaining program one can watch on whatever technological gadget or gizmo is available at the time.

I'll just have to watch the whole thing unfold from the other side of The Pearly Gates. Which is just fine with me. Really.

Besides, I've got Downton Abbey to keep me entertained while I'm here.

Ah, 1914, in the days just before the first World War. It was the best of times. It was the worst of times. And all of it is very entertaining. As, I suspect, 2012 will be to the next generation.

It has been said that "The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world."

Shhh....don't anyone tell The Boys in Rome. It's bound to completely ruin their day.

I mean, Rome just apologized in 1992 for putting Galileo on trial in 1610 because he said the world wasn't flat.

What are you expecting?

Progress?

Tim Tebow can touch MC Hammer

2012-01-12T14:07:00.009-05:00

Okay, first confession: I know lots about birthin' babies but I don't know nothin' 'bout football.

Second confession: I have heard - ad nauseam - about Tim Tebow.

Final confession: I really don't care much about either football or Tim Tebow.

Here's what I care about: All the hoopla surrounding the "miracles of math" about this Denver Bronco's quarterback cum Christian Evangelist and how it makes all Christians look like morons.

It begins to border on a Christian cult.

It began before he was born.

The ~~holy football writ~~ ~~legend~~ story goes that, while pregnant, his mother suffered a life-threatening infection with a pathogenic amoeba. Because of the drugs used to rouse her from a coma and to treat her dysentery, the fetus experienced a severe placental abruption.

Doctors had expected a stillbirth and recommended an abortion to protect her life, although abortions are illegal in the Philippines where she and her husband were Baptist missionaries, but she decided not to have one.

Her choice. At least she had one.

Tebow in the days when he was allowed to carry messages in his eye-black.

That story was really the first time I ever heard the name Tim Tebow. He was playing for the Florida University Gators and had already gotten some press because he had scratched in John 3:16 (Luther called the verse "the gospel in miniature") into his eye-black.

He and his mother, Pam, made news about spreading their opinion that abortion is wrong.

Indeed, there was that whole controversy about the Anti-Abortion Commercials, financed by the conservative Christian Evangelical group, Focus on the Family, he and his mother made which were to air during the Superbowl in 2010.

I remember listening to the interviews and watching the ad and thinking, "This boy and his story are NOT going away."

That's not the first time controversy has surrounded this young man. The youngest of five children, he and his siblings were homeschooled by their mother which normally would have excluded him from being able to play on local high school teams. However, the law changed and he and his mother moved to an apartment near the high school so he could play quarterback.

Some folks made a fuss about that, but it only served to prepare him for the controversy that was to surround this young man.

Besides, for an Evangelical, nothing is more 'faith-convicting' than the feeling of being persecuted. Make 'em feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

That, and numbers. I'll get to that in a minute.

Here's another story about the Tebow the Miracle Man from his high school days:

Tebow was soon known not only for his running and throwing, but for his intense competitiveness and uncommon physical courage. Later that same year he suffered an injury to his right leg late in the first half of a game. Originally thought by the Nease (High School) coaching staff to be a bad cramp, he played the entire second half with a broken fibula, at one point rushing for a 29-yard touchdown. After the game the extent of the injury was discovered and he was held out for the remainder of his junior season. Nevertheless he was named Florida's Player of the Year and became a major college football quarterback prospect. During his senior season he led the Nease Panthers to a state title, earned All-State honors, was named Florida's Mr. Football and a Parade magazine high school All-American, and repeated as Florida's Player of the Year.

Clearly, this young man is an incredible, devoted athlete, but it's the numbers - combined with his Evangelical faith - that have catapulted him into the national limelight.

During this past Sunday's game against the Steelers, the three-number sequence popped up more than a few times. CBS reports:

As our brilliant commenters point out below, Tebow completed 10 passes. That means he averaged 31.6 yards per pass. His final pass was to Thomas who just happens to have been born on Christmas Day. (!)

Oh and this: the Steelers-Broncos game was the most-watched wild-card game since 1988. In the final quarter-hour, the overnight rating was 31.6. Weird stuff man, weird stuff.

As it turns out, the lone interception thrown in the game on Sunday night came from Ben Roethlisberger. What down and distance were involved when he threw it? Third and 16. Of course.

Apparently, this was enough to send football fans over the edge - not that it takes much. Google reported that three of the top sixteen (There's that 3:16 again) searches that weekend were (1) John 3:16 (2) Tim Tebow and (5) broncos, beating out ((3) ford fusion and (4) beyonce baby.

Can you believe it? Tim Tebow beat out Blue Ivy - the newborn daughter of Bey and Jay? I mean, how much more of a miracle do you need to see?

One commentator gushed that this made Tebow the best evangelist "in the world".

Pul-eese!

Looking up and reading John 3:16 isn't going to make you a Christian any more than going into the garage every day is going to make you a car.

Philippians 4:6-7

Look, when I was a kid - probably up until the time I was a teenager - I used to be fascinated by numbers as well.

Oooooh: Four corners of the earth. Four directions of the wind. Four evangelists who wrote four books of the Gospels.

And, I - even I - was born in April. the fourth month of the year.

Far out, man! What does it mean? Must mean....something....right?

Wait! If it's so important, why are there three persons in one God and not four?

I asked "Father" that question, once, and saw the back of his hand for "questioning the gift of faith". I never asked it again. Indeed, I just decided that religion was for morons and left my heart right there on the church steps.

I took my soul with me, which suited me well when I finally found a religious denomination that didn't require me to leave my brains at the door as a requirement for membership.

I suppose you've really made it when the media begins to make jokes about you. I especially loved this skit from Saturday Night Live. I love it when Jesus asks Tebow to "take it down a notch" and reveals that He actually prays to Broncos kicker Matt Prater - who has reportedly been saving this team in a more terrestrial sense.

Here are some "Tebowisms" that have recently sprung up:

The square root of Tim Tebow is a stiff arm to the face.

The active ingredient in Red Bull is Tim Tebow's sweat.

The NFL renamed the 2 minute warning, "Tebow Time".

Tim Tebow's number is 15 because that's how many players it takes to tackle him.

SuperMan wears Tim Tebow Pajamas.

One time Tim Tebow threw a football up into the air as hard as he possibly could, that football today is known as the Halley's Comet.

Tim Tebow doesn't run down the field, the field moves under Tim Tebow.

When Tim Tebow's sister lost her virginity, he got it back.

David didn't beat Goliath, Tim Tebow did!

By the time it takes you to read this Tim Tebow has already read the bible...twice.

I've actually done some math of my own. Watch this and be amazed:

Timothy Richard Tebow was born August 14, 1987. If you add the eighth month with the fourteenth day, you get 22. Reduce that to its lowest number by adding them together and you get 4.

See that? Four corners of the earth. Four directions of the wind. Four gospels.

It must be a sign, don't you think?

But wait! There's more.

If you add 8 + 14 + 1987, you get 2009 - which was the year he ran for two touchdowns to put him in 2nd place on the all-time SEC touchdown list. (see also 22 = 4 above).

That was also the year his team lost - once again to Alabama - leaving Tebow weeping on the sidelines, but hey, people, let's stay focused on what's important.

Tebow graduated from the University of Florida in December 2009 with a bachelor's degree in family, youth and community sciences. See what I mean?

Besides, if you add 2 + 0 + 0 + 9 = 11, which, added together equals 2 which is the sum of the month and day of his birth.

And, and, AND.... If you add up all the numbers of his full name, you get 19. 1 + 9 = 20. And, there's that number 2 again. Weird stuff, man. Weird stuff.

Coincidence? I think not.

And, the message? Beats he heck out of me. I'm a theologian, not a mathematician.

Well, Tebow may have made it big, his ability to "strike a pose" and be in prayer on the football field are now called "Tebowing" and his various biblical messages on his eye-black may have raised him to mythic status among football fan(atic)s but I think this has given Christianity a real black eye.

While I appreciate his faith, I think it's guys like that who make the rest of the members of Western Christianity look like morons.

And, in truth, some of us are.

But, some of us take our faith - but not ourselves - seriously.

Yes, there are mysteries about God and the universe that are beyond human comprehension. But, sometimes, stuff happens. Good stuff. Bad stuff. Some of it makes sense. Most of it doesn't.

I believe there are some things in life that are coincidence, and other things that are not. I believe in paradox and serendipity and I believe what Jung said about synchronicity.

And, as fascinating as mathematics is (which is way above my pay and grade), I believe you can't explain everything with math.

Or, the Bible.

So, lighten up, everybody.

Just try to enjoy the game.

You know. The way Jesus does.

Otherwise, we all just look like morons.

Which I think, as Anne Lamott once said, is enough to make Jesus drink gin straight out of the cat dish.

Shout the Gospel With Your Life: Celebrating 35 years of the Rev’d Dr Ellen (Sr. Bernadette) Barrett

2012-01-10T00:32:00.001-05:00

The Rev'd Dr. Ellen Barrett

Last month, in "Holy Women, Holy Men," the proposed new liturgical calendar of saints gave us the opportunity to learn about Charles de Foucauld, a Trappist monk who had a “ministry of presence” among “the furthest removed, the most abandoned” in the Sahara Desert.

He saw the purpose of his work not to proselytize or to convert people whose faith and culture differed from his, but to “shout the gospel” with his life.

Agnes de Mille once wrote: "No trumpets sound when the important decisions of our life are made. Destiny is made known silently."

Trumpets may not have sounded on the morning of January 10, 1977 when Ellen M. Barrett was ordained to the priesthood by Bishop Paul Moore in the Episcopal Diocese of New York, but the headline in the above-the-fold section of the front page of the New York Times that morning blared, “Lesbian Woman to be Ordained Priest.”

That headline was, at the time, more of a scandal than V. Gene Robinson’s election and consecration as the first openly gay male bishop. The Episcopal Church was certainly no stranger to "Don't Ask, Don't Tell". Everybody knew somebody who was a "Father Wink-Wink".

Barrett was not only a woman and a lesbian, she was self-affirming. About being both.

Remember: The year was 1977.

Let me put this into some historical context for you.

The Stonewall Riots happened in June of 1969. The 'Lavender Revolution' was less than 10 years old.

The Equal Rights Amendment passed the U.S. Senate and then the House of Representatives in 1972 and was sent to the states for ratification.

In 1973, the General Convention of The Episcopal Church voted - again - to reject the issue of the ordination of women.

On July 29, 1974, eleven women were "irregularly ordained" to the priesthood at the Church of the Advocate in Philadelphia, PA.

In September of 1975, four more women were "irregularly ordained" to the priesthood at St. Stephen and the Incarnation in Washington, DC.

In 1975, the General Synod of the Anglican Church of Canada (ACC) passed enabling legislation for women priests (the first six women priests in the ACC were ordained in November 1976).

In 1976, the General Convention of the Episcopal Church authorized the ordination of women to the priesthood and the episcopate. At the same time, the previous ordinations were regularized.

The first regular ordination occurred on 1 January 1977, when Jacqueline Means was ordained at the Episcopal Church of All Saints, Indianapolis.

In the month of January, 1977, no less than forty-one women were ordained to the priesthood.

As 1977 drew to a close, over 100 women had been ordained priests in The Episcopal Church.

A new day was dawning in The Episcopal Church and for many of “God’s frozen chosen,” it was a rude awakening.

Some churches flew the Episcopal flag at half-staff or upside-down. Some rectors and their congregations left – or threatened to leave – The Episcopal Church.

The “Chicken Little School of Theology” was on high alert, certain that the sky was falling and this would be THE END of The Episcopal Church many had known all their lives and loved with all their hearts.

Stop me if any of this sounds familiar.

While The Episcopal Church has certainly – thanks be to God - changed over the last thirty-five years, I believe history will reveal that what happened on January 10, 1977 to be one of the more significant and transformative events in the life of our church.

It may disprove, at least equivocally, Ms. de Mille’s statement, “Destiny is made known silently.”

One of the silent fears at the time was that opening ordination to women – besides making unification with Rome ~~that~~ ~~much~~ ~~more~~ ~~difficult~~ even more impossible – was that the only women who would seek ordination to the priesthood were women who "really wanted to be men". Read: lesbians.

Never mind that, every time I put on an alb - a long white dress - to preside at Eucharist, I'm dressing in traditional, ancient male garb. She may not have invented it, but it would seem that Mother Church is no stranger to "drag".

Ellen, Ernest Clay, and Kate Jones - Chicago, 1975

The New York Times hardly “scooped” the story about Ellen being a lesbian.

She was, from 1974-75, the co-president (with Jim Wickliff) of the then-fledgling organization known as Integrity, which had been founded by Louie Crew.

Her diaconal ordination in 1975 at St. Peter’s, Chelsea, had even drawn a small protest demonstration.

Rather than being "news" the headline only served to feed into the worst fears of sexism and homophobia, each of which has deep roots in the other.

Nick Dowen, long time convener of Integrity/NYC, remembers it clearly. “I had come home from work and turned on the six o’clock news. There was a film clip of Bishop Moore, ducking his mitre under heavy television cables on his way into Church of the Holy Apostles (where the ordination took place). It was clear that he was not pleased with all the attention.”

“I was thunderstruck,” Dowen said. “This signaled a new openness for gay men and lesbian women in the church – my church – and I couldn’t have been more proud.”

That was to be short-lived. At the next vestry meeting of the Church of the Ascension, which had been the meeting place of Integrity/NYC, the Vestry voted to ask the group to leave the church premises. Dowen was a member of the vestry at the time and only he and one other vestry member voted against the move.

Kate, Ellen & Louie Crew - Chicago, 1975

“It was an unexpected and decisive vote and it really shook me,” said Dowen. “I have been part of what I like to call ‘Liberal American Protestantism’ all my life, which had a long tradition of extending a warm welcome to everyone.”

“This was one of the most formative and transformative experiences of my life. I had never even heard of Integrity before Ellen’s ordination, but you can bet I got involved.”

Anyone who knows Ellen – now a monastic known as Sr. Bernadette – can tell you that she is the least likely person to cause such a tempest in the baptismal waters of the teapot known as The Episcopal Church.

The biographical statement of her life, which appears in the Religious Archives Network reveals no indication of a woman who would one day become above-the-fold headline news in the New York Times.

Here are a few highlights:

Barrett was born on February 10, 1946 in Lawrence, Kansas and hails from a proper Episcopal family - baptized at Trinity Episcopal Church and confirmed in the R.E. Lee Memorial Episcopal Church in Lexington, Virginia.

Her mother was secretary of the English Department at VMI (Virginia Military Institute). Her father was a professor at Washington and Lee University, chairing the Department of Roman Languages and also served as an attaché to the U.S. embassy in Ecuador.

She has a solid educational background. Her secondary schooling began in Stuart Hall, an Episcopal school for girls in Staunton, Virginia. She later graduated from Lexington High School in Virginia. Her undergraduate career had two stages: she first attended Southern Seminary Jr. College in Buena Vista, Virginia, graduating in 1967; from there she went to Albertus Magnus College in New Haven, Connecticut, graduating in 1970 with a BA in English literature.

In 1975, Barrett was awarded a M.Div. with honors from the General Theological Seminary, a member of its second class to admit women. She went on to earn a Ph.D. in medieval history from New York University in 1982, writing her dissertation on the only indigenous religious order in medieval England, the Gibertines, covering the order from its foundation in 1131 to the canonization of St. Gilbert of Sempringham in 1202.

She has worked mostly as a non-stipendiary and interim priest, and has taught medieval and church history at a variety of academic institutions in the Greater New York area, including Fordham University, New York University, Manhattan College, Union Theological College, New York Theological Seminary, and the Theological School of Drew University.

Real radical stuff, eh?

Had she been male and heterosexual, she would have had "all the right stuff" to be on the fast-track to the episcopacy - or, at least, a prestigious dean or cardinal rector.

Such a pity she has contributed to the downfall of the church in particular and Western Civilization in general, not to mention the destruction of family life and the corruption of the morals of our youth – and, no doubt, is the real cause of Global Warming, tsunamis, earthquakes and hurricanes.

Sr Bernadette

Today, Sr. Bernadette lives the solitary life of a monastic, occasionally augmenting her below-the-poverty-line pension with short-term interim and supply duties.

“She has paid a huge price in deployment because of her pioneering,” says Louie Crew, a long-time friend and fellow pioneer, adding, “I hope that everyone in the church will celebrate this occasion. It would also be very nice if a purse might be given.” (Not to worry. See below)

The thing about decisions and destiny is that many may happen quietly and even silently, but the ones that change lives rarely come without high cost.

I am deeply grateful for those who came before me who stepped out in faith, never counting the cost. I believe with all my heart that I would not have been ordained almost 26 years ago without the courageous witness of women like Ellen Barrett.

The Rev’d Dr. Ellen “Sr. Bernadette” Barrett has gone about these past 35 years quietly doing the work God has called her to do, being an unsuspecting and unintentional prophet in a not-for-prophet church.

I hope we both live long enough to see Sr. Bernadette in a newly revised edition of "Holy Women, Holy Men". The preface of that book says this:

In these saints we encounter not models of absolute perfection, but men and women whose lives, with all their diversity of gifts and graces, were reshaped by God's redemptive activity. May we take heart as we realize that, in spite of their failings and ours, we are all alike redeemed sinners called to be saints, those in whom the risen Christ's words to St. Paul come to fulfillment: "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." (2Cor.12:9)

Like Foucauld, Ellen "Sr. Bernadette" Barrett has shouted the gospel with her life, as the destiny of the church to embody the equality and liberation and justice of the Realm of God has quietly been revealed – despite the occasional blaring of headlines.

NOTE: If you would like to celebrate our history and honor Sr. Bernadette’s contribution to the life of our church, please make a check out to Integrity/USA and mark it “In honor of Sr. Bernadette” and mail it to:

Integrity/USA
David Cupps, Operation Mgr.
838 East High St. #291
Lexington, KY 40502

Or, visit the IntegrityUSA website ( http://www.integrityusa.org/ ) and click on the “Donate Now” link to your right, being sure to indicate “Sr. Bernadette” in the box marked: “Dedication”

All contributions will be sent directly to her.

Thank you!

P.S. Thank you to Louie Crew for the pictures of Sr. Bernadette from his own private album.

Stillborn

2012-01-08T12:33:00.002-05:00

Rosalind Hore

One of the wonderful things about living on the water is that you become more aware of the tides and the rhythm of life.

There is a stillness, in between the tides, when the whole round earth seems to rest in between cycles.

The water is neither going out nor coming in. There are no waves or even ripples in the water.

Even the air is still. Heavy, it seems, with the salty-pungent-acrid-musty odors of the water at rest.

Every sense tells you that the world is still and silent, and yet the intellect informs you that this is not - can not be - the case.

It's a bit like the moment every woman I've ever known, who, at the end of her pregnancy - when the baby begins to settle down, down, deep in the pelvis to get ready for birth - begins to worry because she can not feel the baby move.

She dares not speak the word and yet it dances 'round and 'round in her head which she willfully blocks from slipping into her mouth and tripping over her tongue.

Stillborn.

Soon enough, she will begin to realize that it is just an illusion - a series of small, insignificant moments of quiet and calm which can build toward a sense of panic - that will, eventually, be shattered by the reality of the incoming tide of labor.

Which has been coming. And, going. Anyway. There is nothing to be done to stop it or prevent it. It is the way it is. And has been. And will be. World without end. Amen.

There was such a moment of stillness in the tides when I arose from my bed, early this morning, and looked out my bedroom window to see the sun rise on the water.

I thought of the baptism of Jesus which we celebrate on today's liturgical calendar. I wondered if the waters were still when he stepped into the River Jordan to be baptized by his cousin, John.

John, we are told, leaped in his mother Elizabeth's womb as Mary approached. Did he know - then - in the placental waters in which he swam that he would, one day, baptize Mary's son into the living waters of a life of faith?

As I settled in for my morning meditation, a memory of a poem came to visit.

There is a point where in the mystery of

existence contradictions meet;

where movement is not all movement

and stillness is not all stillness;

where the idea and the form,

the within and the without, are united;

where infinite becomes finite,

yet not losing its infinity.

- Tagore

Such, I think, was the moment of the baptism of Jesus.

Ethiopian Orthodox Christians believe that the moment of baptism was the moment when Jesus received his divinity. Not before. No, that is heresy to them. Never mind that it is heresy to most of the rest of Western Christendom.

The Baptism of Jesus, they believe, was his 'quickening' into divine life eternal.

Before that, he had been 'stillborn'.

Born 'still' only to become fully alive at baptism.

Reborn at baptism to be resurrected in death.

Mystery lies in the seeming contradictions of life.

When the 'within and the without' are united.

I have come to believe that the stillness of the tides give us a glimpse into one of those mysteries.

Which is, no doubt, heresy to most of the rest of Western Christendom.

It is comforting to know that I'm in the company of other good 'orthodox' heretic Christians, who embrace and celebrate all of the mysteries of all of life.

At other times, we just sit quietly in awe.

Stillborn between the tides.

Born in a gush of placental waters.

Reborn in baptismal waters.

Dying, yet behold, we live.

Awaiting resurrection.

It is the way it is. And has been. And will be. World without end. Amen.

Dumb stuff straight people say to LGBT people

2012-01-06T14:39:00.001-05:00

The other day, someone posted a really clever Youtube video on FaceBook entitled, "Dumb shit White girls say to Black girls".

It's clever and it's startling because, well, while I actually haven't said or done some of those things, I have to admit that some of the things I've said and done, in the early years of healing my own racism, I've come pretty damn close to saying and/or thinking some of those things.

In that way, the video is very instructive and important. It also helps that the young Black woman dresses and talks like a Valley Girl. I think I may just have to include it the next time I do an Anti-Racism training program.

I hasten to add that I am not healed of my own racism. Racism is in the ether. We breathe in its toxins every minute of every day. I have to confess it every day or my soul will be in peril.

In the same way, so are sexism and heterosexism and homophobia. Just because I am a Queer woman does not prevent me from suffering from internalized sexism and heterosexism and homophobia.

So, one of my daily prayers is "Let me not be an instrument of the oppression of others. Let me not be an instrument of my own oppression".

Which I prayed again just this morning. Which is when I had this idea that I could do a list of my own. "Dumb things straight people say to LGBT people." I wish I could do a video of this list and be as effective as this young woman is, but you'll just have to use your imagination.

Here are some things that have actually been said to me. Most of them by genuinely well-intentioned, straight people, but some by LGBT people. You could probably add some of your own.

I've also added some of the responses I've made - or wished I had made - or regret I've made. You could probably add some of your own.

So, without any further delay, drum roll, please:

"This is your partner? What business are you in?" (The 'love business' - it's a family enterprise.)

"Are you two sisters?" (Yes, my mother and her mother are both mothers.)

"Is that your mother?" (No, but we are both mothers. Oh, and thank you.)

"Oh, you're wearing purple! Again! Of course, that would be your favorite color!" (Yup, just like Tinky Winky! You might have noticed that the bishop wears it, too!)

"But, you don't have a pinky ring, a cat, or wear Birkenstock sandals."(Don't like a lot of jewelry. Allergic to cats. Much prefer Dansko clogs. It's what all the really 'cool dykes' are wearing.)

"Is that lipstick? Are you wearing lipstick? And, eye makeup?" (Yup. I got special permission from LGBT Central.)

"Well, you dress very stylishly." (Thank you. I never go shopping without one of my gay male friends.)

"Do you own a motorcycle?" (Nope, and I don't have a pack of Lucky's rolled in the sleeve of my T-shirt, either. But, I do have a tattoo.)

"So, you're divorced. Does that make you bisexual?" (Actually, it makes me divorced.)

"Was your husband 'too small'? Or, was he 'too big'?" (Ummmm....Oh, look! Our hostess just brought out some more of her homemade salsa. Would you like some?)

"Why do you hate men?"(Why do you ask?)

"Is anyone else in your family gay or lesbian?" (Alas, I was kidnapped from my crib in Lesbianlandaville by a wild heterosexual couple who couldn't have any kids of their own.

"Are any of your children gay or lesbian?" (No, alas, even though we do want what's best for our children. They were just born that way, I guess.)

"When did you know you were lesbian?" (When did you know you were heterosexual?)

"Why do you want to get married, anyway?" (Why did you want to get married?)

"What's wrong with Civil Unions? Can't you people ever be happy?" (There's this little thing called the Constitution of the United States....maybe you've heard about it?)

"You people....." (Hubboy, here we go....)

"Your lifestyle...." (I don't have a lifestyle. I have a life.)

"But, the bible says...." (The Bible says lots of stuff. So, you may not want to eat that scallop wrapped in bacon. And, you may want to stop playing football.)

"That's so gay...." (That's so dumb!)

"Ewwww....it's just so...icky to think about." (Then, stop thinking about it. And, grow up!)

"You could 'change' if you really wanted to." (If I were able to 'change', would you really want me to marry your son?)

"I knew a gay man once who .... (fill in the blank)...died of AIDS / committed suicide / drank himself to death." (I know lots of heterosexual men and women who have died tragic deaths. We all make bad choices. That doesn't make us bad people.)

"If it's so difficult to be gay, why do they call it being 'gay'?"(It's just our little 'inside joke'. If you're not gay, you just wouldn't understand.)

"How did you come to have so many children?" (Did your parents ever tell you about the birds and the bees? How about the sperm and the egg?)

"Does the state know you have so many children?" (The IRS certainly does.)

"Well, at least you don't ever have to worry about birth control!" (My, how very astute!)

"Some of my best friends are gay." (No way! I also have some great friends who are straight! Imagine that!)

"I've been to a gay bar. Twice." (Get out! Me, too!)

"I've been to a Gay Pride Parade." (Get out! Me, too!)

"I took my daughter/son to a Gay Pride Parade." (Get out! Me, too!)

"I bought you this rainbow flag as a housewarming present." (Thank you. I'll be sure to put it out in June.)

"You know, I was going to get you a macrame plant hanger, but I couldn't find one anywhere." (Well, it's the thought that counts. No, really.)

"Do you have a gay friend who could help me ....
(1) pick out a good wine?
(2) help me with my window treatments?
(3) help me remodel my bedroom?
(4) pick out a dress for the party?"
(Yes. Yes. Yes. And, yes. This is also part of why we call ourselves 'gay'.)

"I'm sorry, I can't rent this apartment to you." (Yup, I get it.)

"I'm sorry, that position has already been filled." (Yup, I get it.)

"You don't have any trouble with homosexuality, do you?" (Nope, not at all.)

"What books would you recommend that I read?" (Oh, where to begin? Try the library.)

"I don't understand this book you recommended." (Did you not understand or did it make you feel uncomfortable so you couldn't concentrate?)

"Can you help me understand homosexuality?" (No, actually, I can't. That's your responsibility.)

"Who does your hair? You are so lucky to know so many gay men!" (I know, right? How lucky am I? That's part of why we're called 'gay'.)

"Do you know the words to this 1940s Broadway Play? Or, do you need to call a gay male friend? How does that work, anyway?" (Hum a few bars and we'll look it up on Google.)

"I love Lady Gaga. And, Madonna, too!" (No way! I also like Tom Cruise and Denzel Washington.)

"I don't care what anyone does in the privacy of their own bedrooms. I just don't like it when you people flaunt it." (If I'm a 'homosexual' and I scratch my nose in public, is that a 'homosexual act' I'm 'flaunting' ?)
"Why is it that lesbian women don't molest children but gay men do?" (Why is it that anyone molests children - especially heterosexual men?)

"Is it nature or nurture?" (Actually, it's a spectrum.)

Well, that's probably more than enough for now. You get the picture.

The thing of it is that we all say dumb things from time to time. We all have a lot of healing to do. That's because prejudice and bigotry are social diseases. We are all carefully taught.

Sometimes, the best way to 'unlearn' something is to learn to laugh at ourselves - and others who say dumb things that can be hurtful.

Laughter may or may not be the 'best' medicine, but without it, our humanity is diminished.

Indeed, I think laughter is one of the greatest statements of faith. If you are able to laugh in the face of the evils of sexism, heterosexism and homophobia, you know God is, ultimately, in charge.

The only 'medicine' I know, besides laughter, is forgiveness.

The healing really beings when you begin to forgive yourself.

After Tuesday

2012-01-05T13:54:00.003-05:00

Well, Michele "Crazy Eyes" Bachmann is out (Thanks be to God) but, being a "good girl", says she'll support whomever gets the nomination.

Rick "Yee-haw" Perry went back to Texas to "reassess" his campaign and is now back in the race (the very definition of "all cattle, no cowboy hat").

Newt "The New Catholic Moral" Gingrich came in fourth but said the Really Important thing about the Iowa Caucus is that 3/4 of the state's Republicans voted against Romney.

Ron "No Government (Unless I Run It)" Paul picked up a few celebrity endorsement (Kelly Clarkson, Chuck Norris and Vince Vaughn) but still came in third - and, only three percentage points behind the top two, who were only separated by eight (8!!!!) votes.

Rick "I'm More Roman Catholic Than The Pope" Santorum rode "The Santorum Surge" to collect 24.5% of the vote - and, also collected more than $1 million dollars within twenty-four hours of his.... "victory". Not bad for a guy who can't put two sentences together to make a coherent thought.

Mitt "Why Don't Republicans Like Me?" Romney emerged the narrowest of victories but you would have thought he won the lottery - which he can't play, of course, because of his religious beliefs.

And John "The Only Intelligent Choice (so I won't win)" Huntsman didn't show up, campaign or invest even $1 dollar in television ads in Iowa is busy planting seeds of hope in the hard, cold ground of New Hampshire.

Still, Huntsman picked up 745 votes or 0.6% of the votes, and even Herman "I don't remember her...or, her...or, her..." Cain picked up 58 votes, placing him - at 0% - in a statistical dead heat with those who voted for someone named Buddy Roemer (31 votes).

There were also 135 people said they had "No preference" and 117 people who voted for "Other".

What does it all mean?

Beats the heck out of me.

I'm pretty sure it means that the Republican Party is in pretty bad shape. Then again, we knew that after the last Presidential Election.

I mean, a junior senator from Illinois and a Black Man was elected President of the United States over a seasoned senator from Arizona who was a Vietnam Vet and POW and..... well ..... Sarah Palin.

Okay, okay. But, a lot has changed in the political landscape over the past 3.5 years. It's not going to be so easy this time - especially if Mitt Romney gets the nomination from his party and Republicans are united in their effort to "Take Back America and Return It To God".

Oh, they'll say it's about "the economy, stupid", but some of us ain't that stupid. We know. We see.

This is about the "new religion" of "Politicalism" - an odd hybrid of politics and the Very Hard religious right of an even odder conglomeration of evangelicals and Roman Catholics who are united in their moral outrage over a Quite Queer combination of Reproductive Rights (contraception and/or abortion) and Marriage Equality (homosexuality).

These are people who want "smaller government" but want the government to control what happens in a woman's body and what happens in the privacy of someone's bedroom.

Why? Because, well, because the Bible tells them so. That's why.

After Tuesday's Republican Caucus in Iowa, one thing has become very clear to me: I suspect that the framers of the Constitution - if they were able to hear these candidates - would be absolutely rolling over in their graves.

We're at a very interesting - when it's not absolutely terrifying - confrontation at one of the principle foundations of this country: Freedom of Religion.

Inherent in that freedom is freedom FROM religion - meaning that Agnostics and Atheists have as much rights under the Constitution as Christians, Jews, Muslims and any other form of religion.

Tell that to some of the folks who are running for President who believe - with all the room in their 'grinchy too-sizes-too-small' hearts - that this means that you can express your CHRISTIANITY any way you want.

Well, mostly. As long as your Christian religion teaches you to 'believe' in the 'right things'. You know. Like they do about abortion and homosexuality. And, as long as you have 'real religion' and don't belong to a 'cult' like Mormonism.

My friend, Ted Mollegen, when we were both part of the New Commandment Task Force - a collective of Episcopalians from across the theo-political spectrum of the Church to try and find a way to avoid the schism that is now upon us - taught me something I will never forget.

Ted said, "You have the absolute right to swing your arms as widely as you want, but that right stops at the end of my nose."

Which brings up interesting questions about the application of religion and politics in a country founded on the principle of "Freedom of Religion".

The way I understand it, Rick Santorum and Mitt Romney and Michele Bachmann and Barack Obama and Joe Biden and Hillary Clinton can hold whatever religious beliefs they choose. Or, not.

The tricky part comes from the fact that their religious positions and values must not - can not - interfere with the interpretation or application of the law of the land.

Religious Freedom

So, for example, Rick Santorum can believe anything his RC church teaches him. He simply can not use that belief to stand in the way of the civil or human rights of others.

Mr. Obama can believe anything his UCC church teaches him. That his particular religious perspective is more in tune with the laws of the land and the proposed changes to the laws of the land does not make him "right" and Santorum "wrong".

That's another issue. A religious issue. Religious issues are religious issues. Legal issues are legal issues. Hopefully, our religious education and training and formation mold us and shape us to be moral agents, but - at least theoretically - laws in a country built on the foundation of "Freedom of Religion" inhabit a place which is simultaneously apart from religion and inclusive of the morality of religious teaching.

Lady of Justice

That's a difficult balance - a murky place filled with complicated questions and complex, difficult answers. I think that's why the symbol of the legal system is a blindfolded woman, balancing the scales in her right hand while holding a sword in her left hand.

I think that's what it takes to achieve a "more perfect union". Not perfect, but "more perfect". In other words, the laws are not perfect but are perfected, as St. Paul said, "in the doing".

We need the friction of our oppositional views to form the 'refiner's fire' of democracy so that we can become 'more perfect'. That takes maturity and intelligence and imagination - qualities which seem to be sorely lacking in this country at this particular moment in time.

That being said, to allow a religious perspective - any religious perspective - to define laws would be to turn a democracy into a theocracy - which is the danger of politicians who claim to be "religious leaders" and, ironically, the reason we were in Iraq and are still in Afghanistan.

We have met the enemy, as Pogo said, and it is us.

Religious Oppression

After Tuesday's Caucus in Iowa, I've gotten much, much clearer about these three things:

1. Religious freedom is one of the foundational principles of this country which guarantees freedom of religious practice and expression - ALL religion - as well as freedom FROM religion.

2. The Sacred Texts of our religion are not to be worshiped. They are to help us and guide us to worship God and be moral agents of compassion and justice.

3. The Constitution is not a sacred text. We are not supposed to worship the Constitution. We are supposed to govern the government by the Constitution and use the sacred texts of our religion to govern our own lives.

After Tuesday, I don't know that this is clear to everyone in this country.

Before November, 2012, I pray to God that we'll all be much clearer about these things.

That being said, I also know that there are none so blind as those who refuse to see.

And, none so deadly as those who can't laugh at themselves. (Click on picture to enlarge)

Moravian Lovefeast

2012-01-04T18:12:00.000-05:00

Moravian Stars in the Strietzelmarkt in Dresden

On the 10th Day of Christmas, I am preparing for my first experience with a Lovefeast in the Moravian Tradition which will be held, this year, at St. George's Chapel in Harbeson, DE, on the Eve of the Feast of the Epiphany.

A 'Lovefeast" sounds positively bohemian, doesn't it? It conjures up for me images from the 60's of a "Love In". Peace, love, drug, sex and and rock 'n roll. Cool. Groovy. Far out, man!

That's not it. At. All. Or, at least, so I'm told.

I know to expect some wonderful music and the singing lots of hymns by candlelight, interspersed with hearing some readings and sharing some wonderful food.

Beyond that, your guess is as good as mine.

I haven't been told to wear flowers in my hair or bring a 'bowl of greens' - but, being good Episcopalians, there's bound to be at least a few bottles of good wine - so I think I'm safe in assuming that, what little I've read is correct in that

As the early Christians met and broke bread together in token of their fellowship and love, so the members of the Moravian Church family have made it their custom to celebrate special occasions by sharing with friends a simple meal, a "lovefeast." The name of the service is a literal translation of the New Testament word "agape." A Lovefeast (not to be confused with Holy Communion) seeks to remove social barriers and strengthen the spirit of unity and goodwill among all people. A Lovefeast, in fact, is a Singstunde (an hour of song) which incorporates a simple meal.

I'm thinking that this will be a little like the Agape Meal that often precedes the Maundy Thursday Service except that one tends to be Very Somber - a reenactment of the meal that was shared in the Upper Room before Jesus was arrested and put on trial.

So, there's lots of olives and a variety of cheeses and pita bread and dates and grapes. There can also be the reading of appropriate scriptural verses and psalms and the singing of hymns.

The "Lovefeast", celebrated on The Feast of the Epiphany, is bound to be quite festive. It's 12th Night, after all - the 'official' end of Christmastide and the beginning of the Season of The Epiphany.

I love The Epiphany. Almost as much as I love Christmas.

Unfortunately, Christmas has become so secularized that I, even I, have a hard time remembering "the reason for the season". I love that my grandmother insisted that Christmas presents be exchanged on The Feast of the Epiphany, leaving us to consider the holy gift of the Incarnation at Christmas.

I've tried to emulate that in our family when the whole gang gets together - parents, kids, grandchildren - and celebrates "Little Christmas". This year, because of the travel plans of one of our kids, we're celebrating it a bit late, but no one would miss this for the world.

I love that, after we consider the holy gift of the Christ child, we share gifts with each other in honor of the birth of Jesus. It really doesn't matter to me that the "Three Kings" probably came three years and not 12 days after the Nativity. It matters that we take time to consider the gift of the Incarnation and then share gifts with each other in His honor.

Author Philip Jenkins has an interesting article in the December 27th issue of Christian Century about the Season of Timkat - an important, three-day celebration of the 40-million-member Orthodox Church of Ethiopia.

According to Jenkins, Timkat comes 12 days after Christmas and "brings large areas of the country to a halt in a season dedicated to elaborate rituals, to feasting and gift giving, pageantry and mysticism".

Actually, the event commemorates the baptism of Christ in the Jordan (Timkat is the Amharic word for 'baptism'). Jenkins says that "baptismal symbolism dominates the rituals to the point that enthusiastic believers plunge into consecrated pools to renew their vows".

Christians in the Orthodox tradition, do not link Epiphany to the visit of the Magi but, rather, to Christ's baptism, and thus returns us to the controversy that consumed the early church for the first three centuries when believers had very different ideas about the divinity of Christ and whether there was a particular moment at which he gained that status. Yes, Christ came into the world - but when, exactly, did that divinity shine forth?

Jenkins says that "The mainstream church believed, of course, that the baby born in Bethlehem was God incarnate, but powerful voices held rival views. For many early Christians, Jesus was a good or holy man, conceived and born in the usual way, and only at the moment of his baptism was he suddenly overwhelmed by the power of divinity, the Logos or Holy Spirit".

Some cry, "Heresy!" at this notion. And yet, 40 million Christians who consider themselves "Orthodox" will see hundreds of thousands of pilgrims flood into Ethiopia to join them, with individual churches processing and parading their 'tabots' - symbols of the Ark of the Covenant.

Well, whether it's the manifestation of the divinity of Christ in his baptism or by the recognition of the same by three secular "Kings", I think it all comes down to the way John's gospel (1:1) speaks of the Incarnation: "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God".

And, that word was LOVE.

I suppose a 'Moravian Lovefeast' is just as good as a plunge in a pool of consecrated water.

So's our family's "Little Christmas" celebration.

It really matters not how you celebrate the manifestation of "Love incarnate, Love divine".

It matters THAT you celebrate it. Preferably, with someone - or those - you love.

The motto of the Moravian church is: "In essentials, unity; in nonessentials, liberty; and in all things, love".

Sounds like a manifestation of God to me!

The Undisciplined Disciple

2012-01-02T14:24:00.000-05:00

Okay, so it's crept up on me. The rich, decadent holiday food. The 'no time for exercise'. The "I'll just have one more glass of wine." The "okay, just an extra dollop of butter".

Suddenly, here I am with "The post-Thanksgiving Day +10 pounds" clearly evident on this morning's scale.

Here's the truth of it, staring at me in cold, hard numbers: I need to lose weight.

Again.

Sigh.

Oh, the diet part is fairly easy. It's the way I normally eat: high protein, "good" carbs in moderation, lots of veggies (could do better on the fruit), low fat, no sugar or caffeine, allowing myself a weekly glass of wine or bourbon (not both), drinking lots of water throughout the day.

No, it's not the diet. It's the exercise.

Just like "it's not the heat, it's the humidity'.

Well, it's not even the exercise. I love the Wii Fit. That's not the problem. It's the being disciplined about exercise.

I know that in order to drop those ten pounds, I've got to exercise - to a sweat, not just walking with Theo - at least an hour a day, 4-5 times a week.

Discipline.

I'm so disciplined about so many things in my life. I think of the way I eat as a discipline. I try not to eat too much processed food. I try to eat "low and local" on the food chain. I do it, now, without even giving much thought to it.

Is that discipline?

It's the same way with prayer and meditation. It's part of how I live my life. I 'make time' for it but I don't, really, any more. It's just part of my 'routine'. It's just what I do.

It's like I'd never leave the house without showering and brushing and flossing. I don't think I could.

Is that discipline?

I guess what I'm asking is this question: When 'discipline' become so 'routine' that you don't have to think about it any more, is that a 'discipline'?

I guess I'm struggling with the idea about discipline being essentially about willpower, hard work and persistence.

Discipline also has connotations, for me, of a punishment. That comes from my childhood as well as in the religious world of being "disciplined" for a 'sin' of some sort.

That would be me and exercise, but in the other aspects of my life, I'm pretty 'disciplined' in terms of being a 'disciple' of health and well being - especially in terms of the food I eat (well, with the exception of holidays) and my dedication to certain principals and values like gratitude and generosity and excellence and how that is applied in my life with my family and my work of ministry and activism, as well as prayer and meditation.

Indeed, one of the great compliments I get is when someone asks me to pray for them. That's enough of a compliment - to be asked to hold someone in prayer is an enormous trust - but what I often get is that the person tells me that I am being asked, specifically, because - as one person wrote just this morning, "you are one of the most earnest pray-ers in the business. I really think you do 'storm heaven'."

It's humbling to admit, but that's true. I can't think of a higher compliment. Even so, I can't say that my prayers make a difference with God. I can't offer you any empirical data as evidence of the efficacy of my prayers, but I can tell you that I pray. Earnestly. Consistently. Relentlessly. Not necessarily in any disciplined order but absolutely without ceasing.

Prayer doesn't always change the situation, but it always changes me.

I like to think of myself as an "undisciplined disciple".

The thing about the discipline of exercise is that, eventually, I fail. Oh, I do very well for long stretches of time. I was actually doing well before I went on sabbatical.

Going to a gym in Cambridge, MA was outrageously expensive. Here, in Lower, Slower Delaware, the gym fees are more reasonable, but I'd have a 30 mile round trip to the gym.

The Wii Fit is an excellent alternative. The problem is getting into the "discipline" of daily exercise so that it becomes a "habit".

Which is an interesting turn of phrase, is it not?

When does a discipline become a habit? Does it cease to have real benefit when it does?

I mean, at this point, I have some good "habits" but I'm not necessarily "disciplined" about them in terms of "doing what I don't want to do when I don't want to do them".

So, does that negate the effect of being "disciplined"? Because it's now a "habit"?

Well, by now you've probably already figured out that I have successfully avoided making time for exercise because I've been sitting in front of my laptop, THINKING about exercising.

I'm also really good at WATCHING exercise programs on TV. From my favorite, comfortable chair. Whilst drinking a cold glass of water.

I'm very clever, aren't I? Especially about not doing what I don't want to do when I don't want to do it.

And no, exercise is not my "New Year's Resolution". I've never really gotten into that discipline.

Here's where I've landed. I'd like to think about regular exercise as an act of faithfulness.

I'd like to think that my prayer life is less about 'habit' and more about being faithful.

I'd like to start thinking of the time I dedicate to exercise as a form of prayer and learn ("discipline myself") to be faithful to THAT.

I'd like to start thinking that, if I have this slight change of perspective, that I could not fail. And, if I think I can not fail, I'm thinking I could attempt to do most anything.

So, off I go, into this new year with a new mindset about losing these 10 pounds. I'm looking to change my relationship with my body and create a new relationship with it.

A more faithful one.

One of my own choosing.

One that I won't come to regret but rather embrace and rejoice in.

Even for an "undisciplined disciple" like me, faithfulness is a choice.

In making that choice, failure is not an option.

2011: The Episcopal Year in Review

2011-12-31T14:54:00.007-05:00

Episcopal Core Beliefs

It's the eve of the new year of 2012. Already, 2012 is distinguished by an optimism that is probably mostly due to the fact that it's not 2011.

As editors of magazines and newspapers are compiling lists of the "Top Ten" stories, I wondered what might be the stories in The Episcopal Church and Anglican Communion that have caught our attention.

I asked readers here and on FaceBook what those stories might be for them. What follows is a highly unscientific and patently unreliable poll of what we might remember from 2011. They are in no particular order of priority. I hope you'll chime in if you think something got left out.

1. "Papa don't preach": The Anglican Covenant.

Like it or not (and, I don't), this story dominated the news in our church and in the Anglican Communion for most of the year. I have no doubt - no doubt at all - that it will continue to have a prominence in our religious news in 2012.

According to the website maintained by "No Anglican Covenant: Anglicans for Comprehensive Unity", all thirty-eight provinces (national and regional churches) of the Anglican Communion have been asked to adopt an agreement, the Anglican Covenant (or Anglican Communion Covenant), which sets out reputedly common doctrine and describes a process for dispute resolution among Communion churches.

As of this writing only five provinces have "approved" or "accepted" the Anglican Covenant, The Province of South East Asia has "acceded" to it, The Church of Ireland "subscribed" to it, and six provinces are in various stages of debate and ratification or rejection.

In The Episcopal Church, the Covenant will be taken up at the 2012 General Convention. Various dioceses have passed resolutions both for and against the Covenant. Most notable, because of its detail is a resolution against adoption from the Diocese of California. The Executive Council will offer a resolution at General Convention gently rejecting the Covenant.

2. "Much ado about nothing": The Rt. Rev'd V. Gene Robinson plans retirement in 2013.

I include this next not because it is earth-shattering news, although I hasten to point out that it was a story covered by the NY Times (as well as other major newspapers around the globe) but rather because his election (note to my British friends: not "appointment") and consecration were the very reasons for the Anglican Covenant in the first place. I find it sublimely ironic. The point was not missed by The NY Times which noted:

Since 2003, the Communion’s leaders have labored to save it from outright schism, not just over homosexuality, but also over female bishops and priests.

The current strategy, pushed by the archbishop of Canterbury, the Most Rev. Rowan Williams, is for each regional province to sign a “covenant” of common beliefs.

The covenant has been slowly making its way through laborious writing and approval processes, which could take years.

Late last month, an international coalition of liberal Anglicans started a campaign to reject the covenant, saying, “The covenant seeks to narrow the range of acceptable belief within Anglicanism.”

The group, Anglicans for Comprehensive Unity, said, “Rather than bringing peace to the Communion, we predict that the covenant text itself could become the cause of future bickering and that its centralized dispute-resolution mechanisms could beget interminable quarrels and resentments.”

Bishop Gene will retire in January of 2013, which gives this story real "legs' for 2012. It should be interesting to see how - if at all - it will affect process of "ratification" of The Anglican Covenant.

3. "It's mine. No, it's mine.": The on-going Property Disputes

As the fallout over "The Great Episcopal Schism" works its way through the court system, time and time and time again, the legislative process has favored The Episcopal Church. I don't have the time or the inclination to track down every story (have at it, if you wish), but there are two notable incidents that caught my eye.

The first is that the Georgia Supreme Court ruled that Christ Church, Savannah, GA and its property (valued at nearly $3 million) belong to the national Episcopal Church, not the local congregation.

The court’s 6-1 ruling upheld earlier rulings by the state Court of Appeals and Chatham County Superior Court Judge Michael Karpf.

The 45-page majority opinion written by Justice David Nahmias found that the First Amendment’s guarantee to freedom of religion “allows the local congregation and its members to leave the Episcopal Church and worship as they please, like all other Americans, but it does not allow them to take with them property that has for generations been accumulated and held by a constituent church of the Protestant Episcopal Church in the United States of America.”

The second is that the governing board of Trinity Cathedral in downtown Pittsburgh has voted, 11-7, to affiliate with the Episcopal Diocese of Pittsburgh more than three years after a majority of parishes left to form the more conservative Anglican Diocese of Pittsburgh.

The Episcopal diocese has about 9,000 members in 29 parishes. The Anglicans have about 20,000 members in 74 congregations.

The governing board and the cathedral's congregation approved a resolution in October 2008 to let the cathedral continue to represent both groups, but congregation officials said the dual affiliation was making it difficult to grow.

I chose these two stories because I think they speak to the sadness and continued contentious nature of this schism. We are, alas, completely incompatible. And, it's costing us tons of money to discover what many of us already knew. I think it makes Jesus weep.

Meanwhile, it is important to note that an earthquake rocked the National Cathedral in Washington, DC, causing structural damage that will require millions to repair.

4. "Jesus meets the money changers. Again": Trinity Wall Street and Occupy Wall Street

At first, Trinity Wall Street and the movement known as Occupy Wall Street tried to work together, but after the "occupyers" of the OWS movement were evicted from Zuccotti Park, OWS tried to get TWS to allow them to use a vacant lot owned by TWS known as Duarte Park. The church declined, calling the proposed encampment “wrong, unsafe, unhealthy and potentially injurious.”

Even Bishop Mark Sisk of the Diocese of New York and Presiding Bishop Katharine Jefferts Shori wrote public letters of agreement. Archbishop Desmond Tutu, who was initially supportive, took a few steps back in his second statement - a fairly transparent piece of evidence that the folks at TWS and 815 had made a few overseas phone calls.

This all happened as the Christmas season was full upon us, bringing up interesting theological questions about the need to "occupy" time and place if transformation is going to happen.

I should also note that, across the Pond, the Dean and the Canon of St. Paul's Cathedral resigned over the decision of the Cathedral to deny access of the LSX (London Stock Exchange) "occupyers" to the Cathedral, which brought about a few reversals of the decision. Well done! Good form!

5. "Arrested theology": Bishop George Packard arrested for civil disobedience

On December 17th, George Packard, retired Bishop Suffragan of the Armed Forces, along with several others, including two Episcopal priests, were arrested for trespassing as he climbed a ladder and scaled the fence the surrounded Duarte Park. There he was, in his purple cassock, going over the fence. And there he was, handcuffed and sitting on a bench with the rest of the demonstrators, surrounded by the NYPD Swat Team. Looking that those two pictures, I, personally, have never been more proud to be an Episcopalian.

Bishop Packard wrote on his blog:

I am still baffled that the Episcopal Church of which I have been a member all my life could not--through Trinity--find some way to embrace these thousands of young people in our very diminishing ranks. (Every year for the last five years we have lost 14,000 members.) Just as we pioneered an awareness of the full membership for the LBGT community what's happening here? How hard would it have been for Trinity to convene legal counsel and say, "Give us some options so that a charter could be granted over the winter months?"

I had proposed that to the Rector and I still think it was a solution. Occupy Wall Street gets a home over the winter (one that would offer food for the Homeless and a clinic--truly bring alive dead space) and Trinity would have the assurance that the lease would return to them safe and sound come Spring. Everybody wins.

Except, the way it turned out, The Episcopal Church in general and Trinity Wall Street in particular lost. What did we lose, exactly? Credibility. As Christians who are all about justice and transformation. Big Time. No wonder the fastest growing religion is "The Nones" - those who profess to be "spiritual but not religious" - and claim no religious affiliation. This story is far from over. Stay tuned.

6. "Restructuring for ~~mission~~ - er, dollars": The Sauls Plan

At the September 20th meeting of the House of Bishops, Stacy Sauls, former bishop of Lexington and the new COO of The Episcopal Church gave a power point presentation which used eight separate slides to list the church's 75 commissions, committees, agencies and boards -- those he could readily identify, he said -- and another five slides to list the 46 Episcopal Church Center departments and offices, all of which have multiple reporting structures.

He noted that, as it stands in the current budget process, governance is funded first and then asked, "What would happen if we reversed that priority, starting with mission?" Based on that, he continued, what if, in creating a hypothetical annual budget of $27 million, $19 million of that budget went toward mission and the remaining $8 million toward overhead? (The current budget is closer to $35 million, he said.)

Sounds good, on the surface, right? Except that the Sauls' proposal was made without any consultation with any of those 75 commissions, committees and boards or 46 Episcopal Church Center's departments and offices. Including the President of the House of Deputies, Bonnie Anderson.

Bishop Sauls offered the bishops a "model" resolution for each diocese to submit to the 77th General Convention in 2012 for consideration. The model resolution would call for a special commission to be charged with "presenting a plan to the church for reforming its structures, governance, administration, and staff to facilitate this church's faithful engagement in Christ's mission."

Excuse my left eyebrow, raised in suspicion, but I don't think any plan that does not begin with a full consultation with the affected members - much less the President of the House of Deputies - is at all about mission. Look for this to be a story that gains a sturdier set of legs as we move deeper into 2012 and closer to General Convention where the Very Big News will be the Budget.

7. "Be a blessing - give a blessing": SCLM proposes Rites of Blessing

The Episcopal Church Standing Commission on Liturgy and Music (SCLM) has released educational materials and other information surrounding its plan to ask General Convention to authorize a three-year trial use of its proposed rite for blessing same-gender unions.

During that same time period the church also would reflect on its understanding of marriage in light of changes in both societal norms and civil law if convention agrees to a related resolution the commission will propose, according to the Rev. Ruth Meyers, SCLM chair.

According to Meyers, the 18 month process included "a wide consultative process" with "input from a number of people" before being ready to present the final draft to the church of a three year trial use of proposed rite of blessings and more conversation about the civil and spiritual nature of marriage and blessings.

Dr. Meyers, might you speak with Bishop Sauls about "restructuring for "mission"? Oh, and while you've got cell phone in hand, why not call Lambeth Palace and speak with Archbishop Williams about a similar process for The Anglican Covenant?

8. "On the road again": The Travels of the Presiding Bishop

Katharine Jefferts Schori travels the Globe - England, Scotland, Canada, Africa, Asia - as a tireless ambassador for Christianity in general and The Episcopal Church in particular. She visits. She preaches. She presides. She inspires. She challenges. She charms. Well, most of the time, except in those places - like a certain Cathedral in England where the Archbishop of Canterbury allowed her to carry but not wear her mitre. And, of course, she was "disinvited" by the Archbishop of Sudan to visit his province because "it remains difficult for us to invite you when elements of your church continue to flagrantly disregard biblical teaching on human sexuality".

Well, there it is then. Which brings up a question in my mind about the whole nature of the office of Presiding Bishop. Is she a "presider" or an "ambassador" and how much of her time ought to be devoted to each? As long as her COO brought up the whole issue of "restructuring for mission", I think it's time to try and get our heads wrapped around the whole concept of a "presiding" bishop who spends so much time away from the office. That's not a criticism. That's an observation and a question.

I'd love to see a bit more of a breakdown of her schedule to see just how much time our Primate spends on matters Episcopal and domestic vs. matters Anglican and 'foreign' and how that distribution of time is understood, given our theological understanding of what it means to be a Primate and a Presiding Bishop - if we even have a theology of that office. That's not going to make headlines, but inquiring minds do want to know. I mean, as long as we're talking about 'mission' - which is really all we seem to do about mission. Talk about it. And, how we should be doing it. And how we can restructure for it. Anything but actually doing it.

9. "One strike and yer out?": The Case of Bede Parry

This is an ugly story about a former Roman Catholic monk who was received as an Episcopal priest even after he admitted to sexual misconduct with a minor. That's a bad enough story line but then it gets worse because the bishop who received Parry into our fold was none other than Katharine Jefferts Schori, now our Presiding Bishop, of course, when she was bishop of Nevada.

"I made the decision to receive him," Jefferts Schori said in a statement, "believing that he demonstrated repentance and amendment of life and that his current state did not represent a bar to his reception."

From all reports, Parry has lived up to that repentance and has amended his life. The problem arose, however, because Parry resigned from All Saints' Episcopal Church in Las Vegas when a civil lawsuit was filed alleging that he abused a minor in 1987. At the time of the alleged abuse, Parry was a monk and choir director at Conception Abbey in Conception, Mo.

Current Nevada Bishop Dan Edwards said Thursday that Parry has not been accused of wrongdoing since his Episcopal ordination. "His voluntary resignation was for the good of the church." Parry has not functioned as a priest since his June resignation and will not be permitted to return to ministry, Edwards said.

All sorts of questions have been asked about that process of reception and how much was known and by whom and when and how. It's all so awful that the temptation to minimize or 'duck and run' is great, but it does beg the questions: Do we believe what we preach and teach about 'repentance' and 'amendment of life' and where do we draw the line?

10. "I wanna be you": The ABC meets The Pope

Well, truth be told, this entry is here because it really is last. Honestly? I couldn't find ten top stories in The Episcopal Church and Anglican Communion that were really newsworthy, so this one is really a filler. That being said, it occurs to me that it's a way to end this list the way it began: with a story about the increasing efforts to centralize power in the institutional church at all levels.

The Pope has been busy devising ways to 'steal Anglican sheep'. Indeed, just last month, Cardinal Donald Wuerl announced that Pope Benedict XVI will establish an ordinariate for American Anglicans who wish to enter into full communion with the Catholic Church. Two Anglican communities--one in Texas, the other in Maryland--have entered into full communion in recent months and are expected to become part of the ordinariate. The Pontiff established the Personal Ordinariate of Our Lady of Walsingham in England and Wales in January 2011

Meanwhile, Rowan seeks to be thoroughly Anglican and 'cordial' to El Papa. In his ecumenical letter to the churches, Rowan wrote:

"Whatever stories we tell ourselves, whatever strategies we develop for keeping ourselves safe, the truth is always that being human is being subject to change and to the risk of suffering. Solidarity must now find expression in humility and generosity, and in the search for true justice for all."

All this whilst Rowan continues to work on establishing the Anglican Covenant as the enforceable law in the Communion. So much for "humility and generosity" in the "search for true justice for all".

Meanwhile, our Presiding Bishop exhibits all those characteristics and walks into a Cathedral in the Church of England with her "hat" literally in her hand, and the Pope eats our lunch in our own backyard. You know, you just can't make this stuff up!

So, there it is, kiddies: My perspective - and those of a few faithful readers of the blog and my FB page - on The Episcopal Year in Review.

I'm delighted that the election and consecration of Mariann Budde as the first woman to be bishop of the Diocese of Washington, DE is not headline news. That's the best news, I think, of 2011.

As I consider it, 2012 has to be better. Overall, 2011 couldn't have been much worse.

Then again, 2012 will bring us General Convention AND the Church of England Synod which will consider both the "appointment" of women to the episcopacy and the ratification/approval/acceptance of The Anglican ~~Covenant~~ Contract.

Fasten your seat belts, dearies. Looks like may well be a bumpy ride after all.

All the (LGBT) news that's fit to print

2011-12-30T08:40:00.001-05:00

This time of year, the media works over time to bring us the Top Ten "Whatevers" of the past year.

There are various retrospectives on a variety of topics. To my mind, it's sort of a back-handed thank you from the News Media to everyone who "made the news" for "making the news" - and sold their newspapers, magazines, air time and generally increased their market share.

Religion has its own Top Ten.

Time Magazine listed Mormonism as it's top religious story, in a list that included the Beatification of Pope J2P2 (John Paul II), the indictment of Kansas City Roman Catholic Bishop Robert Finn on misdemeanor charges for not telling the police of a likely case of abuse of minors, and the death of Sathya Sai Baba, the most famous guru in India.

The Religion Newswriters Association voted Osama bin Laden’s death (and the faith response to it) their number one story in a list that included Harold "Don't They Know It's The End of the World" Camping, Rob "Love Wins" Bell, and Mississippi’s Personhood initiative.

Interestingly enough, no one in the thirty year history of the RNA was named "Religion Newsmaker of the Year" because there was a virtual three-way tie between Harold Camping, Pope Benedict XVI and Texas Governor Rick Perry.

I mean, really! Could you pick a "winner" from that list?

Never mind. Don't answer that.

Religion Dispatches ran an interesting list of the "Top 2011 Religion Stories That Weren’t".

Author Peter Laarman, former senior minister of New York’s Judson Memorial (UCC) Church and present executive director of Progressive Christians Uniting, made a list of the stories that should have been more in the news, but weren’t.

Two of the ten stories were different sides of the same LGBT Christian coin. Here they are:

4. Identity Crisis Within a Queer-Positive Christian Denomination

The Metropolitan Community Church came into its own in the ’70s and ’80s when most other denominations were distinctly unwelcoming. Now that so many mainline churches are totally okay with gay people, the MCC is losing members in some locations and wondering about its raison d'etre. The 2007 defection of the huge Dallas-based Cathedral of Hope to the UCC may have been a sign of things to come: the 88% who voted to leave felt that the MCC’s gay-friendly platform was simply too narrow; they wanted to be a full-spectrum progressive congregation. As the MCC begins to wane in the U.S., however, it continues to grow rapidly overseas—in countries where established Christian groups remain consistently hostile to queer people.

5. Latino Catholics Distinctly More Gay-Friendly Than Latino Evangelicals

A too-little-noticed 2010 poll by the Public Religion Research Institute found that a majority of Latino Catholics in California (57%) said they would vote to allow gay and lesbian couple to marry, compared to just 22% of Latino Protestants. This same Catholic-Protestant divide within the Latino community was evident across a wide range of public policy issues related to gay and lesbian rights. The Latino Catholic latitudinariansm on marriage tracks another almost-unreported finding, to wit: that the single most gay-friendly religious body in the U.S., bar none, is the lay Catholic community. Bishops, are you listening?

Admittedly, Story #4 does not come as a huge surprise to many LGBT Activists. It never surprises me that, once LGBT people become more assimilated into congregations and communities, they turn the efforts of their activism to broader issues of justice, working to right the wrongs of economic, ecological and racial injustice.

Which is really where most of us would rather be, as a matter of fact. Indeed, it's where most of us started and learned how to organize and work for justice until we began to realize that no one was going to work for full equality for LGBT people if we didn't begin our own movement.

I don't think that's an "identity crisis". I think that's an affirmation of the fullness of our identity as religious human beings who love God and seek to serve the people of God through our faith and love in Christ Jesus.

The fact that MCC - and other LGBT Christian organizations like Integrity and Dignity - are growing in countries where there is open Christian hostility to LGBT people says a great deal about the nature and identity of faith-based communities that serve oppressed minorities.

Neither am I surprised - but I admit that I am fascinated, however - by Story #5.

The single most gay-friendly religious body in the U.S. - "BAR NONE" - is the lay Roman Catholic community?

Who knew?

Well, I suppose other non-ordained Roman Catholics - and, probably some ordained ones as well - who, no doubt, are the same ones who support (and exercise) reproductive rights (including being pro-choice on abortion), work for economic justice, advocate for the abolition of the death penalty as well as the abolition of mandatory clerical celibacy, and promote the ordination of women.

It's the other side of the "seamless garment ethic" of "support of all life".

It's a little messier and not all the threads are tied together but I suspect it's more solid and united (57% !!) as the side the RC priests and bishops present to the rest of the world.

That's because many priests and bishops aren't listening to their own people.

There are none so deaf as those who hear but refuse to listen.

All that having been said, my curiosity is also peaked by the term "Latino Protestants". I suspect that's too broad a term. I'm thinking the more accurate term would be "Latino Evangelicals / Pentecostals". That would be more consistent with my experience.

Which should provide activists for Marriage Equality with a plan and strategy for their efforts.

I think a little "face time" with some "Latino Protestants" is in order. I'm not talking about "in your face" face time. I'm talking about being more like a "Stealth Queer for Jesus".

Let's put some of that LGBT "full-spectrum progressive platform" into action in faith-based Latino service agencies. Let's invite some of our RC allies to work along side us so the Latino Evangelicals can see that "all things work together for the good for those who love God" (Romans 8:28).

Let's learn to become bilingual - I'm talking both Spanish and the love of Jesus in action - in these communities.

Let's let them know that we are Christians by our love of all God's people - even when "people may hate and revile you" in the name of Jesus.

That's not going guarantee that we will receive love in return. Neither is it going to sway votes in 2012 - but it may begin to have an affect by 2015.

We'll be the progressive tortoise to the evangelical hare.

Slow and steady wins the race.

With any luck - and some continued hard but strategic work - we may not take issues like Marriage Equality and the ordination of LGBT people completely out of the Religious News headlines, but I think we've got a good shot at making it "old news".

Here's a headline I'd love to see: "Homophobia: SooOOoo Yesterday's News".

Now THAT would be news that would be fit to print!

P.S. I'd love to hear your thoughts on the "Top Ten Stories of 2011 from The Episcopal Church / Anglican Communion." Send them on in the Comments Section and I'll post the Top Ten before December 31st.

Christmas Memories

2011-12-28T14:14:00.001-05:00

Angelic Voices Past

One of the things I love about Christmas is using it as an excuse to be in touch with old friends and relatives.

Yesterday, I had a one hour conversation with my 85 year old aunt. The one who was a nun for - oh, I think it was - 12 or 18 years.

My aunt would want you to know that she did not leave the convent in order to get married. She would want me to be sure to tell you that she was out of the convent for three years before she married the man who would become my "Uncle Joe".

No, she left the convent because she had contracted tuberculosis and, as she tells it, "was on the verge of a nervous breakdown". She was a member of an order of religious women who could only be described as "spartan" in their lifestyle. She says they didn't eat regularly or well. They ran an "orphanage" in those days, and "all the food went to feed the kids first".

Over the years, as I have heard her repeat the story, I hear tinges of anger about her convent years. Oh, she's still a faithful Roman Catholic. That would never change. Being Portuguese and Roman Catholic is a bit like being a Jew. It's who you are and what you believe about God.

That's no so much true any more - about the Portuguese or the Jews - but for men and women of my parent's generation, that was The Truth, the Whole Truth, and nothing but The Truth.

She said that, once she got well, she tried to re-enter the convent but the Mother Superior said she'd have to start the process all over again. "I wasn't going to do THAT again," she said, the horror still evident in her voice all those many years later, so she left for good.

One can only wonder what doing "THAT all over again" was all about.

Even so, in some ways, a piece of her heart will always be there, in that spartan convent filled with devout women of prayer, caring for "orphans" in the years during The Depression and after WWII.

She met her husband two years later and they were married. They bought a tenement house in the same town where they were both born, and had two children. It was not an easy life, but they were happy.

"Mostly happy" is what she says.

We talked about the struggles of family life and came back, as we always do, to my grandmother, who defined the term "struggles of family life".

Some of you have heard me say before that she had twenty pregnancies and twenty-two children, fifteen of whom lived to adulthood. By the time I was a child, there were nine left. As I write this now, there are four left - three girls and one boy.

"Oh, there was always laughter when your grandmother was around," said my aunt. I do remember lots of laughter in my grandmother's house. I didn't understand a lot of the humor but I knew some of it was stuff I wasn't supposed to hear.

"Ma," my mother or one of my aunts would exclaim, "the kids are around!"

My aunt told me one of those stories. So, it was at my aunt's bridal shower. One of her friends gave her a large envelope stuffed with $100 in $1 bills. They poured out onto her lap, along with some confetti and - oh, no! - a strip of condoms.

It was meant to "shock" and "embarrass" the former nun - which worked perfectly - but it only served to peak my grandmother's curiosity. She had honestly never seen a condom before and, more to the point, had no idea about their use.

Well, with twenty pregnancies and twenty-two children, that really shouldn't come as a surprise.

When my grandmother asked what they were, my aunt's embarrassment deepened - to the howls of delight from the rest of the women in the room.

"They're balloons," my aunt said, sheepishly.

My grandmother, of course, didn't believe her, so she tore one open and started to blow it up. Like a balloon. The women in the room howled even louder.

At this point, my grandfather and uncles became curious and walked into the room to find out what was going on. They took one look at my grandmother, laboring over the inflated condom, huffing and puffing, and the room exploded in laughter.

My grandfather, however, was not amused. "What do you think you're doing?" he bellowed. My grandmother tried to explain what her daughter had told her.

Disgusted, he shot a stinging look at my aunt and then explained to my grandmother what condoms were and how they were used.

My grandmother looked at my grandfather, looked at the condom, then looked back at my grandfather and said, "Now? After 22 babies? Now you tell me?"

My aunt laughed and laughed as if the event had happened yesterday. And, I joined her in that laughter, hearing the memory of my grandmother's laughter dancing all around me.

My aunt also told me that she was diagnosed with breast cancer a few months back. "At 85!" she says, "Imagine!" She thought about it and prayed about it and has decided not to have surgery or chemo.

"The way I figure it, at my age, cancer grows more slowly. I have about three or four good years left. If I had the surgery and the chemo, maybe I'd have four or five years left, but they wouldn't necessarily be good ones."

"So, she says, "I'm going to take my chances. I mean, I'm 85. Imagine!"

Actually, I can't imagine my aunt at age 85, much less with breast cancer. I remember clearly when she and my mother were my age and my grandmother was her age.

I thought they were "ancient of days" then.

And I? I was going to be young forever. And, ever.

Don't we all? Indeed, I still am. And, intend to be. For as long as I can.

I look at my own children and my grandchildren and I wonder how they see me. I wonder what they will remember of these days of our lives.

I was sharing this story earlier in the day with a dear friend, talking about the food I had made in honor of my grandmother, and he said to me, "You know, you are slipping in the Portuguese into your family without them even knowing it." I laughed and had to admit that he was probably right.

"You really are becoming your grandmother," he said, which startled me at first.

Perhaps I am. I only hope that is true.

Christmas presents come and Christmas presents go, but the greatest Christmas present really is the way we remember each other and are present for and to each other, in whatever way we can.

Even if it's just a one hour phone call with an aged aunt, newly diagnosed with cancer.

But the greatest gift of these holidays is the memories we have and share with each other at Christmas.

If God is male, then male is god

2011-12-27T11:22:00.002-05:00

War on Women?

What War on Women?

We love women. Some of us hire them. Some of us even marry them.

But, ride on a public bus?

Whoa! Wait a minute. Now you're talking crazy.

Last Friday, Tanya Rosenblit boarded a bus in her hometown of Ashdod, just outside of Jerusalem, to travel to that most holy city for an appointment.

She knew that Egged, the bus company that owned the bus and Israel's largest bus firm, provided special segregated buses for its routes through Orthodox and ultra-Orthodox neighborhoods.

That deal had been struck more than a decade ago. Reportedly, about 50 bus lines currently have separate seating. Their routes run mainly through ultra-religious neighborhoods and skip over central bus stations to avoid catering to the general public.

On these bus routes, women are typically required to enter through the back doors and wear modest clothes that cover their arms and legs. Those who attempt to sit at the front are often subjected to assaults by male passengers, mostly verbal but sometimes physical.

Indeed, in 2006, an American-Israeli woman was slapped, kicked, punched and pushed by a gang of ultra-religious men when she refused to move to the back of a Jerusalem bus.

The gender-segregated buses remain despite the Supreme Court ruling last January for the first time that they were illegal. Nevertheless, the transportation ministry now requires buses to post stickers inside that say every passenger could choose his or her own seating.

That's because sometimes, even ultra-Orthodox men and women have to travel outside of their segregated neighborhoods to travel - on what remain as public buses - to places where men and women in the rest of society do not live segregated lives.

So, Tanya Rosenblit boarded the public bus which happens to travel a route through a neighborhood populated by the Haredim - a Hebrew term referring to their fear of God. They are a tight-knit community making up about 10 per cent of Israel's population of 7.7 million. They usually remain in their own neighborhoods or towns, where women who don't wear long dark dresses or cover their heads with hats, scarves or wigs frequently face quiet or open hostility.

Ms. Rosenblit dressed appropriately - modestly, out of respect for her fellow passengers - and, when she boarded the bus, took a seat behind the bus driver. In the front of the bus. On a public bus. On her way to Jerusalem.

Rosa Parks

She didn't intend to become "Israel's Rosa Parks" and emerge from her bus ride as a symbol of the escalating tensions between Israel's secular Jews and the ultra-religious.

Then again, Rosa Parks didn't ever intend to become a symbol of the Civil Rights Movement in this country. When asked later why she did what she did, she would say that her feet were tired and she sat down.

Ms. Rosenblit wrote about her experience and posted in on her FaceBook page. She also took lots of pictures. You can read her account and see some of the pictures here.

She begins her account with these words:

The driver looked at the station where I was standing and didn’t stop. I had to signal him by raising my hand for him to stop. When I entered the bus he looked surprised. He explained that the only ones who go on the bus are Orthodox Jews. I sat behind him in the first row and asked for him to tell me when we get to my station.

At the next stop, men from the Haridem began to board the bus. She was appalled when an ultra-Orthodox male passenger cursed her and demanded that she move to the back portion because he did not want to sit behind a woman.

Photo by Tanya Rosenblit

She refused. Suddenly, that refusal began to draw a crowd of about 20 ultra-Orthodox men, all of them bearded and wearing their traditional black garb and broad hats, to gather in protest outside the bus's door.

To her surprise, a policeman summoned by the bus driver asked her to "respect" the men by shifting to a back row.

Respect the men.

Shift to a back row.

Any of this sound familiar?

I know what you're thinking. This happened in Israel. With ultra-orthodox Jews. That's not how it is here. In America. Women are totally respected here. That would never happen here. In America.

Right. Here, we just throw women "under the bus" when political deals are made to cut services to women who live in poverty. Services like education. Health Care. Assistance to help feed their families. Employment opportunities with decent (but not necessarily equal) pay. Access to information about and services for Reproductive Rights.

I know what you're thinking. This was not about the color of her skin as it was for Rosa Parks. This is different. This is about religious tensions.

Right. I would argue that racism is its own form of religion. Indeed, Scripture - Hebrew and Christian - have been used throughout history to support the superiority of Caucasians and the inferiority of anyone whose skin is dark(er).

I know what you're thinking. This is about her gender and how some people - especially religious "fanatics" - see women as "The Weaker Sex". You know. Because of Eve and what happened in The Garden. Just give them time. They'll come to understand about the equality of the sexes. Eventually.

Right. I would argue that sexism, being the "original sin" recorded in Scripture, is the basis for racism, homophobia and heterosexism. As long as there is sexism, there will be racism, homophobia and hetrosexism.

Need some evidence? A little bit of "proof"?

Credit: Reuters/Max Rossi

In his Christmas message to the Roman Catholic Church, Pope Benedict XVI stated that while the Church needs to “defend the earth, water, air, as gifts of the creation that belongs to all of us [... ], it must also protect the human being from his own “destruction.”

“It is necessary that there be something such as an ecology of man, understood in the proper manner,” he said.

“It is not outmoded metaphysics,” the Pontiff affirmed, “when Church speaks of the nature of the human being as man and woman, and demands that this order of creation be respected.”

"The rain forests certainly deserve our protection, but man as creature indeed deserves no less,” he said.

“What is often expressed and understood by the term ‘gender,’ is definitively resolved in the self-emancipation of the human being from creation and the Creator,” Benedict warned.

“Gender” as used in the pope’s address is broad enough to encompass anyone who doesn’t completely conform with their assigned sexual roles; including homosexuals, bisexuals, transgender and others.

Benedict XVI explained that great theologians have “qualified marriage, that is to say, the link for life between man and woman, as a sacrament of creation, instituted by the Creator.”

See? It's just the "natural order" of things. Just the way "God intended for us to be happy". We just need to obey the "natural order" of God who created men.....Oh, yes.... and THEN women. Oh, and, remember how she messed that up in The Garden.

Why, see? It's Eve's fault that the rainforests are in destruction. Anyone who is like Adam can save the world. Anyone who is like Eve is potentially dangerous to all of human kind.

Saving humanity from homosexual or transsexual behavior is just as important as saving the rainforest from destruction.

Right. It's crazy talk, is what it is. Let me hasten to remind you that these words were spoken by The Pope - the undisputed leader of the vast majority of Christians throughout the world.

Crazy like a fox, is what I say.

Feminist theologian, Mary Daly, once posited that "If God is male, then male is god."

Tanya Rosenblit

I don't think you'll find more hard and fast evidence of that than what happened last Friday to Ms. Tanya Rosenblit on that bus to Jerusalem.

Ms. Rosenblit wrote:

I lived in Israel all my life. I was brought up in a free country and I was taught the value of freedom as a basic right that could never be undermined by anyone. All my life, during my teens, my military service, my university years and then after I always felt as equal among my peers. I was always proud to be a woman and never felt deprived or weakened by men, until today.

Today has come for women and men around the world to stand up for the Tanya Rosenblits of the world who want to take a seat on a public bus and travel, without harassment, to their destination.

Today has come for women and men around the world to live respectfully in the tensions of our vastly differing religious beliefs and values.

Today has come for women and men in this country to take a stand for the equality and democracy which we say we cherish.

In a few short days, we will be ushering in the New Year of 2012. Before the end of that year we will be electing - or, please God, re-electing - a President of The United States.

A great deal is on the line - including the status of women, especially women who live in poverty. I hope, when you think about stepping into that voting booth, you'll remember Tanya Rosenblit and help to vote someone in (or out of) office that will bring about an end to the War on Women.

Indeed, I hope you'll not forget the Christmas Season we now celebrate with the central message of "Emmanuel" - God with us.

I don't know if God is male or female. I personally chose to believe that Mary Daly is right and that God is beyond gender.

The Eye of God

I don't know if God is black, white, yellow or red. I personally chose to believe that Ruth McBride, the Jewish woman who chose to marry a Black man in the 1940's, is right when she taught her twelve children that God is "The Color of Water."

I also personally believe that you have the absolute right to believe whatever you chose to believe.

What I don't believe is that I have the right to impose those beliefs on you.

Neither do you have the right to impose your beliefs on me.

Not in terms of my value as a human being because of my gender or skin color or sexual orientation or educational background, or physical or intellectual or emotional ability, or class status, or who I chose to love and how I chose to fashion my life, which may not be in accordance with your values and beliefs but does no harm.

Neither do you have the right to determine where I chose to sit on a public bus.

That, dear Pope Benedict, is part - a small part, but a central component - of the "sacramental nature of life, instituted by the Creator".

No one - not the church or any one individual - has the right to define or determine how it is that I chose the "outward and visible" signs of the "inward and spiritual" grace of my life.

Here's the "Ecology of Humankind" which we need to protect and defend:

If God is 'Emmanuel', then God is with us.

No matter who or where we are, or what or how we believe.

Arroz Doce on the Feast of Stephen

2011-12-26T16:26:00.000-05:00

I was looking through my old (1970 version) of The Betty Crocker Cookbook that my mother bought for me as a wedding present. The one that is now all taped up with duct tape and stuffed with pieces of paper on which I've scribbled various recipes.

I was looking for the trusty, reliable chart that tells you how to cook various cuts of meat. I wanted to be certain that the Christmas Pork Loin - which had been marinating in garlic, rosemary and thyme - would be cooked to absolute perfection.

I lost my grasp of the book, and everything tumbled out onto the floor. As I started to pick everything up - Lo! - what did my wondering eyes did I see, but my grandmother's recipe for Arroz Doce - Portuguese Sweet Rice.

It was like a little unexpected Christmas present.

Julie, Mia & Bob

For a deeply religious country like Portugal, there is no end to the opportunity to dabble in the sin of gluttony with the staggering volume of its sweets. One of them is Arroz Doce, made from Carolino rice from the alluvial plains of the Ribatejo - although, all I had was Arborio Rice. (I wouldn't use any other grain, however).

Suddenly, there was nothing to be done but to make a pot of it in honor of 'Minha avo"

I had forgotten how long one has to stand over the stove to cook it. The really wonderful thing was that I pulled up a chair as did one of our daughters and we talked and talked and talked while I stirred lazily with a wooden spoon - just as I had done when my grandmother made it.

For special occasions, she used to serve it warm, sandwiched between crackly layers of puff pastry, but I didn't have that either, so I just served it in small cups, dusted with fresh ground cinnamon and some whipped cream, sprinkled with red and green sugar.

Ms. Conroy sampled some of it - just as soon as it had cooled down to a pleasant warmth - but she mixed in some raisins. Ah, the Irish! Whatever is to be done?

It's really "Alimento dos anjo" ("Food of the Angels") when it is warm, but it can be made the day ahead and reheated on low in the microwave. Stir in a bit or milk or cream if it's too thick.

So, you'll need:

Some all-purpose flour, for dusting (optional)
One sheet (17 1/4 ounce pkg) Frozen puff pastry, thawed (optional)
3/4 cup Carnaroli or Arborio Rice
Zest of 1/2 lemon, removed in long strips with a vegetable peeler
pinch of Kosher salt
4 cups water
4 cups whole milk (keep another 1/2 cup in reserve, if needed)
2/3 cup granulated sugar
4 large egg yolks
Confectioner's sugar, for sprinkling
Ground cinnamon, for sprinkling

Directions:

If you are going to serve this with puff pastry, crack up the oven to 400 F. line a baking sheet with parchment paper and set aside.

Lightly dust a work surface with flour and roll out the pastry to smooth it. Using a pizza cutter or sharp knife, trim the pastry into an 8x8 inch square. Cut the square crosswise and then vertically in half, so you have 4 squares. Cut each in half on the diagonal.

Space the 8 dough triangles evenly on the parchment, and bake until well risen and golden. 10-15 minutes. Transfer the triangles to a wire rack to cool.

Meanwhile, combine the rice, zest, salt and 4 cups of water in a medium saucepan. Bring to a boil, lower the heat to medium, and cook, uncovered, until almost all the water has evaporated. About 30 minutes. Adjust the heat as needed so the rice doesn't scorch.

About 5 minutes before the rice is ready, heat the milk and granulated sugar in a saucepan over medium heat, stirring occasionally, until wisps of steam curl up and the sugar has dissolved. Turn down the heat to low and keep the milk at a gentle simmer. Beat the egg yolks in a small bowl.

Once the water in the pan of rice has almost evaporated, begin adding to hot milk mixture by ladleful, stirring lazily with a wooden spoon. Keep up this rhythm of adding milk, stirring, and cooking until the rice "slumps gently when mounded" (that's the translation from my grandmother's Portuguese - isn't it cool?) and all the milk is incorporated. Remove the pan from heat.

Spoon some of the thickened rice mixture into the beaten yolks and quickly stir to incorporate. Drizzle the egg mixture back into the pan, stirring constantly. Return the pan to low heat and cook for 3 minutes. The consistency should be "lava-like" (again, my grandmother's description). Remove the lemon zest. Let the pudding cool to warm, stirring occasionally. If the rice thickens too much, add more milk, warmed over low heat.

To serve, split open the pastry triangles. Place the bottom halves on plates, spoon the pudding on top and crown with their mates. Sprinkle with confectioner's sugar and cinnamon.

Or: spoon into a small serving bowl, dust with confectioner's sugar and cinnamon and crown with a heavy dollop of whipped cream.

Prepare to spend at least another 30 minutes in the gym the next day but it will be sooOOoo worth it.

If Good King Wenceslas comes by, on this Feast of Stephen, you'll have something wonderful to return the favor for his once having taken his page and gone out of his way to feed that poor peasant who lived "a good league hence / Underneath the mountain / Right against the forest fence / By Saint Agnes' fountain."

And, you can sing him the last verse of "Good King Wenceslas"

In his master's steps he trod
Where the snow lay dinted
Heat was in the very sod
Which the Saint had printed
Therefore, Christian folk, be sure
Wealth or rank possessing
Ye who now will bless the poor
Shall yourselves find blessing

Merry Second Day of Christmas and Happy Feast of Stephen!

Christmas Joy!

2011-12-25T15:01:00.000-05:00

Our home is full of wonderful people and pets, delicious odors from the kitchen, and great presents under the tree.

The Christmas Eve dinner was a grand success.

The Christmas Day dinner is in the oven.

On a whim, I made my grandmother's Arroz Doce (Sweet Rice) last night which was pronounced an unmitigated success by Ms. Conroy. It will serve as today's dessert.

Then again, it was served warm. And, she added raisins. I'll top it off with real whipped cream.

Some are napping - a food induced coma, no doubt.

Others are figuring out how the new gadget works.

Did I mention that I got a Kindle Fire for Christmas? Oh. My. God. Is this thing fabulous or what?

One of the best parts is now trying to figure out to whom to give my "old" Kindle.

That and watching the faces of the people to whom I gave presents.

I also got a travel book to Thailand, which will come in Very Handy when I go there to visit my friend in March to celebrate his 70th Birthday.

Life is good.

I hope yours is as well.

It's back into the kitchen for me. I've got some green beans to steam and then toss with some bacon, onions and garlic while the Pork Loin Roast finishes doing its thing. The homemade rolls have risen and will go into the oven while the roast "rests" on the counter.

I'll get my "rest" after everyone leaves tonight, which is always way too soon.

I never want this day to end.

Merry Christmas everybody!

Be not afraid

2011-12-24T18:52:00.000-05:00

The elusive sliver of light from a shadowed Earth is one of space tourist Guy Laliberte's most prized photos among those he took from the International Space Station in 2009.

A Sermon for the Eve of the Nativity of Our Lord

The Family Service - 4 PM

All Saint’s Church – Rehoboth Beach, DE

(the Rev’d Dr.) Elizabeth Kaeton

It’s always so wonderful to see the church filled with so many people! You all look so festive and happy. One might even say, merry and bright.

Well, most of you do. I know, I know. Some of you are here under duress. You’ve come under strict orders from Mom or Dad. Or, perhaps your appearance here is part of a deal you struck with someone in your family.

You know who you are.

I have a dear friend and colleague who is a priest in the Church of England who told me the following story which may strike a cord of resonance with you and bring you a smile.

A man in Scotland calls his son in London the day before Christmas Eve and says, "I hate to ruin your day but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough".

"Dad, what are you talking about?'" the son screams.

"We can't stand the sight of each other any longer", the father says. "We're sick of each other and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Leeds and tell her".

Frantically, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone, "They are NOT getting divorced", she shouts. "I'll take care of this".

She calls Scotland immediately and screams at her father, "You are NOT getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, do you hear me?" and hangs up.

The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife and says, "Done! Not only are they coming for Christmas - but they're paying their own way too."

Do NOT try this at home. Your mileage may vary.

I don’t know if that’s what got you into church tonight, but I’m awfully glad you’re here.

Tonight is the night when we suspend all rational thought and – just for tonight – begin to think about the possibility of miracles. Not ‘the miracle of medical science’ or the ‘magic of television or technology’.

No, I’m talking about the miracle of God who took on human flesh and came to live among us to know our sorrows and our joys; our sufferings as well as our celebrations.

I don’t know how to explain that to you. It’s something that is beyond human understanding and comprehension. Perhaps this little story of a Christmas Eve from my childhood may help.

I am the oldest of four children. – three girls and one boy. We lived in a small, three- bedroom apartment above my grandparents. My two younger sisters and I shared one bedroom and my little brother – whom we called ‘The Little Prince’ – had his own room.

Which I hated. I mean, I was the oldest. I should have my own room, shouldn’t I?

I fussed and complained about it. A lot. Indeed, on my 9th Christmas, that’s what I asked for – the only request I made: my own bedroom. I never thought I’d get it, and I’d be happy with whatever I got, but I thought it was certainly worth a shot.

On the day before Christmas Eve, I came home from school and went directly to my bedroom to plop my stuff on my bed. Imagine my surprise when my bed was not there! I rushed out to find my parents having coffee at the kitchen table, smiling broadly.

“Where’s my bed?” I asked, confused, and almost afraid to ask.

“Come with us,” my parents said as they led me to the door I knew led to the attic. Up the steep stairs we went. When we got to the top, my father opened the door and what to my wondering eyes did I see but my very own bedroom.

Oh, it was still the attic – my father promised to fix it up a bit more over the year – but it was my very own room.. There was my twin bed (I would later get new sheets and pillow cases and blankets), and a rug on the floor, and my bedside table – but no lamp. No electrical outlet. There was a bare light in the middle of the ceiling with a long string that was not far from my bed. My mother had put some bows on it to make it more festive.

It was far from perfect but it was absolutely perfect. I was thrilled beyond the telling.

That night, I couldn’t wait to get to bed. I got myself all tucked into my bed and my parents came up to say goodnight. As they left the room and I snuggled under my comforter, my parents called out, “Sweet dreams,” as they pulled on the string and turned out the light and closed the door behind them.

All of a sudden, the room was dark. Pitch. Black. Dark. And, I was sore afraid. I hate the dark. Even today. But, as a kid with a vivid imagination, I was in hyper overdrive. Panic began to set it. I tried to whistle, but my mouth was so dry, I could hardly pucker.

As the minutes ticked on, I started to tremble with fear. I couldn’t even see my hands in front of me, but somehow, they found themselves clasped together and I did the only thing I knew how to do. I started to pray.

“Dear Jesus,” I prayed from the bottom of my wildly beating 9-year old heart, “Please, if you are the Light of the World, would you please, please, please shed a little of it on me right now? Even just a little light from your birthday candle would do. Just enough to keep the monsters I’m sure are living under my bed away from me? Please?”

And just then, I heard my mother at the bottom of those long, narrow steps that led to my new, suddenly not-so-perfect bedroom. “Elizabeth? Are you okay?”

I wanted to scream, “No, I’m not. Please come and get me out of here!” But before I could get the words out, I heard her say, “I’ll just leave a light on for you, in case you need to go to the bathroom. Merry Christmas!”

And then, suddenly – magically! – there was light!

Just a little light. A small sliver at the bottom of the door at the top of the attic stairs. But, it was enough. I instantly felt a wave of relief pour itself over my body. I felt a wonderful peace and comfort. And, I knew my prayers had been answered.

I’m all grown up now. An intelligent, independent woman, capable of rational thinking and reasoned responses.

I’m not as afraid of the dark anymore, but sometimes, I find myself in such pretty dark emotional places that I scare myself. I’m thinking some of you know of what I speak.

I don’t believe in monsters under my bed anymore, but I do know that evil exists in the world. I have seen it and I suspect you have, too.

It’s times like that when I need nights like this. I think there’s a little child in each of us that – whether we care to admit it or not – needs nights like tonight. Nights when we can suspend all rational thinking and believe, just for one night – just for tonight – that miracles can and do happen.

We need one night when, even though it makes no sense – no sense at all – to believe that God knows our fears and our sorrows as well as our joys and our delights because God once took on human flesh and walked among us.

Because, I’m telling you – even though I can’t prove it empirically – that God was once among us as Jesus.

And, I’m telling you – even though it defies all logic – that Jesus lives on in me and in you. There is a little spark of the Divine in each one of us.

That is the light that glows especially bright on this night we call Christmas Eve.

It glows in the faces of the Christ child in each one of us, who lays his head in the humble manger of our hearts every day of the year.

You can see it especially in an act of kindness – like making sure someone who is hungry gets something to eat.

Or, visiting someone who is in prison so that s/he will know that s/he has not been forgotten.

Or, working for justice to change the systems that keep wide the chasm between rich and poor.

And, I’m telling you that all it takes in this dark, hurting world is a little sliver of light to chase away the shadows of fear and mend the broken places in our hearts.

Perhaps you could be that little sliver of light for someone this night, or the next, or the one after that.

Because that’s really what Christmas is all about. It’s why we come to church, even when we really don’t want to. To draw near to the Light of Christ that we may come to know the Prince of Peace and to bring that peace to the rest of the world.

Be not afraid, the angels said to the shepherds watching their flock that night so long ago in a field near Bethlehem. And, the light of a star shone so brightly that it led them right to where the Infant Jesus lay.

May you find that little sliver of light that will bring you to Jesus.

May you find the light of Christ in your own heart that you may lead others to Jesus.

May you know the Prince of Peace that you may be a vehicle of peace in the world.

May you believe in the miracle of the Incarnation that you may begin to see the miracle that is life.

And, if you can’t, be not afraid!

Just for tonight, believe in my belief until someone comes into your life and turns the light on in your darkness so that you will be able to find your own belief and peace and comfort and joy.

Amen.

Merry Chreeshmash!

2011-12-23T16:04:00.002-05:00

As I've been scurrying around preparing for Christmas - shopping, decorating, wrapping, writing cards, cleaning, polishing, ironing, planning menus, marketing, marinating, baking - I wonder how my Portuguese grandmother did it.

I mean, she had all those kids of her own, plus their spouses and their children, plus various cousins, nieces, nephews, and neighbors.

There were always platters of cookies everywhere - and these amazing Portuguese custard tarts which would absolutely melt in your mouth.

The crust was more like a very flaky filo and the custard was as light as air with just a hint of a lemony aftertaste.

I remember her making them in small tin cans - she used cat food cans which she collected, washed and boiled to a fare thee well before using them for baking these angelic treats.

She would also make a huge Bolo Rei - a King Cake - which was sweet - like Massa Sovada (or Pao Doce) - but had all these wonderful dried fruit on top to represent the jewels in the crown of Jesus, the Prince of Peace.

No, it was not a fruit cake. It wasn't a dense, dry cake with dried fruit and nuts. This was much more a bread - a very sweet, yellowy, yummy bread - with the dried fruit on top like crowns.

It also doubled as a cake for Tres Reis - Three Kings - on the Feast of the Epiphany, except the Christmas version had a fava bean baked into it.

The kid who found the fava bean was first to open their Christmas present on Christmas Eve. After midnight mass. Never before. Ever.

You could also count on a wonderful plate of Arroz Doce - Sweet Rice - somewhere on the table, which was sprinkled generously with nutmeg and cinnamon.

Very often, my grandmother would sprinkle on the cinnamon and nutmeg into a holiday message or decoration. Always written in Portuguese, which she would make certain one of us could read and translate before she allowed us to spoon some into our dish.

Children were encouraged to eat the Arroz Doce. In fact, even fussy eaters were allowed to pass up on the main course as long as they had a dish of Arroz Doce - which was made with eggs and cream and served in a bowl, swimming in heavy cream.

"Good, good," my grandmother would say in her broken English. "Is good for babies," she'd say, as my uncles eyed it from afar and she gave them "the look" to let the children eat it first.

My uncles and male cousins thought it was great stuff with which to line their stomachs before knocking back a few "boiler makers" (beer with a shot of whiskey in it) or a few rounds of "cachaca", a liquor made from fermented sugarcane juice.

My grandfather made his own beer, wine and cachaca in the cellar. He kept huge wooden barrels of the stuff - off the room from the boiler and away from my grandmother's canned vegetables and big ceramic pottery vats of Portuguese sausages and other cured meats which they had made sometime at the end of October during The Annual Pig Killing.

While my grandfather and uncles would lug up boxes of bottles of booze, my grandmother, mother and aunts would bring up great strings of the linguicia or cherico - spicy Portuguese sausages. My grandmother would then open up a few jars of stewed tomato and onion and fry them together with the fava beans she had grown in her own garden.

She would serve it on a great hunk of Portuguese bread - crusty on the outside, soft and chewy on the inside - slather the bread with butter, place the bread in the bottom of a bowl and then pour a huge ladle of the lunguicia and fava bean stew over the top.

You didn't need a spoon. We would eat the stuff with our fingers, then drink down the hot, spicy liquid at the end. If your throat and stomach were on fire with the spices, you would have to "neutralize" it with another tart or some of the sweet rice.

If my uncles got too close to the sweet rice, she would appear as if from out of nowhere, ladle in one hand, the other hand on her hip and say, "I breaka you face!" If they were already swaying from the cachaca, she would say, "I kicka you ass, you sombeech!"

I think those were really the only words she knew how to speak in English.

Oh, and she knew how to say, "Merry Chreeshmash". She greeted most people at the door - if she could. Most people just walked right in - the door was always open - and head directly to the kitchen to give her a kiss and your holiday greeting.

If you were smiling, she'd said, "Merry Chreeshmash. You hungry?".

If you were not smiling, she'd say, "Merry Chreeshmash! Wottsamatta? You hungry?"

Food, for my grandmother, was the universal language - sure to brighten your spirits (even if they were fine) and cure for whatever ailed you.

I'm probably forgetting half the things that were on my Grandmother's Christmas table - mostly because I didn't eat them.

Especially the Bacalhau which I didn't mind so much if it was fresco but at Christmas, she made it with the salted, dried cod that my grandfather and uncles had caught during the summer months of fishing off of East Cuttyhunk, a small island about 12 miles south of New Bedford and about 8 miles west of Gay Head, Martha's Vineyard.

It was Very Salty - enough to make your mouth pucker - and, of course, very spicy. Lots of hot peppers mixed with cinnamon, cardamom, nutmeg and other spices that are commonly used in Portuguese Cooking.

Oh, and then there were the fried smelts. Now, those I ate like candy.

She would drag the small fish through corn meal, salt and pepper, fry them up in butter and olive oil, and bring out the big iron cast skillet and plop it right in the middle of the table.

We would then rip off hunks of the Portuguese bread, slather some butter on them, and pick one up right out of the pan and eat the thing whole - bones and all - which just absolutely melted in your mouth.

I think, when I die and go to heaven, my grandmother will be waiting for me with a whole pan of fried smelts all to myself which I can follow up with an entire platter of those little custard tarts.

When I think back on it all, it was an amazing amount of work which I don't think I really appreciated as a kid.

I don't remember getting a "Christmas present" from my grandmother. No toy, no piece of jewelry, no book, no money in a card. My Christmas present was her cooking - and, the memories I have of all that amazing food.

I don't know how she did it all, but I sure am glad she did.

My efforts pale in comparison, but I do try to put in as much thought and love into my meal planning and cooking as she did.

It's the memories, however, that I'll always cherish.

Check out this video to get an even better sense of what my childhood Christmases were like.

Boas Festas!

Merry (almost) Chreeshmash, everybody!

Arrested Discernment: Occupying Faith

2011-12-21T10:24:00.004-05:00

Michael Sniffen after his diaconal ordination

It has been my great privilege and joy, over the past 25 years, to assist literally dozens people through a vocational discernment process - not all of them on the ordination path, but including more than a dozen or so young people through the process of ordination.

Michael Sniffen is one of them.

As I mentioned in an earlier post, Michael is 31 years old, recently married, a doctoral student at Drew University, and is priest-in-charge of the Episcopal Church of St. Luke and St. Matthew in Brooklyn, New York. It is my continued great joy and delight to hear him introduce me as his mentor.

He was arrested for trespassing on December 17, 2011 - civil disobedience at Duarte Square in lower Manhattan - as part of the Occupy Wall Street Movement along with his clergy colleague, John Merz, Bishop George Packard, and several others. I'll come back to this in a minute.

One of the most important things I tell folks who come to me about discernment is that it is critical to remember that it is not about being "right" or being "wrong".

Tim

It's about making the best decision, given all that you know about yourself for as long as you have known yourself, along with the situation you find yourself in - right here, right now - and where you see God's hand in it all, leading you into an uncertain future.

It's about taking a risk and stepping forward in faith, piecing together the worn threads of what is in the past and the few, fragile strands of what is in front of you, and weaving them together with the threads of uncertainty about what lies ahead.

And, it's about being a grateful evangelist for all that God has done for you in your life, stopping, every now and again, to tell people you meet along the way about how God is working in your life.

Not so that you can be "right" or convince yourself or others about how correct you are. No. You do that to remind yourself that it is only by God's grace that you have been given the will to do these things and to inspire others to seek God's grace that is present and available to them in their own lives.

And, if you've done that and find yourself "wrong"? Well, I don't believe that God sees our decisions as failures. Life is a wonderful laboratory in which we are asked to participate and experiment. There are no failures. There are simply lessons learned for the next part of the journey.

God knows, I have questioned my own discernment at various times since my initial sense of vocation in 1982. Really? I've asked, during those lonely, spiritually dry, confusing, anxious times.

Melissa

Linda

Really? I've asked God. This - THIS - is what I'm supposed to be doing? You're kidding me, right? I could be making so much more money as a nurse and still doing an important work of ministry for you. Why don't I just hang up my collar right now?

That doesn't mean that I made the wrong decision back in 1982 when I decided to follow my "call" that led to the path towards ordination. It just means that discernment to vocation is a lifelong commitment.

Discernment is, in and of itself, a vocation.

You know, like marriage, which sometimes we learn - sometimes sooner, sometimes later - was a Very Bad decision. Not at the time. Maybe it was a Really Good decision at the time. The best we could make. Or, maybe we weren't so sure it was a Good Decision and it turned out to be the best thing we could have ever done.

It could also be a particular career path which we "found" ourselves on and then, later, learned that it was only meant to take us to a certain point - only prepared us to go only so far - so that we could begin to see the next path opening before us that we couldn't have seen any other way.

Brandon

Sometimes, we make good choices. Sometimes we make make bad choices. Whether good or bad, as Archbishop Temple once said, God still reigns.

I believe, with all my heart, that, right or wrong, good or bad, "....for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to God's purpose" (Romans 8:28).

What's remarkable about the discernment process is that, sometimes, it is, in fact, a process. A gradually awakening. A gentle nudge. Sometimes, it comes in an instant. A huge PUSH wherein one's body begins to move before the mind can make sense of it.

But, there you are, your body on the path, your mind and heart scrambling to keep up.

We are going about the days of our lives, doing the mundane, common, ordinary things one does in the enterprise of being human, and then, out of the blue, we find ourselves in a situation where it all comes down to this one thing, this one decision.

Sometimes, you have to put your body where your mouth has been.

If you've ever experienced a situation like that, you can never read the story of Thomas - whose feast day we mark on the Calendar of Saints today - or The Annunciation of Mary without feeling some visceral effect - a knot in the pit of your stomach, or your pulse racing, or your respirations quickening.

Jeremiah

Br. Morgan

You don't know if it's right or wrong. You just know that you are being called - yelled at, forcefully summoned, physically pushed - and that, right or wrong, you must act, even though others may judge you harshly for it and the consequences for your behavior may be some penalty you don't know how you will bear.

And, when you witness to what has happened to you, some will not believe you. Some will say you are doing it for your own gain. It's grandstanding. It's narcissistic.

Others - especially those who are also in discernment or are confused or anxious or frightened or (yes) envious - will attack your motives, and say all manner of evil against you. Still others will accuse you of passing judgment on those who disagree with you or who have not yet been able to take a stand.

And, that's just part of the price you will pay for acting on - and in - faith.

The thing of it is that I believe with all my heart that those who who attack your motives are also called to do just that. It's a form of refiner's fire - for both.

I say all this as a prelude linking you to a wonderful statement from Michael Sniffen. It was written at the request of his bishop, the Episcopal Bishop of Long Island, Larry Provenzano, and is now posted on the Episcopal Diocese of Long Island webpage.

It's called "Diary of An Arrested Priest", which takes us on his journey with him from the moments before and during and after his arrest at Duarte Square in lower Manhattan as part of the movement known as "Occupy Wall Street".

It's rather long but rather wonderful. I strongly urge you to read it. I love it as much for what it is as for what it is not. Here's why I think this to be so:

Jon Richardson, blessing me after his priestly ordination

First, it is thoroughly incarnational. It is Michael's story, told from Michel's perspective. It is how Michael understands himself to be living out the Gospel story and being faithful to what God is asking him to do and be in the world, and how he is responding to his perception of the presence of the Risen Lord in his midst.

It is thoroughly human. Michael articulately and eloquently expresses his doubts, his outrage, his passion, and his compassion, all laced with bits and pieces of Michael's own brand of humor.

It is not a rant against Trinity Wall Street in particular or The Episcopal Church in general. It is simply his eye-witness account of what he saw and what happened to him. Indeed, there is neither guile nor judgment in any of it (unless you need to hear it in his questions).

Even though it is passionate and convincing and convicting, there is plenteous evidence of ongoing, prayerful discernment - every step of the way: At the fence. On the ladder. In the vacant lot. In the paddy wagon. In the jail cell. In his congregation, preaching and presiding, the next day.

Megan, moi, and Jon

Jesus and Megan

I don't know if Michael made the right decision or the wrong decision on December 17, 2011, to move from being a witness for peaceful demonstration and pastoral presence to climbing the fence and doing civil disobedience.

I happen to think he made a courageous decision and I support him. That does not make either of us right or wrong. It's simply where we have both discerned ourselves to be in this complicated, complex situation.

Sometimes, you have to break a few rules in order to change a few laws. And, hearts. And, minds.

You never know when that moment will arise. I chuckle when I recall that Bishop George Packard, himself a retired military man and the retired Bishop Suffragan of the Armed Forces, was first arrested at Zuccotti Park because he was bringing water to those encamped there.

Bp. Packard (Andrew Burton - Reuters)

He, himself, was neither demonstrating nor "occupying". He was just following the Gospel imperative to minister to the "least and the lost". Still, he was arrested. "Hey, I'm not one of them. I'm a retired Army. Served in 'Nam. I'm military - just like you," he said to the NYPD officer who arrested him, but his words fell on deaf ears.

"But, I was only bringing them water," he protested to one of New York's finest as he was handcuffed.

And, in that moment, an "Occupied Bishop" was born - the one in the "Crayola Magenta" cassock, which had been given to him by Desmond Tutu, who was the first one up the ladder and over the fence at Duarte Square in an act of civil disobedience on December 17, 2011.

I have my own share of stories of those kinds of "Thomas" or "Annunciation moments". I'm sure you do, as well.

Michael and the cake his 'friends' made him

I encourage you to read Michael's story. Toward the end of his piece, he writes,

The Kingdom of God is inside us and all around us. The world is a mess and yet the beauty of community is springing up in the most unexpected places. In an empty lot. In a prison cell. God is building staircases into our hearts this Advent. Sacrificial love is rushing up those stairs. It is the most powerful force on earth and it cannot be stopped. “We are unstoppable,” says God. “Another world is possible.”

What happened on the 17th of December will be forgotten pretty soon. The media cycle will move on. People and institutions will move on. I’m out of jail now, but I am still arrested. God’s Holy Spirit has placed me under arrest. It’s troubling and comforting and overwhelming. I feel completely alive and scared and hopeful. I believe, Lord. Help my unbelief. Help me climb your staircase one step at a time and meet me on the other side. For you promised, “I will never leave you or forsake you.” Be with us all in this season of brokenness and mending.

I am not certain of much in my life, but I know this much to be true:

To be in discernment is to enter into the mystery of having been arrested by God and freed for service of sacrificial love to God's people.

Discernment is one of the greatest acts of faith I know.

As Fred Buechner once wrote:

"Faith is different from theology because theology is reasoned, systematic and orderly, whereas faith is disorderly, intermittent and full of surprises.....Faith is homesickness. Faith is a lump in the throat. Faith is less a position on than a movement toward, less a sure thing than a hunch. Faith is waiting".

Please read "Dairy of An Arrested Priest" to see what I mean.

In these last few days of Advent, I wish a Blessed St. Thomas Day to one and all!

No Time for Anglican Circumspection

2011-12-19T12:42:00.000-05:00

'Peaceful demonstration', please, before 'Litigation'

On Saturday, December 17, during the attempted occupation of Duarte Square (the property owned by Trinity Wall Street and desired as a location for encampment by the protesters of Occupy Wall Street) I was in contact - through cell phone and prayer vigil - with my dear friend and clergy colleague, the Rev'd Michael T. Sniffen.

Michael is 31 years old, recently married, a doctoral student at Drew University, and is priest-in-charge of the Episcopal Church of St. Luke and St. Matthew in Brooklyn, New York. It is my continued great joy and delight to hear him introduce me as his mentor.

This is a complex and complicated situation with some astoundingly simple solutions - if there are those with the mind and heart to believe that the heart of the Scriptural message is hospitality and welcome to the "stranger" - with all the risks and entanglements involved - and that the heart of the message of Jesus is repentance so that we might turn toward the justice of God's Realm.

We've heard from the Bishop of NY and the Presiding Bishop on this matter. We've heard and seen Bishop Tutu do a rare but very telling flip-flop in his statements. We've also heard - and seen - the retired bishop of the Armed Forces, Bishop George Packard who has tried to negotiate between the OWS and TWS folks.

ENS has a wonderful, balanced summary of the day's events, reported by Sharon Sheridan. Please do go to this link and check it out.

You might also be edified by a letter written by another one of the protesters, Rev'd John Merz, to his bishop, the Rt. Rev'd Larry Provenzano after his release from jail for civil disobedience.

I urge you to read it in its entirety, but would like to highlight this paragraph:

There is no need any longer to publicly critique Trinity Wall Street for their track record. I promise for my part that I will not dwell there, but rather to move on with these parting notes:

Publicly they need to preserve face as they understand it according to their varied interests. Privately I must remark on the shocking dissonance between their professed support, their vast resources and power and the things they provided: leaving a drop-in center open, allowing group meetings in other space literally a handful if not less of times, deleting posts on their blogs that enjoined them for basic relief of human needs (porta-potties). It pains me to experience this disconnection, as they never intended to connect, listen to, and support this movement in any real way. It is a rehash of their 9/11 record (many know the real story there) locally in times of social crisis. They do the right thing only if self- preservation (image) requires it and even then only haltingly. There is no amount of explanation that can dissuade me of that. I do hope that I can forgive them. Perhaps one day they will also understand and forgive me for my challenging comments since this started the first weeks of OWS. Time will tell. But to devote another second to them would be a second wasted.

I think it's safe to say that the future of the church is in good hands.

Michael and I spoke briefly on the phone last last night as he was walking home after being released from jail. He wrote this to me early this morning, before going to preach and preside for his congregation. He has given me permission to share it with you. Indeed, he has asked me to help him "get the word out".

I am nothing if not a grateful evangelist for the ongoing revelation of God's Word.

Please take all these things and, like Mary, ponder them deeply in your heart.

Because, like Mary, the time is drawing nigh for us to take action.

Here's what Michael had to say:

After many hours in jail, the NYPD was good enough to release me along with Bishop Packard, The Rev. John Merz, The Rev. Dr. Earl Kooperkamp, other clergy, nuns, students, hunger strikers, parents, grandparents, and people of goodwill who committed the awful crime of stepping onto church property in solidarity with the poor, the least and the lost.

I did not plan to climb the fence, but I could not watch as officers used their knees and other human bodies as weapons against peaceful protesters. I am no hero, but I am a human being.

I naively thought that in this season of Advent, when we prepare for God's occupation of the world in Jesus Christ, that my brothers and sisters at Trinity Church would not direct the police to arrest me for standing in a vacant lot which they happen to own.

I was wrong.

Where were the Trinity clergy as police threw young women to the ground and stepped on them? Were they practicing a "ministry of presence" with their PR team? I hope not.

As I was having my mug shot taken, the flash of light reminded me of the Angel Gabriel appearing to Mary in today's gospel passage from Luke.
With God all things are possible.

May God grant us courage and wisdom. We cannot sit in our studies and offer commentary as God's people suffer. That is sinfulness, plain and simple.
Anglican circumspection will not do in this season. We have had more than enough time to discern what is right.

In this season, we join The Blessed Virgin Mary in saying "Be it unto me according to thy word" and we suffer the consequences and experience the deep joy that a living faith provides.

As we broke bread in our cell with a hunger striker who had not eaten in 15 days he spoke these words, "It is an honor and a privilege to break bread with you today, my friends."

Sweet sacrament divine, sweet sacrament divine.

It's all about the Incarnation, my dears.

Always has been.

Always will be.

Or, as the OWS occupiers chant: "We are unstoppable, another world is possible."

Sounds like a great Christmas message to me.

"....Another world is possible."

2011-12-18T14:28:00.001-05:00

Bp. Packard (Andrew Burton - Reuters)

All I can say is that it's a good thing I wasn't on the preaching roster this morning.

Well, I have a few more things to say, but it is better said from THIS pulpit/blog than one in any church.

I think I might have some untoward affects on the end of the Stewardship Drive.

I would hope that would not be the case, but Anglicanism gives me a deep sense of pragmatism, the root cause of which is a unique sort of ecclesiastical astigmatism - due to "an irregular or toric curvature of the cornea or lens" - which causes blurred vision.

My own vision is fine, thank you very much, but it's been bent a bit by recent displays of some good old fashioned Anglican circumspection. These past few days, however, I'm seeing things much more clearly, now.

But, back to the gospel. I have always loved Luke's telling of the Gospel story which we hear this morning. It's from Luke 1:26-38: The Annunciation. You know the story well, no doubt. Perhaps, like me, you can almost recite the whole thing by heart.

What I love most about the story, I think, is the combination of the very human and the very divine.

I love the way Mary responds in utter confusion, "How can this be, since I am a virgin?".

I love the way the angel, very matter-of-factly, tells her. "The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you; therefore the child to be born will be holy; he will be called Son of God".

Oh, I see. Well, there it is, then. No problem.

But, just in case she needs some more...um..."proof"... he tells her that, "...your relative Elizabeth in her old age has also conceived a son; and this is the sixth month for her who was said to be barren. For nothing will be impossible with God."

Then Mary said, "Here am I, the servant of the Lord; let it be with me according to your word." Then the angel departed from her.

Hmmm... was it Gabriel or Mary who was the Anglican pragmatist?

I was thinking about all these things, "pondering them in my heart", as I was going about my Saturday chores. I was also keenly aware of two things: (1) that evacuation of American troops in Iraq was in its final hours and (2) Saturday was the day of the "D17 Protest"- the three month anniversary of the Occupy Wall Street (OWS) Movement which was also the day the "occupiers", as they are know, had chosen to "occupy" Duarte Square, a vacant lot in lower Manhattan owned by Trinity Wall Street (TWS).

Now, let me hasten to say that the good rector and people of TWS have extended good, Anglican hospitality to the good people of OWS. They have allowed them to used their "public facilities" (or "restrooms" or "water closets" or "toilets"), some of their meeting rooms and, of course, the sanctuary for respite and quiet and meditation and prayer.

You know. The way they do with most of the general population on any given day.

Photo Credit: Miranda Leitsinger/msnbc.com

When the occupiers were evicted from Zuccotti Park, they petitioned TWS to use the vacant lot as a place where they could gather and meet and have a presence.

Despite the fact that this has been a largely "virtual" movement - carried by websites and live cam videos, emails and IMs and tweets and blogs - there remains a need for place and presence.

Which brought me back to the story of The Annunciation. I don't mean to sound trite or simplistic, but the bottom line of the story is that God announced, through the Angel Gabriel, the need to "occupy" Mary's womb.

And Mary said, "What? Are you kidding me? I'm young. I haven't had time to even think about such things. That's really why I'm called a 'virgin'. Besides, I've never been "occupied" before. I've been "preoccupied" just trying to figure out how to be a young woman in today's day and age."

And, the angel Gabriel said, "Well, look, here's the plan. I know it sounds unrealistic. I know you haven't had time to check with your OB-GYN specialist, much less your parents or your boyfriend or legal counsel, and let's just leave out the theologians for now, but trust me. We could do this. You can do this. It will be totally amazing. Honest. God can do anything. Even your cousin Elizabeth - the one they said was too old to get pregnant? - is already six months along. See? Just say yes. God will take care of the rest."

And, she did. And, the incarnation, as we know, changed and transformed the world. Seems that even God needs 'place and presence'. That's just how the incarnation works.

I was thinking about that as I heard the OWS protesters chant, "“We are unstoppable, another world is possible."

They were chanting that before - and long after - they "occupied" Duarte Park. Well, at least, temporarily. They were promptly arrested and removed by the NYPD.

Bp. Packard (Stephanie Keith / AP)

The first one to climb the ladder and scale the fence surrounding the vacant lot was none other than Bishop George Packard, the 67 year old retired military man and retired Bishop Suffragan of the Armed Forces in the Episcopal Church.

He blogs at "Occupied Bishop". If you haven't already, please go there and visit and send him an encouraging word.

You couldn't miss him in his "Crayola Magenta" cassock. He tumbled to the ground but then got up pretty quickly to let the rest of the crowd know that he was okay. You can watch a video of the event which is posted over at The Lead on Episcopal Cafe.

His wife, Brooke, who was videotaping the event, reports this "Occupy 2.0" for her husband, the bishop, on his blog:

At this point, I think I stood up. I was forced close to the fence and turned to face Officer Teague. His knee came up and hit me in the chest. I was grateful for the chained fence – the barrier softened the jolt. I looked him in the eye saying "Please don't knee me." He looked back at me and did again. Did he smile? Then he did it again. I fell backward into the crowd below me feeling the crush behind, in front, and from the fence which the NYPD was still single-mindedly trying to push onto those outside the fence. Then I felt someone pick me up and throw me onto a pile of people. I looked up and it was a police officer; using my own body as a weapon against other peaceful protesters. Who knew the NYPD could be so clever?

Oh, my dear, that's just the tip of the iceberg of their cleverness.

Bishop Packard has been trying to negotiate and mediate between the occupiers and the good folks at Trinity. Here's what he wrote on his blog in the early morning of the D17 protest:

I am still baffled that the Episcopal Church of which I have been a member all my life could not--through Trinity--find some way to embrace these thousands of young people in our very diminishing ranks. (Every year for the last five years we have lost 14,000 members.) Just as we pioneered an awareness of the full membership for the LBGT community what's happening here? How hard would it have been for Trinity to convene legal counsel and say, "Give us some options so that a charter could be granted over the winter months?"

I had proposed that to the Rector and I still think it was a solution. Occupy Wall Street gets a home over the winter (one that would offer food for the Homeless and a clinic--truly bring alive dead space) and Trinity would have the assurance that the lease would return to them safe and sound come Spring. Everybody wins.

With God, all things are possible. With the church? Well, not so much.

There is no paucity of places to get information on this - and other - events. Religion Dispatches has a great article with some pictures and videos. There is, of course, "The Lead" at Episcopal Cafe. Mother Jones has a story, along with a video shot in the Paddy Wagon with Bishop Packard.

Here's a link to a statement by the Rev'd Dr. James H. Cooper, rector of TWS. You can find a letter from Archbishop Desmond Tutu to Bishop Packard which you can find here. He later wrote another letter, in which he appeared to flip-flop on the matter, but I'll let you be the judge of that.

And, just for good measure, here's a link to the letters written by Presiding Bishop Katharine Jefferts Schori and another by Mark Sisk, bishop of New York - both in support of Trinity Wall Street.

I'm remembering that, the year I took GOEs, one of the questions on the exam was "What is the difference between 'the good' and 'the right'?". While I struggled for 30 minutes to respond to the question, a friend of mine was done in less than ten minutes. I later asked her what happened. She said, "Oh, that was a great question, wasn't it? And the answer is so easy."

"What is the difference between 'the good' and 'the right'? God is good and the bishop is right."

Yes, God is good. Ah, but which bishop is right? The one with the pointiest mitre, the longest staff, the biggest diocese, the richest coffers, or the most titles?

Or, might it be the one who acts most like Jesus?

On the day when we have ended the occupation of Iraq and the Occupy Wall Street movement is in search of a place to occupy and become more incarnate, we consider the Annunciation of the Incarnation of God.

The gospel has never been more alive, more relevant, more troubling - or more hopeful - for me.

Even God needs place and presence. No one know who or where or when or how God will chose.

I don't know why that is. I only know this much to be true: That's just how the incarnation works.

Suddenly, I'm beginning to hear the words of Mary and the angel and the Magnificat in the chants of the OWS protesters, "We are unstoppable, another world is possible."

Somebody in this "church" give me an, "Amen."

All About Mii

2011-12-17T12:52:00.002-05:00

I finally figured out how to use my Nintendo Wii and I am having a grand time.

This is the BEST early Christmas present. Evah.

First of all, it takes up very little room. Just a small box, a few DVDs (well, just two for now - Super Mario Brothers and Wii Fit), a Wii Wand and something called a nunchuck controller, which I have no idea how to use or what it's for, but I'm sure, when the kids and grandkids get here, I will.

All in good time.

Oh, there is also this Wii Console, which is like an electronic balance board. It checks your Body Mass Index (BMI), and calculates your Wii Fit Age (While I'm deemed "overweight" - BOO! - my Wii fit age is 7 years younger than I really am - WOO HOO!), helps you find your center of gravity so you can work on your "core", keeps track of your pace and time and estimates the amount of calories you've burned after each exercise, helps you establish weekly or monthly goals for yourself, and keeps tabs on your daily progress.

It's like having your own personal trainer. Except, it's an Avatar (a Mii) you create in various skin tones and body shapes and then "name".

I LOVE having my own Avatar. That's not her, above. Mine has shorter, darker hair, a rounder face with a real smile and not a smirk, and is just a tad bit more plump. Her name is "Liza".

Last evening, "Liza" and I did some Yoga moves to warm up, then did about ten minutes on the Hula Hoop (GREAT exercise), and then did more than 900 steps before jogging for 10 minutes.

It was a total of 31 minutes of exercise and I had GREAT fun. I'm just a tad sore this morning - I'm amazed that the Yoga side stretching exercises really tugged at some obviously under-exercised muscles - but the soreness is mostly in my quadriceps and gluteus maximus muscles which have gotten rather maximus in the past year of not having any regular exercise - other than walking Mr. Theo.

I'm about to go out and do some marketing and shopping (Shhh... Don't tell Ms. Conroy but I'm going to get her her own Wii Wand - and maybe a Sports Wii or Wii Just Dance DVD) and then, I'll come home and "Liza" and I will hit the old Wii Console again sometime after nightfall and before dinner.

Maybe I'll even figure out how to download the Netflix program, which comes standard, but I'm yet to figure out how to activate it. Maybe one of the kids will help me do that when they arrive at Christmas.

All in good time.

I'm hoping to add an additional 10 minutes to my routine every day - or, every other day, depending on how I feel - until I'm doing an hour work out four or five times a week. Hopefully, I'll meet that goal before the end of January, 2012.

I'm already thinking ahead to when I have to travel. The Wii Fit Bundle I got came with a traveling case. I'm going to have to call ahead to hotels in Indianapolis where General Convention will be held and make sure I can hook up my Wii to the television set in my room.

Yeah, I'm hooked. Bad.

And, yes, I do miss going to the gym and making friends with the folks who go regularly. When I lived in Chatham, I used to travel a whole five minutes to get to the Madison YM/WCA. Sometimes, in the Spring, I would walk there as my "warm up" exercise. I loved to go first thing in the morning and talk with all the elderly men and women who were positively "religious" about their exercise. They were so encouraging and helpful.

We traded "heart healthy" recipes and shared pictures of our grandchildren, traded opinions about the latest news stories and celebrities, shared a bit of town gossip, and wiped down each other's equipment after a work out.

Now, it's just me and "Liza" - my Mii Avatar - who holds no opinion about anything other than me. She's just as encouraging and says things like "Nice, steady pace. Keep it up!" And, "You're moving your arms nicely. Good job!"" And, "Watch your balance, you don't want to fall!". And, "Remember to drink some water."

I love my Liza, the Mii Avatar Personal Trainer.

One of the great things is that the whole thing cost far less than an annual membership in a gym - and, that doesn't even include the cost of a personal trainer.

I know. I know. It isn't the same, but you know, it's the best I can do right now. I'm just not going to travel 30 miles round trip four or five times a week to join the closest YM/WCA. That's an additional expense and use of gasoline that I simply can't justify.

I mean, I know this narcissistic culture of ours is "All About Me", but there is a line that can get crossed between self care and self absorption, you know?

Me? I like being all about Mii.